Z Day +39

  SHAE

  I left the room once I knew James was asleep. As much as he worried about separating from me, I now had this…need to be with him and make sure he was OK. I had been taught how the new vampire felt but hadn’t been told about the maker’s feelings.

  I found myself lingering in the doorway again and forced myself to leave. I’d never had a child when I was human, but I think this is what that probably would have felt like—this uncontrollable urge to protect.

  I found Miria a minute later in the kitchen. Mark was with her.

  “What happened?” Miria started as soon as I rounded the corner.

  “Everything is OK now,” I tried, putting both my hands out in front of me defensively. Luckily, I’d managed to clean myself up before we got home. I didn’t think walking into the house blood-stained would have set the best tone. I glanced at Mark.

  Miria, bless her, picked up on my glance immediately and stood from the table. She nodded to the door and led me back to her and Richard’s room.

  “Uh, bye?” Mark said.

  I nodded at him with a somber expression that made him look down.

  Richard was still on the roof when Miria closed the door, leaving us alone. She sat on the bed and crossed her arms.

  I’d been trying to devise how to say this, but every time I started to say something, it would die on my lips.

  “Just tell me,” Miria said after my indecision.

  “OK,” I started, “the truth.” I started pacing. I still didn’t understand why I was always nervous around her. I guess it was because she was the only family he had. I didn’t know. I had started chewing on my lip out of nervous habit when she spoke again.

  “Sit down. I’m getting whiplash from watching you pace.” Her voice was soft and patient as she patted the bed beside her.

  I sat down but couldn’t bring myself to look her in the eye.

  “OK,” I tried again, “first off, he’s fine.” I thought about it and changed my mind. “Sort of. I mean, he’s still him and OK. Look, he’s a vampire now, all the way.”

  She nodded at me, no expression on her face, which prompted me to continue.

  “He was dying,” I started and then began to go through the incident again. “I tried the drugs they gave me in San Antonio, but they didn’t work on him.” I hadn’t noticed my hands were shaking. “Then his heart stopped. I managed to get it going that time, but I couldn’t get him to come back the second time.” I was starting to fall apart again and sniffled to try and keep myself together. Apparently, there was a lot I was suppressing as well.

  Miria hissed as she jerked her hand away from my arm. I hadn’t realized she had reached out to me. “You’re burning up!” she said

  “Yeah…” I started. “Making James took everything I had twice over. I had to bleed a cow in order to bring him back. There was more than either of us could use, and I didn’t want any to go to waste, so I gorged.” I shrugged. “On the plus side, I won’t need to tap anyone here for a while.”

  “You do what you have to. I need you to take care of that moron, now more than ever. And I don’t have the first idea of what he’ll need. But I do know if you don’t take care of yourself, he will shatter again,” she said forcefully.

  I reached out and sensed James was still asleep and relaxed a little bit.

  “Now,” Miria said calmly, “tell me everything.”

  “Do you want to know everything?” I asked.

  “Yes, everything,” Miria said.

  “For you, I will,” I said. “But…there are some things that no one else needs to know. Things James doesn’t need other people to know. Can you understand? You’re family, so you deserve—”

  “Just tell me,” Miria said impatiently.

  I did. I went through all the previous minor incidents where his withdrawal showed through; she hadn’t a clue. She had thought his drinking blood had taken care of everything. I talked about San Antonio, what Travis told me about stage three, and the custom serums. Then I told her about tonight. About how he’d gone out of his mind entirely, and it resulted in his death and resurrection.

  “He was never suicidal,” Miria said softly. “He’d mentioned he’d had his gun taken away once while in the military because a shrink had asked him if he ever thought about suicide. He’d said yes, but everyone has thought about suicide. My saying the word makes you think about it. They just worded the question wrong. James hadn’t made plans or considered it as a path.”

  “That does sound like him,” I said quietly. “And that’s exactly why no one else needs to know about that part. Does that make sense?”

  Sighing, “Yeah. I understand. But he really didn’t do anything,” Miria said.

  “You know that, and I know that, but it will take some time for him to accept it,” I said.

  “He can be thick,” Miria said.

  “You got that right,” I agreed.

  It was quiet between us.

  “Why didn’t you do it sooner?” Miria asked.

  “Turn him?” I rubbed my eyes; I was tired. The change had taken a lot more out of me than I thought. Even with all the blood, I was exhausted. “It doesn’t always work. Sometimes, they don’t come back. Sometimes, when they do, they’re not themselves anymore. It’s almost like something else comes back in their place. I wasn’t going to take that chance, so I didn’t even offer it to him.”

  “Why is it so hard for you to accept your feelings about him?” Miria asked.

  I groaned. “You too?”

  “It just seems so obvious to the rest of us; why is it so hard for you to accept that you care about him?” Miria said.

  “You don’t understand everything involved,” I tried.

  “Then explain it to me.”

  “I don’t understand everything myself,” I said.

  “You must admit, I’ve been very patient with you. Give me something to work with, Shae.” Miria insisted.

