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  By the end of the weekend, all the rubble from the school was cleared out. Six children were found alive, but in critical condition. They had survived by hiding under desks that had miraculously not been destroyed by the explosion or crushed by the falling building. Valorie wasn’t among them.

  The bodies of all the children and teachers were eventually found and discreetly returned to their families. I skipped work and school when Val was found Friday. Aaron was practically family to me, and though I hadn’t known Val very well until the last couple months, I felt like she could have been my little sister, too.

  I’d always thought of Aaron as intelligent, well-organized, good humored, and kind. Seeing him with his sister the day we’d gone to the amusement park had shown me a different side of him, the doting big brother who was securely wrapped around his little sister’s finger. I had seen a deeper level of emotion in him during the times we’d spent with Val than I’d ever seen before.

  The Aaron whom I saw in the weeks following the school bombing was as far removed from that person as possible. He was disheveled, disorganized, and withdrawn. He didn’t avoid my company, but he barely spoke to me when I visited. Not even science questions could peak his interest. I stayed by his side the day they recovered Val, and though I didn’t know what to say to help him, I knew my presence was enough when he’d reach over to hold my hand for a moment as we watched fantasy and science-fiction movies of epic adventurers doing epic things that were in no way related to the real world.

  The funeral was just over a week later. Being the latter half of April, the weather was cooperative enough for us to have an outdoor memorial under a crisp blue sky. Like most people nowadays, Val’s dad had cremated his daughter’s body. He had purchased a deep blue ceramic urn for the ashes, an underwater scene of corals, fish, and mermaids wrought in exquisite detail all around the jar. My eyes teared up looking at it, remembering the dolphin Val had gotten painted on her cheek and the OMNIMAX movie we had watched when we went to the park.

  Along with a photograph of Valorie, favorite belongings of hers were displayed on the table around the jar, including the stuffed Bonko dragon. I blinked rapidly and wiped my eyes several times when I saw it. Cards and letters from family and friends were also scattered among her things, all of which were protected from the light breeze by sheer curtains on an open tent.

  I recognized many people at the service by face, if not by name, from the family events Aaron had invited me to over the years. I’d never been very good at remembering names, and I’d never had any real reason to try to remember those of my best friend’s extended family. Most of them also recognized me and greeted me cordially, though none tried to talk for much longer than it took to exchange pleasantries.

  I lost track of Aaron momentarily when I went to the small refreshment table for a cup of water, but found him seated alone on one of the many benches set up around the perimeter of the private yard.

  “Hey,” I said gently as I approached. “Mind if I join you?”

  He looked at me without saying anything, but nodded.

  “They’re going to be looking for you soon,” I murmured, sitting and glancing around the area at the four dozen or so people gathered.

  Aaron nodded. “But not yet.”

  I sighed quietly. My best friend had withdrawn into himself so far, and I didn’t know how to reach him anymore.

  “It’s beautiful,” I said, nodding toward the canopy and display underneath.

  “She deserved better,” he mumbled. I looked at him in confusion. He turned toward me, a haunted look in his eyes. “She deserved to live.”

  I lowered my head and blinked back tears again. I wanted to be strong for Aaron. No matter how close we were, we weren’t family, and I hadn’t actually lost a sister. And a mom. And a dad. Both my parents were still alive and happily married halfway across the country, my younger brother was in college, and my younger sister had just moved out on her own after graduating high school. They were all healthy and safe, as far as I knew.

  Aaron’s hand reached over to mine. “Thank you,” he said. I looked up at him again, questioningly. “For being here for me this whole time. It means a lot.”

  I smiled at him. “How could I do otherwise?”

  We sat in silence for a while longer as I watched Val’s dad make his way through the gathering, greeting and talking with the guests. He caught my attention at one point, but only raised a hand and nodded in our direction. He, too, understood Aaron’s need for space.

  I took a moment to consider how to ask my next question.

  “You’ve never talked about Robert much,” I began. Aaron shrugged. “He’s your dad, too, isn’t he?”

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  “Step-father,” Aaron corrected me gently but not unkindly.

  “But your mom married him while you were still in high school?”

  He nodded. “They met when I was twelve. Married a couple years later. I graduated school a year early, and moved out before I was eighteen.”

  That was more than he’d said to me in two weeks, combined. I tried pressing my luck a little more. “But you don’t really consider him your dad?”

  Aaron shrugged again. “He’s a great guy. Never did me wrong. Or … Val…” he paused, breathing deeply a couple times. “But I was more focused on myself and school for the three years we all lived together. And Val. He was never really my ‘dad’. My dad died when I was eleven. Robert is… he made my mom happy, and he treated me like his son. I never hated him or felt like he was ‘replacing’ my dad, but I never felt the need to get close to him, either.”

  Aaron took a deep breath, looking surprised that he’d said so much. I smiled. “I see. Do you think it will change much now?”

  Aaron stared down at his lap, then up at a bird flying overhead. “Probably not,” he finally replied.

