Chapter 11

  "Okay, I'm finished." I said with a sigh as I pushed the torn page of my notebook across the desk for Joan to review. "I numbered it, so you don't need to count each one."

  Joan took the page and inspected both the front and back. Her eyebrow raised, reminding me that despite my apologies, she was still not ready to forgive me. On the front and back of the page, written one hundred times was the phrase:

  I promise not to let all powerful eldritch deities into our safe house when Joan isn't home.

  "Did you learn your lesson?" She finally responded, seemingly satisfied that I'd done as she asked. Although Joan claimed to be a playwright, she was giving off major Catholic boarding school teacher vibes.

  "Yes." I lowered my eyes. I felt every bit like a boarding school student being punished for misbehaving.

  "Do you promise to never do something that stupid ever again?" She pressed. It took all of my willpower not to reply Yes mom, but that would have likely brought about a whole new awkward environment.

  "I promise." I should have stopped there, but my mouth didn't stop because I was an idiot. "Even if they have really nice legs..."

  "I'm going to ignore that since you're probably still dealing with the after-effects of her charm." Joan reluctantly grumbled as she crossed the room and plopped down on the couch. Her face betrayed just how uncomfortable the couch really was.

  Since Joan and Dalos had returned from their journey, I immediately recounted my meeting with Cathy. Once I'd seen her full name listen on the notification, I was able to put two and two together. I wasn't one hundred percent certain, but it was safe to assume Cathy Liu was just a pseudonym for Cthulhu. The only reason I wasn't entirely sure, was that it was almost too clever for something that god came up with.

  Even though we'd discussed the meeting, we hadn't really gone any further than summarizing the events. As soon as I finished, Joan immediately turned to rubbing my nose in my careless actions. Especially since Cathy had been able to charm me, she could have lured me out of the safety of the office. Now that I had been properly disciplined, Joan seemed to relax. I was desperate to talk about anything other than Cathy, however...

  "So what is this whole Romanceable Character thing?" Joan wasn't ready to let the topic of Cathy get swept aside so easily.

  "It's something that is common in dating games and some role play video games." I was only assuming that god's definition of Romanceable Character matched my understanding of the term. "Unlike normal NPCs, they are characters that you can date. Sometimes the goal is marriage. Sometimes it's a little less wholesome."

  "Dating games?" A look of disgust crossed her face. "Do I really want to know what they're about?"

  Her reaction wasn't surprising. She didn't have much experience with video games, so she didn't really have context. On top of that, dating games didn't have the best reputation since many people immediately thought of the less wholesome games in the genre. I remembered how people used to confuse anime and hentai before anime became fully integrated into western pop culture, and the views toward dating games seemed to be a similar misrepresentation. Personally, I didn't really have much experience with dating games outside of role play and life simulation games. Games like Stardew Valley contained basic dating mechanics, even though it wasn't the primary focus of the game.

  "I'm not going to act like there isn't a darker side to the genre, although I also don't like to kink shame." I replied. Even though I wasn't an avid dating game connoisseur, I had plenty of hobbies and interests that drew unnecessary criticism. Just like I hated being mocked for my interests, I did my best not to judge others the same way. "For the most part, they have similar overall mechanics whether its a casual inclusion in a role play game or if the entire point of the game is dating."

  Joan opened her mouth to respond, but stopped herself. I was fairly certain she had some sort of insult prepared, but she decided against it.

  "Dating games... Or technically dating sims typically revolve around increasing an affection meter, triggering event flags, and time management." I continued, pulling from my limited knowledge of the genre. "Each romanceable character has different likes and dislikes, different personality types, favorite gifts, schedules, and unique events. Once affection levels are high enough, the events would trigger and the player would have to choose the best dialogue options to move forward."

  "... And how does this factor into Cathy?" She asked. I could tell my explanation wasn't doing much to help her understand.

  "If I had to guess..." I started before taking a moment to collect my thoughts. How did this world treat romanceable characters? "We've already been told this investigation has a set time limit. I will have to do everything I can to increase her affection to maximum before we run out of time. So I'll have to figure out her character, and do what it takes to raise her impression of me."

