Chapter 10

  "You want me too help you kill that god?!" I immediately clasped my hands over my mouth, realizing how loudly I'd shouted. I froze, like one of those creepy wax statues of celebrities, except even creepier-looking because it was me.

  She calmly shifted her body to a seated position on the edge of the desk. "It's okay, Melon Bread. They can't hear us. We're. All. Alone. Here."

  Compared to the sense of danger I felt when confronting Tep, this was on an entirely different level... Or maybe it was more accurate to say that it was a completely different genre of danger. The more I was in Cathy's presence, the more I understood why I needed to keep my distance from her.

  If I were to believe her words, the two of us had the same goal. But there was absolutely no reason to trust her.

  My mind raced with potential responses. I needed to find the best path forward. Even if I didn't trust her, that didn't mean I absolutely had to shut her down. Was that the best course of action? Or should I attempt to cut ties?

  "Let's entertain the idea that I want the same thing. What do you plan to do? That god is omnipotent. It's not like we can just stab them in the back, or poison their drink." My eyes locked onto hers, desperate for my Read the Room to pick up anything.

  "You are half right. I might not be able to hurt them..." Her eyes didn't waver. "But you are special. You scare them."

  "Look, I'm not sure where you got your information from, Cathy..." I found myself completely dumbfounded by Cathy's supposed faith in my strength. "But that god is not afraid of me. I'm just an annoyance getting in the way of their poorly run game. Besides, have you seen me fight? I can barely hurt weak monsters, let alone the most powerful being in existence!"

  "Oh, Moon Pie." She reached out and patted my head. Was I a pet?! "We're all afraid of you. Not just Azathoth."

  We're all afraid of you. That meant she was included in that group. So my suspicions were correct? She was one of the eldritch deities? Without Joan's help, I could only guess at her identity. No matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn't think of an eldritch deity portrayed as an attractive woman or a female seductress.

  "I highly doubt that. But just to humor you, what about me is so frightening?" Not a single fiber of my being believed any eldritch deity would fear me. If anything, I would be an annoyance. I was highly experienced at being annoying, in fact, I planned on going pro after this whole death game thing cleared up.

  The newly drafted member to the Professional Annoying League's star team, The Tangents... Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for CLAY!

  For some reason, I was only able to imagine that imaginary announcement being met with a chorus of boos. It's sad when I found it impossible to be popular even in my own fantasies.

  "Your resistances, for one." She responded, but I could tell she was being purposefully vague. I was aware that I had some resistance to miasma, and I had some ability to function around Tep, which they acknowledged was irregular.

  We were at an impasse. I realized that no matter what Cathy told me, I wouldn't believe that I was currently capable of taking on a deity, especially not that god. So my options were to openly deny her, or I could humor her and fish for information. I never really thought of myself as the most straight-forward person, so going the latter route might suit me best.

  "So, I take it you have a plan?" Depending on her response, I hoped to get a better idea if she was planning to lure me into a trap. Even if I knew she was lying, I didn't know what her intentions were. My evolved Read the Room ability was remaining frustratingly silent.

  "Nope!"

  That was unexpected.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  My eyes probed hers, but she just grinned back at me like an idiot. This was yet another completely different personality I'd witnessed from the enigma known as Cathy.

  "So... You were going to recruit me, and then what?" I responded, unable to hide my surprise. I had prepared to counter any number of possible plans she would describe. I hadn't remotely planned for this.

  "I was just going to wing it. I mean, why not?" Her smile appeared genuine. Was she actually an idiot?!

  "That's the worst possible plan! Are you trying to get us killed?!" If nothing else, she had continued to keep me on tilt. Any strategic interrogating had long been thrown out the window.

  "It's okay. You'd save me." Despite her mouth full of sharp teeth, her smile actually came off as endearing. "I trust you."

  The conversation had devolved into a downward spiral. There was no point in continuing on this track. I couldn't even grasp who or what the person in front of me even was. I had to change the direction.

  "I'm happy you find me so trustworthy." I responded, preparing to shift the tone. "But how am I supposed to trust you. No offense, but I have way more enemies than friends in this world."