  And that was it. I understood why I was so worried about her approval. There wasn’t much of a memory there; it was a confusing jumble of images and words. “Did you know your mom threatened to have me arrested once?” I spoke as the memory flashed through my mind.

  Miria looked confused by the sudden change of topic.

  “It was…back when we were dating?” I held onto the evasive memory, trying to coax it forward. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but I hadn’t been able to hang on to any of the others before.

  “I’d come over to pick him up to take him somewhere. She’d met me at the door as he was getting ready, and your mom threatened me because of our age difference. I think she meant it as a joke, but nothing your mom ever said could be taken at face value.” I looked up into Miria’s eyes. “I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out why I’m so scared of you.”

  “Scared of me?” Miria asked.

  “Yes. When it comes to him, I worry about what you’ll think, what you’ll say, what you’ll think of me. It’s because you remind me of how she was so protective of him. You’re the same, just in your own way,” I said.

  Miria looked at me with a passive expression I couldn’t read.

  “Just like that. I have no idea what you’re thinking, and it worries me,” I said honestly.

  “I think you’re stalling,” she said flatly.

  She was right. “Yeah. The thing with me is that someone messed with my mind all those years ago. They muddled up my memories, made me forget things, and changed other memories. They made me forget James, which is why I disappeared.”

  “They can do that?” Miria’s visage cracked slightly.

  “My world isn’t a particularly nice one. There are a lot of ruthless and amoral people out there who have real power. Some are from other times and cultures and don’t respect other people. They refuse to come into modern times and want to remain in the distant past.”

  “So what? You lost those memories from back then. You’ve been with him for weeks now. What’s wrong with the new memories?” Miria asked.

  “Nothing. I care for him, but how intensely he feels for me...it’s overwhelming and scary,” I said.

  “You have no idea how much he cares for you, Shae; you weren’t here back then,” Miria said.

  “But that’s just it; I do know how much. We’ve shared minds. I’ve actually experienced his love through his eyes, and it terrifies me,” I said.

  “Why?” Miria asked.

  “Because I’ve never felt anything like that in my life. I’ve never had anyone feel that way about me. It’s too big. Maybe if I had all those old memories, I’d understand it better, be able to accept it.” A yawn interrupted me. “Sorry.”

  “You need to rest,” she said quietly. “Me too, for that matter. But I want you to think about something. Finding someone in this world who cares about you is hard. Finding someone who has gone through what he has and still loves you so unconditionally that’s damn near impossible. Most would turn bitter, let the memories sour, or worse. But every time he sees you, I watch his eyes light up like he was that high school kid all over again. You need to appreciate that, if nothing else. Especially now that our world has gotten so much smaller,” Miria said.

  “Now, get some rest. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like death,” Miria said.

  “You’re too kind,” I said, rising unsteadily to my feet.

  “You’re not planning on going anywhere this time, are you?” Miria stopped me.

  “No. As a matter of fact, we’re going to do something foolish to try and get my memories back,” I offered.

  “Sounds like something James came up with.”

  I nodded. “You OK?” I asked.

  “I’m good. Go deal with our little vampling,” Miria said.

  “What are you going to tell everyone else?” I asked.

  Miria sighed. “I’ll tell them he had an accident, which is true. The chemicals from the serums he was taking ended up killing him unexpectedly, which is also true. And that you saved his life by turning him into a vampire.” She looked at me and let a small smile escape. “Also true.”

  I didn’t trust myself to speak.

  “Is there anything we should be worried about when it comes to him right now?” Miria was back to being serious.

  “No. None of that fictional stuff about blood-crazy new vampires is true. He’s just as sane as I am,” I said.

  “I’ll take that for what it’s worth,” Miria said flatly.

  I chuckled, shaking my head. “So much like your mother.”

  “Thanks,” Miria said, turning away.

  When I got back to the room, James hadn’t moved. I curled up with him and fell asleep, listening to his breathing.

  I woke a few hours later, and he was still out cold. He didn’t even stir when I slid out of bed.

  I showered, trying to get the dirt and grime out of my hair from last night. Luckily, we’d scrounged a small generator from one of the houses we ransacked. It couldn’t handle the whole house, but it did keep a few essentials like the water pump and water heater going. Afterward, I combed my hair with my fingers and let it air dry.

  Miria and Mark were in the kitchen when I walked in, giving me a strange feeling of déjà vu from last night. “Y’all know anyone who cuts hair?” I said, frowning at the tips of my wet hair.

  “No,” they said in unison.

  “We’re gonna have to either find someone or a book or something.” I sat down at the table. “Sorry about last night, Mark. Didn’t mean to be rude.”

  “It’s OK. Miria told us what y’all talked about,” Mark said.

  “And?” I said.

  “It’s crazy. But I’m glad he’s OK,” Mark said.

  “That makes two of us.” I gave him a genuine smile.

  “Welp, I’m off to guard duty. Later.” And Mark was gone.

  Miria yawned. “I gotta get some sleep; something kept me up all night.”

  “You haven’t slept yet?” I asked.

  “No, couldn’t. Too many things running through my mind,” Miria said as she stood up and made for the door.

