Chapter 9

  Ruth quickly looked around the room before she looked back down at her lap. Bella noticed that and it seemed to bother her.

  Bella ran her finger down her hair, “What’s wrong, Ruth?”

  Ruth remained as still as a statue, “... Nothing…”

  Bella made a tch sound, “I desperately want to hear your thoughts right now… please.”

  After a moment Ruth softly responded, “I feel like I don’t belong here…”

  Bella sat up instantly, “Right, tell me who is making you feel uncomfortable, and I will make them regret it.”

  Ruth put her hands gently on Bella’s shoulder, “Shh…”

  Bella stopped and her anger instantly disappeared, “Sorry…”

  Everyone instantly took a breath of surprise. If someone had told me Bella could be calmed down instantly like that, I would have called them a liar. Clearly everyone else was also caught off guard.

  Aisling leaned forward, “Ruth… Do you realise the power that you wield?”

  Ruth didn’t look at her, “... What are you talking about?”

  Nadia spoke, “You… control Bella…”

  Ruth shook her head, still not looking at anyone, “I don’t control-”

  Bella smiled as she cut her off, “Yes you do. If anyone here tried to control me, I would break their neck… But you? I’m all yours Ruth…”

  Oliver chuckled, “This is absolutely… insane.”

  Zoe nodded, “I wish I could tell you that she is just pulling our legs… but she just gave Ruth everything right now, sincerely everything.”

  I looked at Bella, “She really means this much to you… doesn’t she?”

  Bella looked at me with a humble smile, “I used to think nothing would matter to me more than the Angels… But now here she is… my angel.”

  Ruth was looking at Bella with an indescribably intense admiration, “You’re amazing Bella… you’re just perfect in every way.”

  Ashley took a few steps closer, “How is this not romantic? These are the words of lovers, not friends!”

  Zoe smiled, “I am focusing on them both… Trust me it’s platonic, there’s no love or lust here, just respect, admiration, understanding and patience.”

  Ashley was clearly pissed off, “They only met like an hour ago! This is absolutely stupid! Ruth is just an ordinary girl-”

  Bella stood up in rage and started stomping to Ashley. I panicked, it was a nightmare, and it all developed so quickly… Michael and Oliver stood up quickly to try to prevent a murder before… Ruth spoke.

  “... Bella…”

  Bella instantly turned; her face curled in fury like a wolf, seconds away from tearing into their prey. She looked at Ruth, breathing intensely.

  “... Please come back… I can’t stand being alone right now…”

  Immediately the rage disappeared from Bella’s face. Her guard lowered as she suddenly looked deeply concerned, maybe even worried. She quickly sat back down next to Ruth and pulled her into a tight cuddle.

  Bella stared into her eyes, “I’m here… I won’t leave you again, I promise.”

  Ruth buried her face in Bella’s neck, “... Thank you…”

  Everyone was frozen in place. Michael and Oliver stood there stunned. I looked at Ashley… She was terrified. I quickly walked over to her.

  My voice felt weak, “Are you ok, Ashley?”

  She shook her head, “I think I just had a heart attack…”

  I hugged her, “Do me a favour… please don’t ever try Bella again.”

  She nodded, “Trust me… I won’t.”

  I spoke gently, “... How's the pain in your shoulder? It's making you cranky, isn't it?”

  She chuckled weakly, “Guilty… It's gotten pretty bad now.”

  I let go of her, “If I give you one of mine, you'll be done for the night. Take two of yours, you'll be drowsy but still functional.”

  She pulled out her pill bottle and shook out two tablets, quickly swallowing them both. Michael and Oliver were back in their seats, but both of them seemed stressed, which was completely understandable. I needed to try to distract them.

  *

  I cleared my throat, “So… I met the prime minister today…”

  Zoe looked at me, grateful for the change of topic, “Do you want to know what she said after the meeting?”

  I forgot that Zoe saw her, “... Probably nothing good.”

  She shook her head, “She wished she had more time before AI cut it short.”

  I shook my head, “It's hard to appreciate that she is in fact the PM. She was the one who instigated the western US war and… The Clamp… How could she do that?”

  Zoe looked away, “She told you today how. She has no friends, and all her enemies are dead… she made sure of that. She's detached herself from the people she serves. It's all just business decisions, resources, profits and losses.”