  "You already pointed out that we have a time limit on the investigation. So we're supposed to waste our time wooing squid-girl instead of solving the case?!" Joan's response showed me that she was starting to realize why I'd been so anxious at the start of the investigation.

  The Persona video game franchise was a perfect example of time management with a dating mechanic. In the games, the player was tasked with leveling up their characters and completing dungeons, but a large portion of the games were building relationships with a wide array of characters. The days were broken into segments, certain characters only appeared at specific places on certain days, and the player had to commit to a single task for that segment of the day. If the player wanted to spend time with the girl from their class during the afternoon, the time would advance to evening and the player would lose the ability to pursue any other actions that were available during the afternoon on that day. There was always a deadline hovering over the events of the game, so a player didn't have unlimited days to accomplish certain tasks. Spending too much time focusing on growing relationships would result in being unprepared for the dungeon segments. More than anything else, the game's strategy involved deciding how to spend their time each day.

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  "That's where the time management comes into play." I sighed, feeling the pressure build the more I thought about the situation. "That god told me that the investigation can't be completed if I don't get a mystery character to fall in love with me. So we can't just focus on the investigation or Cathy, we'll have to focus on both."

  A groan escaped Joan's lips. As much as she was disheartened by the situation, I was fairly certain I felt even worse. There was a reason I never played many dating sims. When it came to the dialogue trees and social interactions, I always struggled. Without a walkthrough to tell me the correct choices, even the most basic dating sims seemed impossible. The things that were so obvious to the average person were outside of my comprehension. Even with the aid of my increased insight, I couldn't think optimistically about our chances.

  I didn't even know for certain that Cathy was the mystery woman I was supposed to romance. There was a very real possibility that god had purposefully used Cathy as a red herring to make me waste my time on an unrelated character. The real key character might be hiding in some random apartment in the city where I'd never find her.

  "But if we have her with us at all times during the investigation, wouldn't that give her every opportunity to sabotage us? Can we really trust her?" Joan continued to argue. I understood her hesitation, but in the end, if I didn't max out Cathy's affection, it wouldn't matter if we fully completed the rest of the investigation. "Not to mention still having to fight off the people coming after you. We barely survived the surprise attack by..."

  Joan's entire body stiffened on the couch as she stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes widened and immediately turned away from me. It was rare for Joan to slip up like this. Despite her obvious guilt, I didn't know what she was talking about? A surprise attack?

  Thinking back to the events since the start of the second investigation, I could only think of two possible times a surprise attack could have occurred. Either it happened during the time Joan and Dalos left me alone in the office or... It has something to do with the gap in my memories leading to waking up in the office by myself. I had a fifty-fifty chance, so I figured it was a good time to bluff.

  "That would explain the memory loss and need to sleep for a day..." I kept my eyes on Joan to see her reaction. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped herself, eventually lowering her shoulders in defeat.

  "I didn't want you to have one more thing to worry about, so when you didn't bring it up, I just decided to run with it." She continued to avert her eyes and sadly Read the Room wasn't giving me an insight notification.

  Even without the assistance of my evolved Read the Room, something didn't sit right with Joan's response. The first time I saw Joan after waking up was after meeting with Cathy. The encounter had a significant impact on our investigation, so obviously we spent a significant amount of time discussing my meeting with Cathy before anything else... But something about the situation made Joan confident I didn't remember. Because of that, she purposefully tried to avoid the conversation.

  So something about my behavior since she returned let her know that I didn't remember the conflict. Which meant that... She expected I would have addressed the surprise attack before discussing the situation with Cathy.

  If she believed I would put the contents of the surprise attack over the conversation with Cathy...

  I could feel the blood drain from my face as I finally realized the only thing that would take priority over what I'd discovered with Cathy.

  "What happened to Tara?! Is she alright?!" I don't know how it happened, but I had crossed the room and grabbed Joan's shoulders tightly. She responded with a sigh before casually removing my hands.

  "You're predictable, you know that?" If I didn't know any better, I would say that she looked disappointed by my response.