  “Oh,” was all I could manage.

  “Uh, James?” Miria was standing in the kitchen doorway, looking out into the courtyard with a shocked expression.

  ∞?∞

  JAMES

  I woke up some time later to the sounds of the house. I could hear everything: a mishmash of heartbeats, dishes clinking, and chairs creaking. I could also hear footsteps, the wind blowing, and someone’s breath as they snored lightly.

  I stood up and stretched. Nothing creaked, nothing popped, and nothing ached. None of my old scars and wounds bothered me. I rotated my right shoulder, amazed there was no strain in it. I’d had surgery for some damage a while back, and while it didn’t hurt afterward, it never felt right. I used to be able to tell when the weather was changing just by how my shoulder felt. Not anymore, I imagined. I felt terrific.

  I slipped out of the room and into the courtyard, where the sun was just clearing the lip of the courtyard. Basking in the sun’s morning light as it came streaming into the courtyard, it was warm on my skin and tingled slightly. It was amazing how sensitive I was and how much I could feel.

  “Uh, James?” Miria said from the doorway to the kitchen.

  “You finally up, you lazy—” Shae’s sentence cut off as she saw me and froze.

  Dust motes sparkled in the air, swirling around me in the sunlight. I looked at the two girls and said, “This feels nice.”

  *STEP OUT OF THE SUNLIGHT!* Shae’s command in my head was undeniable. I stepped away from the sunbeams, and Shae was there, touching my chest and face, examining me for damage.

  “I’m OK, really. I feel great.” My mind still hadn’t caught on to what Shae was worried about.

  “I thought,” Miria began, “you said he was a vampire now.” She was shaking her head.

  “He is.” Shae turned me around, examining my bare back. “He’s supposed to be.”

  Then I caught on, “The sun.”

  “Yeah, eejit, the sun,” Shae said in a “duh” tone.

  I automatically reached for the light, but Shae yanked my arm back. “What are you doing?”

  “Seeing if it was a fluke.” I shrugged off her hand and put mine back into the light. Aside from me setting the dust motes dancing again, nothing happened.

  “I don’t...” Shae began, reaching her hand out to mine. As soon as her skin touched the sunlight, it began to smoke. I yanked her hand back before she could.

  “Wow,” Miria said. “That was fast.”

  I wasn’t sure if she meant Shae’s skin starting to burn or my yanking her hand back.

  “You don’t burn.” Shae’s voice was awestruck.

  “I’m like Wesley Snipes in that vampire movie, a day—”

  “No,” Shae said firmly.

  “Aww, come on, it’s cool,” I whined like a child.

  “What are you, like 12? There is no way I’m calling you…that. You have no idea the amount of ridicule that movie received in my circles. Even if the comic was pretty good,” Shae said.

  *Fine,* I huffed. *But that movie was cool.*

  *Aloud,* Shae chided.

  “Fine,” I huffed again.

  “We’ve never, NEVER had anyone able to do that without the skin treatment,” Shae said.

  “Apparently,” I strutted, “I’m special.”

  “Yeah,” Miria chimed in, “so special you’re destined to be cared for by the state.”

  “Zip it you,” I shot back.

  “How are you really?” Miria had come over to stand by me, her arms crossed. She looked as if she wanted to touch me but was afraid to.

  I held out my hands. “I’m fine, really. At least I feel fine.” I looked at Shae, *Am I fine?* When she nodded, I gently took Miria’s hands in mine and brought them to my face.

  “You’re warm,” Miria said, keeping her hands on my face as I lowered my arms.

  “He’ll be that way for a while. As time passes, his body will absorb all the blood from last night; then, he’ll cool a bit. The more blood he ingests, the warmer he’ll be,” Shae explained.

  “So odd.” Miria stroked my cheek and ran her hands through my short hair. “You don’t look any different.”

  “It takes time,” Shae interjected. “As his body...adjusts, it will make some changes. It may take a few weeks before the subtle ones become noticeable. I can already tell his throat has changed, his cheekbones are slightly higher, and his chest has tightened up a bit.” She seemed to squirm with that last part.

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

  *Can you blush?* I asked.

  *When I have enough blood,* Shae replied.

  “I can still see it,” I said to Shae.

  “Wow, your voice is different. I hadn’t noticed before,” Miria said as she pulled her hands back.

  I shrugged.

  “Shae tells me you’re planning a trip back into town,” Miria said.

  “We need to do some planning first, but yeah, we need to go,” I said.

  She nodded at me. “I might have something for you when you go. Something for you to do that is.”

  “A honey-do? What do you need, bread and milk?” I joked.

  “No, I’ll let you know,” Miria said.

  I nodded. “Just let me know; I’ll see what we can do.”

  Miria looked like she wanted to hug me but thought better of it and nodded instead. She headed towards the back of the house.

  *Is she scared of me?* I mentally asked Shae.

  *A little bit,* Shae said. *It’s normal; everyone fears what they don’t understand. Give her enough time, don’t do anything too scary, and she’ll get used to it.* Shae paused a moment. *Even now, you still surprise me.*

  *What? Oh, the sunlight thing. It’s not like it’s a talent. I wonder if it has anything to do with the drugs,* I rambled.