  I folded my arms, “Who even is she? What kind of person behaves like this…”

  Zoe looked into my eyes with intensity, “I'll tell you her story another day, just know she has her reasons.”

  Bella's eyes were closed, “I don't care for that slag, let's talk about Ruth. Hun, you still look uncomfortable… talk to me.”

  Ruth paused for a while, “... Bella… I don’t belong in this group...”

  Bella seemed confused, “Why?”

  She stared at her lap, “... This room is full of the elite. The highest leadership of the Roses… The best agents…”

  Bella paused, trying to understand what she was saying, “I don’t…”

  I helped convey what Ruth was trying to say, “Bella, Ruth is a shy person who lacks self-confidence. She’s starstruck and feels out of place.”

  Bella laughed, “Oh, don’t be silly hun, we’re all just people here.”

  Ruth's voice was quiet, “... I’m just a janitor…”

  There was a moment of quiet after she said that, and I imagined it was because nobody knew how to respond. I knew what to say, however.

  I looked her in the eye, “Ruth, I’m an uneducated, unskilled, technically homeless, disabled man who was literally just a punching bag most of my life. If I can belong here, then so can you. Nobody thinks less of you and if they try to act superior to you, I will kick them out of this apartment.”

  Ruth looked at me with an intense respect, “Thank you, Andrew… I actually believe you as well…”

  AI also contributed, “Ruth, your role as a cleaner is just as meaningful as any other role. Please do not put yourself down, you provide a valuable service for us all and everyone here knows and respects this. If anyone mocks or bullies you, I will find out and take measures to prevent it from happening again. In the Roses, nobody is more than anybody else.”

  Ruth seemed to disagree, “The two creators of the Roses are sitting opposite me… and you say nobody is more than anybody else?... What about agents?”

  Aisling leaned forward, “Ruth, I’m not above you. Nadia and I made this organisation, yes… but that doesn’t make us better than you. Trust me, at the end of the day, we are just ordinary people with fears and failings.”

  Nadia smiled, “Agents' jobs are relentless, they’re constantly busy with something… That doesn’t make them better or worse, just more involved.”

  Ashley gave a cheeky smile, “The extra pay doesn’t hurt… But sometimes I wish I could just stop and take it easy.”

  Michael nodded, “It’s never ending, always something more to be done. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have it any other way… But I wish sometimes I was a cleaner.”

  *

  I looked at Bella, “What else do you want to talk about?”

  She thought for a long moment before she opened her eyes, “Ruth… I want to know about today… What was said.”

  I answered before Ruth could, “This is extremely private and personal. She doesn't have to talk about this if she doesn't want to, honesty policy be damned.”

  Ruth was still nestled in Bella's safe neck, her eyes closed as she gently breathed. She didn't move for a long moment as she seemed to think about whether to talk about it or not.

  She quietly said, “I will talk about it until it becomes too difficult…”

  Oliver seemed concerned, “You don't have to…”

  She glanced at him, “If Bella wants to know, then I'll tell her.”

  Bella nuzzled her, “Take your time, whatever speed is comfortable.”

  She began explaining, “When Andrew visited me… he knew I was still… in that dark place.”

  Bella whispered, “Dark place?”

  I softly stated, “Suicide…”

  Bella nodded to show her understanding. There was a respectful silence for a moment as Ruth found the right words to say next.

  Her voice was soft, “Andrew told me about how he broke down… when he walked through…”

  Bella rubbed her shoulder, “The aftermath… Hell.”

  She nodded slightly, “... He made me feel understood… He knew how horrible it was… how scared I felt.”

  Oliver mentioned, “Andrew is easily the strongest one here, mentally… Yet even he nearly broke. You must have realised this fact, Ruth.”

  She nodded, “Yes… That's why I felt so much relief… I realised my reaction was not unique or that I was not worse than anyone else…”

  I shook my head, “Ruth… I only walked through it. You literally spent four whole days, up close, working in that hell… Your reaction is incredibly impressive. I have no idea how you even managed to get through it…”

  Ruth started shaking, “I don't want to talk about that! I don't want to think about it! You can't make me-”

  Bella calmed her, “Shh my angel, my precious friend… Be calm, let the thoughts leave you, we will never have you visit that hell again… Shh… Breath.”

  We waited for Ruth to stop shaking as Bella stroked her hair. We promised her time and a safe space… And that's precisely what she was given.