  She shifted, placing her index finger on her chin as she considered my words. Her entire demeanor screamed cute and innocent. Even though I knew she was likely manipulating me, my heart couldn't help but race.

  It was just because of her charm ability. I wouldn't be dumb enough to catch feelings for a transparently dangerous eldritch deity. Obviously I wasn't that simple minded. I swear I wasn't...

  "So, I should build your trust?" She paused to cutely look in my direction. "Okay!"

  My only response was furrowing my brow and scowling. I definitely didn't blush like a giddy teenager.

  "How about this?.." She grabbed Joan's note from my desk and flipped it to its blank side. She looked around for a moment before adding, "Do you have a pen I could borrow?"

  I sighed before summoning my journal and pen. Handing her the pen, I placed my journal on the corner of the desk. No matter how hard I tried, she had led me around for our entire encounter like I was a puppy on a leash. Unlike Dalos who is too much of a good boy to need a leash. Wait, did Boston have leash laws? No, that's dumb. I literally met with the police and they didn't say anything. But if I'm wrong, it would really suck if in the middle of a big battle, the city dog catcher just puppy-napped the most powerful member of our team. I should probably check with Dick then next time I saw him.

  While I was lost in thought, I caught a glimpse of what Cathy was writing on the journal page. It appeared to be some sort of map.

  "So, what's this supposed to be? A map to your apartment or something?" I couldn't imagine what she'd need to make a map for. Maybe she was trying to lure me out on a date to get me out in the open alone? It wouldn't be a bad plan. I was a complete moron when it came to romance.

  She handed me the completed map. It included the location of the safe house and another location marked with a star.

  "No, Sugarplum. Although I could add it to the map, if you'd like." Her eyes lit up.

  "That won't be necessary." I 100% did NOT blush.

  "You sure, tater tot?" She paused, but continued when she realized I wasn't going to respond. "This is a map to a secret speakeasy run by the Voormis. You should be able to find what you need and more to bust your little investigation wide open."

  To say I was skeptical would be an understatement. The likelihood this wasn't a trap was astronomical. As the great Admiral Ackbar once said The shield is down! Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor! That didn't have anything to do with the current situation, but it was still something he said. Another thing Admiral Ackbar famously said was It's a trap! which happened to be much more in line with my thoughts about the supposed speakeasy.

  "So I'm just supposed to go to the spot on this map, and then what?" I did my best to hide my skepticism.

  "I can't give you all the answers. It wouldn't be fun that way." Her attitude was more than a little cheeky. "But at the door, just tell them Cathy sent you."

  Before I could respond, she hopped off the desk and turned toward the door. Looking over her shoulder one last time, she winked at me.

  "Come and see me when you get a chance, Peanut." She stepped through the door, closing it behind her.

  ... And just like that, Cathy was gone.

  I was left completely dumbfounded for a moment. Glancing at the map, I wondered if it would be worth it to investigation the marked location.

  So many thoughts bounced around inside my head, I found it nearly impossible to think about my next move. It wasn't like I could go anywhere right now anyway. I needed to wait for Joan and Dalos to return from whatever adventure they'd gone on.

  As I grasped the pen Cathy had left on the desk, my attention was drawn to its associated journal. When she had first arrived, I had disregarded a notification. Her charm had forced me to hyper-focus on her while disregarding everything else. With her gone, it would make sense to check my journal to see what it said.

  I grabbed the black leatherbound journal in my hand and flipped through the pages to find recent notifications. When I finally found the most recent notification, my eyes went wide.

  I should have looked at this sooner...

  Congratulations

  You have discovered a Romanceable Character!

  Cathy Liu: The Siren of the Deep

  Affection level: 0/5

  Looking at her full name, I finally put the pieces of Cathy's identity together. Really? A pun? That's what you're going with?

  As I continued to stare at the notification in shock, the office door opened up revealing a woman and translucent puppy of nightmarish cuteness.

  "Why does it smell like a woman was in here?" Joan asked as she wiped blood from her pen on my shirt. Seriously, why did she always do that?! Where did that blood even come from?!

  "Funny story." I met her eyes with an awkward grin. "I just met the person I'm supposed to date... And I think it's Cthulhu."