  *That has to be it. There’s no other plausible explanation. Now, come sit down; we’ve got a lot to discuss.*

  *Did you sleep?* I asked as we made our way to the kitchen table.

  *Enough,* but the tired expression contradicted that statement. *I’m fine,* she soothed, *Really.*

  We sat at the table before she began.

  *OK, some of this you may know, some you may not, so bear with me,* Shae started. *First off, food. Stop eating normal food. Strictly blood for a while until your system fully adjusts. Once it settles, you’ll be able to eat human food if you really want to.*

  *Why wouldn’t I?* I asked.

  *There are no waste products when you’re on a strict blood diet. Your body absorbs 100% of the blood. Meaning you don’t have to use the bathroom, ever,* she said.

  I thought about that for a while. *Handy.*

  *One of two things will happen if you start eating human food. Either you’ll have enough blood in your system that your body will pass it the old-fashioned way, or if there’s not enough blood, you’ll have to get it out of your stomach the hard way,* she stuck her finger in her mouth and mimed gagging.

  *Charming,* I mumbled. I wondered if I could mumble telepathically.

  *Yes,* Shae confirmed.

  *Wait, you heard that, too?* I asked incredulously.

  *Yup, say goodbye to privacy. Your every thought is now available for my perusal,* she grinned evilly.

  Through no conscious action of my own, at least that’s my story, my mind automatically thought of some of the more embarrassing thoughts and fantasies I’d had. I then realized what I’d done and prayed she hadn’t picked up on that either.

  Shae gently put her hand on the side of my face. *If you think of something I’ve never thought of trying, I’ll give you five bucks. Relax. Let that be a valuable lesson in mind control. All you have to do is tell someone not to think of something, and they think of it. Like if I told you not to think of rainbows.*

  I automatically pictured a rainbow in my head.

  *You think of rainbows,* Shae mentally held her hands out in a “there you go” fashion.

  *Sounds like fun,* I grinned.

  *Great at parties,* she smiled.

  I loved her smile and the way her eyes crinkled just a little bit. Then, there was the barest hint of her dimples. Oh, how I’d missed her dimples. *So, don’t think about...*

  *Later.* She patted my cheek. *Right now, school’s in.* She ran her fingers through her hair and sat up straighter. *OK. So, you know about sunlight. It’s lethal to us, well, all the rest of us. You freak,* she added. *I told you about our eating habits.*

  *Not entirely,* I interjected. *You told me what we eat, but not the how of it.*

  *I was trying not to scare you off just yet,* she said.

  *I can handle it,* I jutted out my chin defiantly.

  *You can knock off the tough guy act; I’ve seen just how strong you can be,* she said.

  *Not everything,* I muttered, trying hard not to think of my darker side and the things I’d seen and done.

  *Why do you keep thinking about that “hang in there kitty” poster? The one with the kitten hanging out of a tree?* She cocked her head at me.

  *Just curious if it could block...certain...things,* I said honestly.

  She sighed. *Our minds aren’t a constant two-way street. I won’t hear every last thing that pops into your head. Only when I’m actively listening or you “scream” it out. You really do have some privacy, and I usually don’t go where I’m not invited.*

  *Sounds like a line I used to use on girls,* I said.

  *And how’d that work out for you?* she said.

  *Not one accusation of sexual harassment or a rape charge,* I said proudly.

  *Something to aspire to, nice for you. So, feeding. We don’t have this raging bloodlust like you read about in so much fan fiction. Food is just food. When you’re hungry, you want food. It will not cause you to lose your mind and go on a killing rampage. If you go too long without feeding, it will affect your body. The more blood in our systems, the closer to human we seem. The less blood, the slower we get and the closer to corpses we become.*

  *What happens if you…er, we run out of blood?* I asked.

  *You become a corpse,* she said flatly.

  *You die?* I said.

  *No, you already died to become this.* She waved her hands down my body. *Whatever sustains us keeps working even if we run out of gas. You saw this when your blood poisoned me. You remain semi-conscious but don’t experience the real world; it’s more like a dream state. Your body stops, and the mind keeps crawling along. I’ve heard stories of those who went mad because they were out too long. Having experienced it myself now, I believe it. The little time I was out felt like an eternity.*

  *Too long?* I asked.

  *As soon as your body gets blood again, it returns to “normal,”* she said. *That’s the only time a bit of bloodlust comes into play, just be aware of that.*

  *So, its kinda like those Underworld movies?* I asked.

  *Yeah, kind of. They stole that from us. Do you relate everything to movies?* she asked.

  *Well, yeah. I grew up on movies. There sure seem to be a lot of them that kinda sorta got it right, though,* I said.

  *There’s a reason for that,* Shae smiled. *We’ve got folks in Hollywood, just like we have folks in the government, that keep an eye on the state of “fiction.” When it starts to get too close to the truth, people are nudged to change it. Or the story is bought and radically changed. Or the ratings board comes down on them for being inappropriate. It was a devilishly good idea to create that ratings board. You can control most aspects of a movie by threatening to give it an “R” or “X” rating. Anyway, we try to keep the ords fat and happy.