  After a long moment she finally continued, “I was so cold when I got home. Nothing I did warmed me up… Andrew thought it was psychological.”

  Oliver contributed, “It was definitely psychological. I overheard all the things you said you did to try to warm up… If none of that worked, then it was shock that you were experiencing.”

  Ruth continued, “I couldn't sleep… I kept waking up thinking there was blood on me.”

  I interjected, “At the time she was certain there was blood. I mention this because it's relevant to the next bit.”

  Ruth nodded, “... I kept showering and cleaning my hands… But the blood always returned…”

  Ruth didn't talk anymore, and I knew precisely why. I would have to explain the reasoning for the attempt…

  I breathed in deeply, “In her mind she reasoned… that the blood that kept returning… was her own… And in her desperation, she thought… to bleed herself to-”

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  Bella freaked out, “Oh my God please stop, that’s enough!”

  I happily stopped… I was struggling to even say it. I looked around to see everyone was deeply uncomfortable.

  I resumed, “So it occurred to me… If it’s psychological and the blood she is seeing on her is her own, then maybe…”

  Zoe tried to explain it, “Then she was seeing her mind trying to cope with… herself?”

  Ruth nodded, “Andrew helped me realise… I was afraid of who I had changed into after the cleanup…”

  Bella perked up, “Oooh! You became stronger and less afraid, but it happened so fast your brain was stuck between two people?”

  Ruth nodded, “The blood was the old me… I kept seeing it because I was refusing to let go of who I used to be.”

  Everyone in the room all reacted at the same time. There was a large “Ooooh” as people realised the deeper meaning behind it.

  Zoe finished it for us all, “So she had to let go… leave her old self behind as her braver self took control.”

  I nodded, “She did… and the blood disappeared as soon as she did. Ruth… I’m so sorry that you had to leap so far and so fast. I wish life gave good people like you more time to grow.”

  Ruth shook her head, “You saved me Andrew… You saved my life by helping me understand and make peace with this all… Life did give me time, by giving me you.”

  After a long silence Bella spoke, “Andrew, I can say with complete certainty, after this there is no doubt at all… You’re not a one hit wonder, you’re not a fluke or just lucky. You are so much more than I or anyone else could ever have realised.”

  Zoe nodded energetically, “Now that I know what happened… I’m extremely impressed.”

  Oliver smiled, “Andrew, that was genius. I’m a trained psychologist and even I would have struggled to connect the dots like you did.”

  Michael laughed, “Andrew stop being so impressive… You’re making me look bad here.”

  Ashley walked over to me and looked into my eyes, “How do you do it? What is your secret, Andrew? How do you always manage to find success in such hopeless situations? I mean once I could understand… But you have done this so many times, I’ve lost count!”

  I looked back into her eyes, “I do it because I have to and because there is no other choice. You talk as if I ever had the choice to walk away…”

  Aisling interjected, “You always had the choice to walk away. With Ronald you need only have told him who we were. At any time, you could have made the choice to give up and end your own life... You could have ignored Ruth when you first met her, you could have ignored my depression… You always had the choice, don’t try to excuse your greatness.”

  Michael agreed, “You could have not helped the Angels when you met them on the train…”

  Oliver smiled, “You could have stayed in this apartment and never risked getting a panic attack from a car horn.”

  Ashley contributed, “You could have not cared about this country and its youth having hope. You could have let Aisling and Nadia find out what you did and had them fall apart in regret.”

  I cut them all off, “Enough! I won’t stand here and have you all stroke my ego like this. You asked me why I did what I did, and I told you how I saw it… Stop this, please.”

  Bella stood up and walked over to me, “Fine, we will save your recognition for another day, however…”

  She hugged me, “I owe you this at the very least. You did this all and I never even knew it. You saved my new best friend… Thank you for everything, Andrew. I owe you more than you know.”

  I hugged her back and squeezed her gently, “I’m so glad I found you again, Bella. You were my first friend, the first glimpse of hope in my life.”

  Bella rocked me gently, “Call me by my real name this time Aaron, it’s appropriate I think…”

  I whispered, “Trish… You’re a priceless friend.”

  Zoe spoke, “Trish? What a tacky name…”

  Bella laughed, “Innit? That’s why I prefer Bellatrix.”