  Everyone began gathering at benches lined up in semi-circles in the center of the yard. Robert was standing in front of the memorial table, holding a microphone and watching everyone as they sat down.

  Aaron sighed. “I’m supposed to speak after him.”

  “I’ve never known you to be afraid of public speaking,” I teased him gently.

  He frowned, pulling a paper out of one of his pockets and looking at it without actually reading it. “I’m not. I just don’t really want to be around people right now.”

  I placed a hand on his arm. “I understand. But you’ll do it for Val?”

  He looked at my hand, then at me, and gave a small smile. “Yeah,” he said simply, and we walked over to the rest of the group.

  Robert spoke about how beautiful Val was when she was a baby, and how smart she was, like her mom and brother. How she loved the sea and talked about wanting to travel to Indonesia one day to see real mermaids.

  He told a story about how she had come up to him after a trip to the amusement park the previous month and asked if he could make fireworks with his Illuminate talents. They had gone outside and he had attempted to fulfill her request, both of them laughing at his failures and cheering at his eventual success.

  That was the point I finally started crying, gently dabbing the tears away with the tissues I’d been given when I’d arrived. I glanced at Aaron next to me and saw he had a blank, almost impassive look on his face. But I also noticed him blink very quickly several times, and knew he was trying to hide his emotions so he could give his speech next.

  Val’s dad finished and handed the microphone to Aaron as he sat down. Aaron walked to the front of the gathering and looked at the group in general, then directly at me for a moment. I nodded and tried to smile encouragingly.

  Aaron looked at the paper in his hands for a moment before folding it back up and putting it in his pocket again.

  “I had a speech planned, but after talking with someone close to me, I think I want to tell you about the first time I learned I would have a little sister, instead.”

  I was surprised that he’d decided to go off-script, given how little he wanted to be in front of everyone. But Aaron had always been charismatic, and our talk must have given him some courage he didn’t have before.

  “I was fifteen. My mom had just remarried less than a year earlier. I still missed my dad every day, but when I learned I was going to have a little sibling, the emptiness seemed just a little smaller. I loved Val before I even knew who she was or what her name was going to be.

  “I remember the first time I saw her, got to hold her. She was so small. A tiny, perfect little person. The first thing I ever told her was, ‘I’m going to be the best big brother you could ever have’. And for the next two years, while I still lived at home, I was there at her every achievement: rolling over, crawling, walking, first words.

  “When I moved out for school, I stayed in the city so I would be able to be there for her as she grew up. When I had to go to Magiskolen for five months every year, I would video call three times a week and do all sorts of ‘magic tricks’ for her. When I was here, I would make sure to visit as often as my schedule would allow.”

  Aaron stopped speaking for a moment and took a deep breath. I saw his throat working and knew he was holding back tears again.

  “I’m sure Val would have grown up to be a wonderful woman. A loving wife and mother. Maybe she would have moved to Indonesia to become a magicus marine biologist. Whatever she did, she would have been amazing at it.”

  He stopped talking again as tears fell from his eyes. He smiled and nodded, then walked back to Robert and handed him the microphone before walking around the benches and taking a seat at an unoccupied bench in the back. I caught Robert’s eye as I watched Aaron take his new place, and he nodded his head in the direction of his son. I took the hint and quietly got up and followed my friend.

  Aaron looked up at me as I approached, then unnecessarily scooted over an inch in an invitation for me to sit with him. In the front, one of his aunts had begun to talk.

  “That was very nice,” I told him as he pulled out a tissue of his own and started dabbing his cheeks.

  “Thanks. Talking about my past made me realize I needed to say something from the heart, not the head.”

  I smiled and nodded, tears forming in my eyes again.

  He took a deep breath, then looked me directly in the eyes. “I might need some time to myself for a while,” he said as gently as he could.

  I felt my heart squeeze. “What do you mean?”

  He sighed. “I love that you’ve been here for me so much the last couple of weeks. I really do. But I need a little time to process this now, a little time to myself. I’ll still be here, just…” He glanced away, a faraway look coming into his eyes. “I’m not sure how to handle it,” he finally said.

  He must have seen the pain in my face when he looked back because he took my hand in his, reassuringly.

  “Zoe, I...” He paused, and I didn’t know if it was because he didn’t know what to say or if he didn’t know if he should say what he was thinking. “I’ll be ok,” he finally said. “I’m not going anywhere. I just need time to deal with this.”

  I looked at my dark hand in his light one and nodded. We’d been friends for five years, he wasn’t going to just leave because of this, I reminded myself.

  Several more people spoke as Aaron and I sat in companionable silence. I, at least, was only half-listening. Whenever I looked at Aaron, for the first time since I’d known him, I couldn’t read his expression.

  When the memorial was over, Aaron gave me a ride home and I gave him a hug before getting out of the car.

  “You’ll make it through this,” I told him. “I’m always here for you if you need me.”

  He smiled at me. “I know. Thanks, Zee.”

  I waved at the back of the car as he drove away, then called my parents to tell them I loved them and I was doing well.