  *Ords?* I asked.

  *Ordinary folks,* she said.

  *Were you conscious? You know, during the poisoning?* I asked.

  *When I drained myself? Yeah, I think so. It was really odd, like being in a sensory deprivation tank. Anyway, back to blood. We need about a pint a week to maintain a normal healthy system. Less than that, we start to feel like we are coming down with a cold. More than that, we can get a bit of a “high.”*

  I guess she saw the question starting to form in my mind and continued.

  *Some gorge on blood. It does make them stronger and faster. They heal quicker, but it also speeds up bodily processes as well. Not only does your body burn through blood faster, making you need to “top off” sooner, but it can speed up the brain. It fires quicker than the body can handle. It’s kind of like having the worst case of ADHD you could imagine. Some folks burn out, literally frying parts of their brain, and either they’re never the same or go nuts and have to be put down.

  *So, stick to a pint a week,* Shae continued. *A human needs six to eight weeks to recover that pint of blood. So, you can’t survive on one single person indefinitely.*

  *Tap boys,* I said.

  *Got it in one,* she nodded.

  *Wait. How have you—* I started.

  *Been surviving since we’ve been here? Rationing. Haven’t you noticed I was never warm? I’ve been an ice princess for some time now,* she said.

  *But, doesn’t that—*

  *Hurt?* she finished my sentence for me.

  *Please stop doing that,* I said.

  She smiled at me. *No, it doesn’t hurt running low on blood. Like I said, it will start to feel like you’re coming down with a cold if you go too low. I’ve been hovering right above that.*

  *Which explains why you’ve—* I tried to finish a sentence on my own and failed yet again.

  *Had a couple of bad spells? Sorry, this level of communication is new for me as well. But yes, when I’ve overextended myself, it’s come back and bit me, pun intended. So, take my experiences to heart. Hmmm, we’ve already covered how we die; it's pretty simple.*

  *Is there like a ruling body or something?* I asked, my mind randomly firing questions.

  She shook her head. *I swear to the Goddess, if I ever get my hands on that woman, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind. No, no big Italian mafia types are trying to lord over everyone. It's much, much simpler than that. Territory rulers. Vampires who’ve staked a claim in an area and managed to keep their claim either by force, loyalty, or service.

  *We do have ‘the council,’ but they’re not a ruling body,* Shae continued. *They’re more like…the U.N. They do a lot of talking about the state of affairs in the world but don’t really do anything on their own.

  *There are also vast areas of unclaimed land vampires live in,* Shae said. *But if you enter a claimed area, you are expected to abide by their rules. If you don’t like them, don’t go there or face the consequences.*

  *How do people know when they enter territories?* I asked.

  *There is a network out there now, thanks to the Internet. Or at least you used to be able to look up the rules online for where you were going. The larger kingdoms correspond with each other, keeping up relations and treaties by sending couriers. These intermediaries carry messages and such of a much more personal nature than an e-mail. Plus, that was the more traditional way of doing things back in the day. Not everyone respects the old traditions. Some would rather play the sparkly vampire route.*

  *You really didn’t like those books, did you?* I said.

  *Ah, they were alright. Just too sappy for my taste. Whiney little girls don’t do it for me.*

  *But whiney little boys do?* I asked.

  *You weren’t that whiney.* She rubbed the short hair on my head. “It’s like a puppy at the beach,” she smiled.

  *Wow, now we’re into B5,* I said. *I don’t remember you being so nerdy back in the day.*

  *I’m diversified; I like a little bit of everything. Anyway, we can’t have children either.* She rolled her eyes. *We died to get this way. No matter how much blood we drink, we don't produce anything living. We can still produce fluids if we’re good and full. The body needs them to make everything work like “normal,” but there’s nothing really in them.*

  *How, exactly, did you make me?* I asked.

  She shook her head. *Nope, you’re not allowed to know that for quite a while. Tradition, that one, and I’m nothing if not a traditional girl,* she slapped me when I scoffed.

  *Be nice. Let’s see; there are no animal or mist transformations, as far as I’ve heard. No direct mind control, well, not to those who aren’t your creation or bloodbound. You can influence people through bloodtouching, but that’s only by getting into their heads and playing their minds against them. Does that make sense? Good. We heal pretty fast. It's not Deadpool fast, but it's still pretty quick. Serious cuts that would require stitching will heal in a few hours. Limbs take a few days.*

  *Limbs?* I said.

  *Yeah, you do NOT want to go through that. Believe me, it’s not worth it. If someone does lop your arm off, do not try to put it back on. It’s nearly impossible to get it to heal properly, and you’ll probably end up having to chop it off again to try and fix it,* she said morosely.

  I shook my head, not believing we were talking about this sort of thing.

  Mark walked into the kitchen just then. “Hey guys.”

  *Hey,* I said.

  *Aloud,* Shae corrected me.