  Everyone chuckled as Bella let go of me and she went back to cuddle with Ruth. I stood there staring at the ground, deep in thought about my earlier meeting with Ruth. I thought about how hard I tried, as the feeling of panic nearly overcame me. I was so afraid that if I didn’t succeed, she would try to end her life again.

  *

  I looked at Zoe, “Please tell me Ruth is still not suicidal… Do another check if you have to, I just need to… I need to know for certain.”

  Zoe turned to me, “I don’t need to, I have been focused on her for over an hour, Andrew… she’s not.”

  Ruth spoke, “Please don’t talk about me as if I’m not here… You could have just asked me, and the answer is no, Andrew… I don’t want to die anymore.”

  I nodded as I sat on the floor, holding my legs together. I buried my face into my legs as I tried to just relax. A moment of silence passed before Oliver spoke.

  He spoke gently, “Andrew… Are you ok?”

  I tried to sound tough, “Yeah, I'm fine.”

  Michael stood up and crouched next to me, “No, you’re not. You’re absolutely shattered… You’ve spent every ounce of energy you have left.”

  I breathed in deeply as I slowly let the breath out, “... Maybe.”

  Oliver spoke, “Ruth, I hope you appreciate just how hard Andrew tried. When he left the room, he was moments from falling into despair… All he cared about was going back in to try to save you. If I didn’t force him to recompose, he would have faithfully withered away at your side.”

  I mumbled, “Don’t start patting my back again, please.”

  Michael sat down on the floor next to me, “Sit on the sofa, I’ll sit here. You have earned a comfortable seat.”

  I shook my head, “This is plenty comfortable enough… I just need to stop focusing so hard.”

  His voice was sceptical, “Andrew, this is the floor, there’s nothing comfortable about it at all…”

  I glanced at him, “Have you ever slept in an alley when it’s raining before?... Then don’t talk to me about what is comfortable.”

  He chuckled, “I’m not arguing whether this is more or less comfortable than an alley, I’m talking about the sofa definitely being more comfortable.”

  I shook my head, “I’m not physically tired, Michael… I’m mentally tired. I just need to distract myself.”

  The front door opened, and a Black Roses agent came in with their meals. Bella took her giant shotgun off the table and propped it behind the sofa and the two began eating immediately. They ate as if they had never eaten before, which was surprising since neither of them had done too much exercise.

  Between mouthfuls of food, Bella spoke, “If you had told me that you were tired, before you told me why, I would tell you to man up… Now though? You’ve had a tough day, take it easy.”

  Ruth seemed sad, “Sorry to be a burden on you, Andrew… I hope you rest well.”

  Aisling mentioned, “Second day after the HQ is restored and you’re all worn out… I’m sorry, Andrew. Let’s hope things will be easier in the coming days.”

  I nodded, “That’s the good news… There is nothing else, at least that I can see. I’m honoured to have Ashley back and Ruth… Ruth you’ll be fine with Bella at your side, I can tell she genuinely cares for you.”

  Zoe was focused on me, “It’s always like this though, isn’t it? Always something else, a new impossible challenge you can’t turn away from. You’re so tired and it’s not even the training that’s causing it.”

  Everyone looked at Zoe. She was reading me, and I suppose everyone wanted to know how I was doing.

  She continued to monologue me to the others, “Always something else… You just wish you could stay in bed and never leave it, hide away from all the stress… All the pressure.”

  I nodded, “I really feel it now. I was so worried about Ruth and my heart broke when Ashley was hurt that I never visited. I try so hard… but it’s never enough.”

  Ashley laughed, “So pretty much… It’s us that’s broken. Andrew, we will never stop breaking… It’s time you learned to let go and watch us fall apart.”

  I shook my head, “Never! What if I had done that before? We wouldn’t be here. I don’t get the choice to walk away, and I don’t think I ever will get the choice.”

  Oliver spoke, “That’s because this is who you are, Andrew. It’s what makes you incredible and irreplaceable.”

  I kept my face tucked in my legs as I closed my eyes to think about all that has happened the last two days. It was definitely not the return that I had hoped for.

  I looked up at Oliver, “I’m so sorry for failing you like I did, with the car horn. I hope you will forgive me.”

  Oliver's face changed to a smile, “I know why you did it, Andrew. Maybe I just need to accept that you are now a strong man who isn’t afraid to take risks to see results. Perhaps it’s time I made peace with you no longer being weak and fragile.”