  "Please, just tell me! You can pick on me later." I continued to plead with her.

  "Nipple Ring is fine." She said coldly.

  "That's a relief..." I took a deep breath, before I processed what Joan had said. "Wait, she has pierced nipples?!"

  "Predictable..." She let out another sigh before continuing. "I made it up. I couldn't care less what she fills her bra with."

  The realization that Joan got me to expose some of my feelings toward Tara made me turn away. Hopefully Joan didn't see my embarrassment, but something told me that she was having no trouble reading me.

  Wait! Did I really think about Tara like that?

  "So, what happened in the fight?" After taking a moment to compose myself, I did my best to steer the conversation away from any feelings I may or may not have felt for Tara.

  "I had to handle most of it, you flailed around like an idiot, and Dalos reminded everyone how terrifying he is." Joan answered. As I deflated from the obvious (but most-likely accurate) jab by Joan, Dalos puffed out his little chest with pride. I patted his head as Joan continued. "I didn't see what happened, but Tara got hurt. Predictably, you dropped your guard and held her like a lovesick moron... Before you freak out again, remember I said she's fine."

  "You're sure she is?" Even though she cut me off at the pass, I still had my concerns.

  "I made sure she was okay during the time you were meeting with girlfriend number two." She replied, making sure to tease me in the process. "What will poor Tara think when she finds out you're two-timing her?"

  "It's weird for me to be saying this, but you're starting to annoy me." It didn't take my insight to see that Joan was more upset than usual about my preferential treatment toward Tara. It almost seemed like jealousy, but I doubted that. "Seriously, it's weird for me to say this too, but can we get back on topic? What happened after next, after I dropped my guard?"

  "I don't really know. It was weird." She shrugged. "You were yelling random things like a lunatic, and then you just screamed. Tara's actual boyfriend was just inches from hitting you with some sort of headbutt, except he froze in place. I was a ways away, but I rushed in, punched you in the back of the head and dragged you into the safe house before he could catch up."

  "You punched me?!" I reflexively rubbed the back of my head, but it had obviously fully healed while I slept. From what we could tell, pretty much anything would heal after enough sleep, so a simple bump was no exception.

  "No offense Clay, but if I didn't knock you out, you would have never let go of her. My priority is keeping you safe."

  Player is being honest with User.

  It was very hard to be upset with Joan when my insight told me beyond a shadow of a doubt that she prioritized my safety. I might be frustrated that she left Tara for dead, but from what she said, she went back out to confirm her health.

  Wait. Joan said something else important in her description. Something that didn't make any sense.

  I quickly summoned my journal and flipped to my abilities list to find a new skill, Cry of Desperation. After skimming through the ability, it explained why Raif's attack froze when I screamed. Joan must have been outside my range. So if I hadn't gained this ability, Raif's attack would have landed, and then...

  "So that's everything that happened?" I tried to ignore the grim revelation I'd just made.

  "Clay," Joan's expression turned even more serious than usual. "I know that we disagree about whether or not to trust Tara, but you really need to understand that she did attack you. She was a willing participant in that fight."

  Her eyes met mine, stopping any response I might have had. Dalos whimpered and nuzzled my leg as if he sensed my stress.

  "You need to be prepared to fight back. If not, she'll kill you."

  "So what should we do next? I think we should check out that speakeasy, even though it's probably a trap, it'll give me a better idea what to think about Cathy." I desperately forced a topic change. Joan might have been correct, but that didn't mean I was ready to come to terms with what she was saying. I didn't trust Tara, but I wasn't ready to concede to the possibility of hurting her.

  "I know you don't want to talk about it, but you can't avoid it forever." Joan frowned at my cowardly avoidance. "I'm only trying to keep you from getting killed."

  "You know, I've always wanted to go to a speakeasy. What about you, Joan? Doesn't it sound fun?" I continued to shamelessly deflect.

  "Fine." Joan got to her feet, frowning. "We'll go to the speakeasy."

  She walked past me, bumping my shoulder with her own. As she headed through the door, I heard her mutter something just barely audible.

  "Why can't he be that loyal to me? Did I do something wrong?"