  “Er, howdy,” I managed. As I watched him go to the pantry to rummage around.

  *Hmmm, all our senses are different now. They are more sensitive than humans. My voice, for instance, it sounds different now than it did before, doesn’t it?* Shae said.

  *I just thought it was a trick of my mind, but yes. It’s clearer somehow; I hear more of the sound, like the depth and pitch. It’s like all those controls you don’t use on your stereo. The only ones you really cared about were bass, maybe treble, and balance. The other twelve, you never messed with. But now I can hear all 15, all at the same time. Sight too,* I answered, seeing the question in her head before she asked it. *It’s like going from a black and white TV with bunny ears to a 4K TV where you can count the number of clogged pores on a news reporter’s face. It's overwhelming,* I said.

  *Sight’s not so bad; it’s the hearing that takes practice.* Shae said. *It’s not something you can just shut off, like closing your eyes or holding your breath. You will have to practice tuning out the “background noise” so you can focus on one person. I’ll show you how. Of course, you’ve already discovered taste is drastically different. You’ll soon find things that were once your favorites aren’t anymore,* she said.

  *Yeah, cow blood sucks,* I nodded.

  *Ah yes, blood. Each animal, including humans, has its own taste based on numerous things. It’s all a matter of taste testing,* she said.

  *It doesn’t bother you about the human blood?* I asked.

  *Of course not; why would it? We’re not monsters. We don’t have to kill to get what we need. We can easily find those who willingly offer it up in exchange for what we can give them,* she said matter-of-factly.

  *Buy me dinner, and I’ll give up a vein?* I offered.

  *More like give me an orgasm, and I’ll do anything,* she said. *You’ll find sex can be a potent tool. Most humans will do just about anything for it.*

  I felt myself starting to blush. I wasn’t used to hearing her say anything like that.

  *Your blush is just so cute,* she grinned.

  *Shut up.* I shook my head and realized Mark was still in the room, staring at us. How long had we been talking?

  “That’s just creepy,” Mark said.

  *What’s that?* “What’s that?” I corrected.

  *Nice catch,* Shae said.

  I wondered if you could mentally frown at someone.

  *Yes, but don’t. It looks funny,* she chuckled once.

  “Y’all were just sitting there staring at one another, not moving or even blinking for minutes. It was weird. Y’all OK?” Mark asked.

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “Just trying to get used to it.”

  “Yeah, Miria told us about the whole vampire thing. Sorry bout that dude,” Mark said.

  I stared at him a moment. “Sorry bout that dude?”

  He nodded, munching on some crackers. “I mean, it’s not that crazy when you think about it.” When I just stared at him, he continued. “We got zombies wandering around now. I think that’s much creepier than vampires. I hope there are werewolves out there too.”

  “No, you don’t,” Shae chimed in, causing Mark to stare at her.

  *Are there werewolves?* I asked.

  *No idea,* she smiled.

  “OoooKkkkk then. I’m just gonna...go...somewhere else,” Mark said as he made his escape.

  *I really do like him,* Shae stared after him. *And he tastes good too.*

  *TMI lady,* I said.

  *What? It’s not my fault you have good taste in friends,* she teased.

  I groaned. *Somebody kill me again.*

  *Not a chance.* There was a weird spark in her eye. *You’re all mine now.*

  *Again, with the hot and cold,* I chided.

  *Just go with it,* she said, leaning forward and kissing me on the lips.

  After a moment, I asked, *Can vampires be bi-polar?*

  She slapped me lightly and got up.

  *Was that a yes or a no?* I asked.

  *I like the Bi part, but I'm not too fond of the cold.* She walked out of the room before I could pick my mental jaw up off the floor.

  *No-no-no, you can’t say something like that and just leave.* I stood up to follow her.

  *I just did,* she said in a sing-song voice.

  I spent the rest of the day adjusting to my new nature. That and snoozing on and off. I kept going from incredibly hyper to exhausted. My brain just didn’t know what it should be doing and my body couldn’t figure it out either.

  *We’ve got watch, so shake a leg,* Shae said just past dusk.

  *I don’t have watch until tomorrow,* I said.

  *Try again; you’re on night watch now,* she said.

  I groaned. *Back on mid-shift, ugh.* I used to hate working the midnight shift.

  *And it’s my watch; you’re staying up with me,* she said.

  *But…* I tried.

  *Come along, young Padawan. You have much to learn of the ways of the Force,* she said in a low, deep voice.

  *Did you...just quote Star Wars?* I asked.

  *Suck it up, princess, I don’t want to be late,* she said.

  Sometime later, we were sitting on the roof in the dark. The house had gone quiet an hour ago as the last person went to bed. The flip-flopping of hours seemed to make everyone more tired than usual. We were trying to figure out a new schedule to create a routine for everyone, but I was throwing a wrench in that.

  *It’s quiet tonight,* Shae chimed in.