  I looked at him for a moment, “I need to strive to be considerate before I act so certainly. Like Aisling loves to say, it’s not about being right… It’s about being kind.”

  Aisling beamed a smile at me, “Exactly. Oliver has given his all for you, sacrificed more than many of us could imagine. He, more than anyone else, deserves your consideration and respect, always.”

  Oliver perked up, “That reminds me. I’ll be sharing my time here and at the HQ, as AI has requested that I remain available here.”

  I tilted my head sideways, “Why, what’s happening- Oh Ruth, of course.”

  Ruth looked to Oliver, “... I’ll be fine… I don’t want to bother you.”

  Bella nudged her, “Don’t be silly. Oliver is the best psychologist/therapist you’ll ever know. He should be here with you Ruth, you deserve someone to talk to if you need it.”

  Ruth looked at her bowl of soup, “I don’t know how to… do therapy…”

  Oliver leaned forward, “Then tomorrow you will learn, and I promise you, it’s not something hard… You only need to be honest.”

  She looked at him puzzled, “Haven’t I already done that now though?”

  Oliver nodded, “Indeed. Because of Andrew’s policy of honesty, you have indeed already begun therapy, you just never really knew it.”

  She seemed surprised, “So it’s… always like this? Always so honest?”

  He nodded, “Yes, for good or ill we are always entirely honest with each other. It’s uncomfortable and difficult, absolutely… However, I like to think the reason everyone keeps coming back is because deep down we all adore honesty. No lying, no masks and no hiding.”

  Nadia nodded, “Absolutely! It was very uncomfortable for me at first, but now I can’t imagine any other way of talking with everyone here.”

  Aisling smiled, “Especially since all the hard topics seem to be resolved for the most part.”

  *

  Ruth nodded, “So then what do you all normally talk about, other than the hard problems?”

  Oliver stopped for a moment to think, “Um… Well, we do things and talk about… stuff.”

  Bella chuckled, “Oliver’s a little bit of a prude, Ruth. There’s a fair bit of sex happening.”

  Ruth froze with her spoon in the air, “... What?”

  There was an uncomfortable silence in the room. Perhaps many were slightly ashamed of how comfortable we had all become with sex… Ruth might not have been so understanding.

  I looked at her, “It’s very liberal here, Ruth, and of course I trust you to maintain everyone's privacy here… but most of us are engaging with each other.”

  Ruth looked very uncomfortable, “Oh… Ok I won’t ask then.”

  Ashley laughed, “Looks like we got another one who is shy about sex. Ruth, what’s wrong with people having sex?”

  I stood up and stared at Ashley, “Are you seriously about to start arguing about Ruth’s sexual comfort level?”

  Ashley took a few steps towards me, “Why should we have to hide this? There’s no law against sex, we’re all consenting adults, people shouldn’t be judging us.”

  I took a few steps towards her, “That’s fine, however you need to respect that other people might not see it the same, they might not be as comfortable with such private things.”

  She walked up to my face, “So should we just shut up and pretend it doesn’t exist, because one or two people don’t feel confident enough to acknowledge that people have sex?”

  I looked her in the eye, “What I’m saying is that we need to behave respectfully and maturely. Just because we all do it doesn’t mean we need to flaunt it, so just…”

  I took a step back and put my face into my hands. This had gotten me all stressed and I hit the wall of exhaustion immediately.

  A moment passed before Ashley softly spoke, “Sorry Andrew… I didn’t mean to get you going, mate. Forget it, we can talk about this another time, just please relax, alright?”

  I shook my head, “... God my head hurts so much… I just need Ruth to feel welcome, alright? We can’t… God damn it, where are my pills?”

  I had my right hand reaching down into my pocket when I felt a hand hold it and pull it out. I looked to see Aisling smiling at me.

  Her voice was gentle, “Andrew, don’t use the drugs, come sit with us and relax… Please?”

  Zoe stood up and changed seats next to Bella, “Go, Andrew… relax.”

  I hesitated before I finally went and sat down, “Ok… ok.”

  Aisling and Nadia both hugged each of my arms as they rested their heads on my shoulder. I waited for their blessing as I looked at my lap. A moment passed before I realised… Where was the blessing?

  I looked between them, “What’s going on, it’s not working?”

  Aisling looked up at me, “What, it’s not?”

  I shook my head, “... No and my head feels like it’s splitting apart.”