  Her thought startled me. We were sitting on opposite sides of the house, allowing me to practice with my various senses. We’d already run through several exercises, me identifying people by their breathing. Finding zombies by sound, occasionally smell. I wasn’t so good with smell, it seemed, except when it came to Shae. She could shut her body down to near silent and hold so still she blended into the background, but that light jasmine smell gave her away every time. I couldn’t remember if it had always been there or not. But now, I could follow my nose to her every time.

  *How do you think the others are doing?* I asked.

  *What do you mean?* she said.

  *I mean, how are they holding up? You and I have been out and about a lot compared to the rest. They’ve all been confined to the house except for the occasional training op,* I said.

  *Oh, they’ve been out. They make the occasional scrounging trip. They don’t go too far, but they’ve been out enough that they are gaining some confidence,* Shae said.

  *Most are still worried about their families. But it’s not like they can hop on a plane and go check on them. They know they need to stay put, so they hope for the best. But we may want to dig up some board games or something. They were all used to the constant barrage of input from TV and movies. Without that, they’re having to learn how to interact with each other again. In the long run, it’ll be a good thing,* Shae said.

  *Yup, spin the whole zombie apocalypse to mean we’ll be getting to know our neighbors again,* I said.

  *It’s true,* Shae said.

  I nodded silently.

  *You finally going to tell me what’s wrong?* she asked.

  *I can’t really keep anything from you, can I?* I said.

  *Even before this, I would have been able to tell something was bothering you,* she said. *Spill it.*

  Sighing, *it...it’s about when I…died.* I still felt weird saying it. I didn’t think it had really sunk in yet.

  *Oh?* she asked.

  *Yeah. Do you remember when you died?* I asked.

  *That…was a long time ago,* she shook her head.

  *Do you remember anything? Lights, music, voices, anything?* I asked.

  She was sitting next to me now. I’d heard her coming, but she surprised me with how fast she was. I wondered if I’d ever get that fast. Her arm snaked around my shoulders. *What is it?*

  I sighed, took another breath, and blew that one out too.

  *I saw something. Something I don’t understand,* I said slowly.

  She nodded, squeezing me a little tighter.

  *They say you see your life flash before your eyes. You see your loved ones or a light at the end of the tunnel, but I didn’t see any of that,* I shook my head. My thoughts were fuzzy, like trying to remember a dream the morning after.

  *What did you see?* she asked, and I could feel the concern coming from her.

  *Don’t laugh, OK?* I said.

  *Now, you’ve piqued my interest.* She put her head on my shoulder, looking away from me, trying to make it easier.

  *Do you know what the BSOD is? The blue screen of death? No? It’s an error screen you sometimes see on a computer when it crashes. It completely locks the machine up, and you have to unplug and restart it to try and get it to clear.*

  *You saw a computer?* she asked.

  *No...well, not really. I saw a big blue screen, like that was all I could see, a blue screen. There was writing all over it, but I didn’t recognize any of it.* I was fighting to remember and the memory was slipping away faster now. *Then there was a girl, not a real person, but animated, like one of those Japanese cartoons. She just looked at me and wagged her finger like she was trying to get me to stop doing something. Next thing I knew, she’s gone, along with all the weird writing. Then the words ‘loading v.5.0’ flashed and I woke up,* I was sweating by the time I got to the end of that memory. I was sure there was more, but I’d already lost it.

  *So...* Shae started slowly, *your version of heaven was a hentai website?*

  I frowned. *Seriously?*

  *I don’t know James. When I died, we didn’t have computers, or anime for that matter. There might have been some flashes of light, but it was so long ago.* Shae looked up at me. *This just happened to you and look how hard it is for you to remember,* she said.

  *I’ve never been very religious, but I was hoping maybe I’d get to find out one way or the other when I died,* I said.

  *Maybe your version of heaven is a cute blue-haired anime girl. Or it might be Hell; you did say she was scolding you. Was she wearing leather?*

  I could tell she knew I was being serious, a little too serious for her taste.

  *Listen, the brain is a seriously complicated organ. What you saw might not have been an afterlife experience but a random firing in your brain. You may never know. Try not to let it get you down because, regardless, there’s nothing you can do about it, so don’t worry.*

  *Be happy?* I managed.

  She squeezed me again. *Yes, sir.*

  I was glad I got it off my chest. I may not have gotten any closure on the event, but at least I had shared it. I hoped now it would go away. I had enough to worry about as it was.

  *Do you believe in God?* I asked, suddenly remembering something. *I heard you mention the Goddess before.*

  *I’ve believed in a few things over the years, but I wasn’t a big Catholic schoolgirl,* Shae started and then slapped me upside the head. *Yes, I do have that outfit, and for that rude thought, no, you can’t see it.* She grinned.

  *With everything I’ve done and seen, I believe there is more going on than we can explain. I don’t know exactly what is doing what, but I do feel there are higher powers at work. Do I think that one religion is right over another? No. I had a friend from Japan once explain it to me like this: ‘Everyone is on their own path, whether Christian, Hebrew, Shinto, Buddhist, etc. But all these paths lead to the same destination, no matter what you call it.’ I like that idea. Kind of like the Vorlons, just without the whole space aliens thing. Besides, given enough years, a deity’s name and values tend to change. Trust me, I’ve seen it.*

  *That’s like three sci-fi references tonight. Your true geek is showing luv,* I ribbed her. *I don’t remember you being so into sci-fi.*

  *That’s what happens when you have way too much free time on your hands,* she said. *I had little to do when I moved into the Austin compound. I wasn’t a courier anymore. I didn’t go anywhere or have any responsibilities.*

  *What did you do?* I asked.

  Shae hesitated, *I was basically a trophy wife to Pagoda.*

  We were both quite a moment.

  *But that took up so little of my time I had to find something to keep myself from going insane,* Shae said. *Sci-fi filled in a big chunk of time for me. Escaping to far-off lands, dreaming of a better future. Who wouldn’t enjoy that?* she smiled.

  *Sounds like it was just what you needed at the time,* I said before coming back to the topic at hand. *Well, I believe there’s something out there as well, but I don’t think we have the…words to properly describe or understand it. Which is one of the reasons I absolutely hate church dogma.*

  *Great movie,* she nodded.

  *True, Kevin Smith’s a genius. But I can’t see how a collection of stories penned by humans, then translated multiple times over a couple thousand years, could remain true to the original, even if the original was true.* I frowned. *Sorry, that thought kinda got away from me. Don’t even get me started on the council of Nicaea,* I said.

  *I just don’t like someone coming between me and what I want to worship. I don’t think God is a man, a woman, or anything that has sexes to begin with. I don’t think I have to go to one place to talk to a deity, pray a certain way, or even act a certain way. If they are truly all-powerful and all-knowing, then they already know all my faults. Why should I feel bad about who I am?* I shook my head. *OK, again, I’m rambling.*

  *You have no idea how glad I am that I can read your mind. Had I just heard the words, I’d have no clue. But because I could read the thoughts behind the words, I understand and can agree with you for the most part,* she smiled.

  *The main thing is, I can accept how you want to worship without feeling it’s an affront to my beliefs or feeling I need to change you. I’m comfortable with what I am and you can do your own thing. I don’t care as long as you don’t try to bother me. If more people stopped getting so angry and realize what really matters we wouldn’t have so many problems in the world,* she said.

  I nodded. *I still prefer some of the D&D goddesses though...soooooo hot!* I chimed in.

  *Ugh. Male whoremones. I wasn’t ready for that,* she shuddered. *That’s going to take some getting used to. Seriously, with everything going on, you’ve thought about sex at least six times in the last hour. They say the only thing guys think about is sex, but I didn’t really believe it till now,* she rolled her eyes.

  *Tell me about it. You think hearing it is bad. Try living with it,* I said.

  *Seriously? Every time you see a woman one of the first things you think about is if you can sleep with them or not?* she said.

  *It’s not as cool as it sounds. Honestly, I'm not too fond of that part of me sometimes. My brain automatically goes to these places and thinks these things. I have to mentally slap myself around to get my brain to knock it off. I used to worry that one of these times, the person I was thinking about would be able to read my mind and go off on me. Guess that finally happened,* I chuckled.

  *You really can’t help it?* she said.

  *What guys say about ourselves is usually the truth. Sadly, we’re simple creatures at heart.* I could feel her looking deeper into my head, which made me feel a bit exposed.

  *It really does just happen?* She shook her head. *Wow.* She then looked at me sharply, *Do you...*

  *Every time I look at you. EVERY time. And I’m not one bit sorry.* I could see just the faintest touch of color on her cheeks.

  She looked at me for a minute. *Just do me a favor and try to keep it short, will ya?*

  *More with the quickies, my specialty!* I said, trying to mask my uncertainty.

  I heard her groaning in my head.

  *Are you telling me you don’t think about sleeping with people you meet?* I asked.

  *Not every single person, and it’s not my first thought,* she defended. *How’d we get to talking about this? We were talking about vampire stuff.*

  *Spoilsport,* I said.

  *Later,* she said.

  *Sure. I’ll believe it when I see it.* Then I saw the look on her face. *What? I was just teasing.*

  *No, it’s not that,* she looked puzzled. *Something you said earlier…*

  *Which part? I’ve rambled quite a bit,* I said.

  *Your death screen thingie,* her face was screwed up in concentration.

  *What about it?* I asked.

  *I…I don’t know. There’s something…* she trailed off.

  *What?*

  *That’s just it, I don’t know. There’s something there, something about what you said that…ugh. I don’t know,* she looked up at me. *You ever have that feeling where you’re talking, and suddenly you don’t know what you’re saying anymore and can’t remember what you were trying to say in the first place?* she asked.

  I looked at her. *Yeah, I’m kinda feeling that now.*

  She gave me a look. *I’m serious. It’s like having something on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t say it for the life of you.*

  *Now that I understand,* I said.

  *That’s what this feels like,* she said.

  *Well, don’t worry about it. I’m sure if it’s important enough, you’ll remember it right in the middle of sleeping or something,* I smiled.

  *Probably. Let’s get you back to your exercises,* Shae said.

  *Yeah!* my cheer was filled with mock-enthusiasm.