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out two pills, instantly swallowing them. Oliver leaned forward and looked at me with fascination.

  His tone was professional, “Their blessing doesn’t work? At all?"

  I shook my head, "Not at all... I have no idea if that's good or bad, to be honest."

  Aisling and Nadia let go of my arms with confused faces. I looked at Oliver, hoping he had an explanation, but he shook his head... He didn't know either.

  I rubbed my temples, "Great... Now I've lost my get out of jail free card... Shit."

  AI gently spoke, "What if you no longer need it? Are you suffering from your pain or are you just mentally tired?"

  I thought about it for a moment, "Actually... It's just my mind feeling tired, now that I think about it."

  AI theorised, "Then I believe it is logical that you would not receive their blessing, because you never needed it."

  Oliver nodded, "I think AI cracked it, that makes a lot of sense."

  Nadia put her hand on my shoulder, "Sorry that we couldn't help… Maybe next time."

  Bella shook her head, "Screw that noise, let's focus on there not being a next time."

  Oliver mentioned, "You probably shouldn't have taken those pills…"

  I realised what he was implying, "Yeah it just occurred to me… What does one do with a bad headache?"

  He stood up, "A glass of water and paracetamol. I'll go get you some."

  Michael chuckled, "And so we discover another thing that Andrew never knew of or used."

  Ashley looked at me incredulously, "So what would you do before when you had a bad headache?"

  I chuckled, "Nothing."

  Bella laughed, "Obviously Ashley, what did you expect him to say? That he would bleed himself?”

  Ruth jumped up to her feet instantly. Her face was a combination of rage and terror. She stared vicious daggers at Bella.

  She broke into a shout, “Do you think that's funny?! You think bleeding is a joke?!”

  Bella immediately realised her careless mistake, “I'm so sorry I-”

  Ruth continued her assault, “Do you think I'm a joke?! I trusted you and you laughed at me!”

  Bella's face changed to a face I had only seen once before… That time Aisling had a go at her. It was a face of hopelessness and regret. She glanced around, desperately seeking someone to help her out of the nightmarish situation.

  Unfortunately, I had become temporarily stunned. When Ruth started shouting, my head felt like it had split in two. When I had managed to recover from that, I glanced up to see most people looking at me. Of course it fell on me, for some reason!

  For the first time in a long time… I acted ruthlessly.

  I screamed at her, “SIT DOWN RUTH!”

  She turned her head to me, tears streaming down her face, “You're turning on me too-”

  “SIT THE FUCK DOWN, NOW!”

  She fell back into the seat and sobbed into her hands. Everyone stared at me in shock and surprise. I couldn't care less then, I was at the end of my wick.

  Bella started softly talking to me, “Thank you Andrew-”

  I shouted at her, “You shut up as well! Nobody says one more bloody word to me until this headache goes away, I swear to God, I can’t think like this!”

  Oliver quickly came over and gave me the glass of water and a couple of white tablets. I instantly swallowed them and drank the whole glass down, as I buried my head into my hands.

  Nearly 10 or 15 minutes passed in relative silence as I waited for relief in my head. Finally, it came, and I found myself able to think again.

  *

  I looked up at Ruth, “Bella didn't mean it like that… Even after everything I did today, it's clear to everyone… That Bella is your greatest ally here. Don't ever accuse your greatest friend like that… That's how you tear them apart.”

  I looked at Bella, “Stupid mistake... I know it wasn't intentionally malicious, but still… She literally kneeled in a pool of blood, Bella. What you said was so insensitive and horribly timed.”

  Bella looked defeated and crushed… Precisely how she looked after Aisling obliterated her. I was going to try to ease her, but it seemed Aisling also noticed it.

  Aisling smiled, “Chin up Bella, you failed but you also learned. Don't be beat up… be better.”

  Bella shook her head, thoroughly disappointed with herself, "I'm more than sorry Ruth, I failed you…"

  Ruth banged her hand on the sofa between her legs, "Do you have any Idea how horrible it is to clean up entrails?... I had to actually see all the blood in that foyer and the outside entrance… I cleaned all of it!"

  I looked up at Ruth, "Ruth… breathe."

  Zoe leaned over to look at me, "So you do get angry from time to time."

  I looked away, "When people start screaming while I'm suffering a migraine... Yeah, I get angry too sometimes."

  Nadia looked concerned, "You scared me... for a second I saw the monster Zoe claimed you were... It felt like you were going to kill someone."

  Michael agreed, "Yeah, serious aggression. I'm surprised you didn't throw the glass at someone."

  I shook my head, "It wasn't that bad."

  Ashley spoke quietly, "It actually was, Andrew. For a moment you seemed to have lost control."

  I went quiet for a while, "I was in control... but only just. Maybe I should call it for tonight. I think it's pretty clear that I'm not in the best state at the moment."

  Oliver nodded, "Agreed, I say we end this session and let people cool down a little."

  Aisling, Nadia, Zoe and Michael stood up and stretched at the exact same time. They laughed when they realised the timing. I stood up to say goodbye to them all when I noticed Bella was still sitting.

  I walked up to her and crouched to her eye level, "Bella, I know you just got beaten... But don't sit there and sulk, please..."

  She was looking at Ruth, "... I don't want to leave."

  Oliver folded his arms, "What do you want then?"

  Bella gently put her hand on Ruth's leg, "I want to stay... Ruth I want to..."

  Ruth looked up from the sofa to Bella, "... I don't want you to leave either..."

  I chuckled, "Then stay Bella. Just don't argue and wake me up."

  Oliver smiled, "Thankfully we have two sofas."

  Bella looked at me confused, "Andrew you have a king-sized bed, I can sleep with her..."

  She looked at Ruth, "Assuming you don't mind?"

  Ruth nodded, "... I don't mind..."

  Ashley seemed mildly irritated, "Zoe you sure they are..."

  Zoe cut her off, "Yes! They aren't into each other, Ashley please..."

  Ashley folded her arms, “I'm just saying, the way they speak about each other and now they will share a bed together…”

  I chucked, “That's just you seeing things from your perspective. You always see the sexual side of things.”

  She tried to shrug, but her shoulder hurt, “Ah geez… Whatever, I'm off. Michael, can you give me a lift please, these painkillers affect my driving…”

  Michael nodded, “No problem, let's go. See you tomorrow, Andrew.”

  I bid them farewell as they all left, one after the other. Eventually Oliver headed off to bed, and it was just Ruth, Bella and I left.

  Ruth slowly stood up as she looked around the room, “Let's… Let's get a blanket for you, Andrew.”

  I laughed, “What is it with you people needing blankets in a 22 Celsius room?”

  Bella chuckled, “She doesn't know, Andrew. Don't mock her kindness.”

  Ruth looked at Bella, “What don't I know?... Did I say something wrong?”

  Bella smiled, “Andrew's slept more nights on the side of the street than you've had hot dinners.”

  She quickly turned to face me, “Oh my God... That's terrible!”

  I shrugged, “It was what it was. I didn't mope about it then and I'm not going to mope about it now.”

  She seemed confused, “Surely you can't sleep without a blanket though?!”

  AI spoke, “He did so easily throughout the week Aisling and Nadia stayed. Ruth, do not worry about Andrew, he is remarkably tough.”

  Ruth looked deeply concerned, “... Now I feel bad for sleeping in his bed…”

  Bella stood up and hugged Ruth from behind, “You forget that I knew him back then. I mean it when I say, he was one of the toughest street rats I or anyone else knew. If anything, this sofa must be luxurious to him.”

  I excitedly gestured at Bella, “Exactly! This is literally luxury! Dry, warm and the sofa is so soft… What more could I possibly ask for?”

  Bella pulled Ruth away and they both said goodnight. I sat on the sofa, looking at AI. She smiled at me with her gorgeous smile.

  She asked, “So now that your biggest concerns have been laid to rest. I wonder, what do you want to do now? … Other than sleep.”

  I looked down at the floor as I thought about it, “I suppose training and learning. It's not exciting, but hopefully these two things will lead to something more, you know?”

  She nodded understandingly, “It will, Andrew. I just want you to know, I am proud of how far you have come and of how much you have done. It has been a privilege to watch your journey.”

  I looked at her with deep respect, “With friends like you, nothing can bring me down. No matter the challenges, you always have my back. Thanks AI.”

  She nodded, “Thank you as well, Andrew. Now go to sleep and do not rush to wake up… You have all the time you need.”

  The TV turned off and the living room light turned off. I lay down on the sofa, thinking casually about today, and I fell asleep shortly after.