Then suddenly, his lips slid down to hers, pressing tightly against her, holding her tightly. His kiss was wild and fierce, filled with the need of his whole soul.

  She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't resist... Her whole body was limp like cotton, her thoughts drifting away from her, her feet felt like they were stepping on clouds, so weightless, so floaty. Her hands involuntarily circled his neck, her eyes closed, tears flowing down her cheeks. She moaned softly, melting into that illusory, dreamlike sensation. Suddenly, she became alert; a shiver ran down her spine. What was she doing? Allowing him to treat her as the ghost of Han Yan? She trembled, straightened her back, and quickly pushed him away with force.

  She gasped and retreated to the side, then she found a gap in a broken wall. She looked at him, and he lunged toward her. She immediately climbed through the gap, letting out a faint cry, as if fleeing from a pgue, desperately running out into the garden. She heard Bai Peiwen shouting frantically behind her, "Han Yan! Han Yan! Han Yan!"

  She ran, running for her life, running a long distance. She could still hear Bai Peiwen's frantic, tearing cries: "Han Yan! Come back! Han Yan! Come back! Han Yan! Come back!"

  She reached the gate of the Bai residence, took out the spare key she had, and opened the side door. Her hands were trembling, her heart was pounding wildly, and her mind was in chaos. Once inside, she hurriedly walked into the house. She walked so fast that she almost bumped into someone. She stopped and looked up; it was Lao You. He was bending down, picking up a red rose that had fallen from her.

  "Miss Fang, your rose!"

  Lao You spoke as he handed the rose to Fang Siying. She gnced at him, his gaze sharp and inquisitive. She hurriedly took the rose and, as if trying to hide something, said, "Aren't you going to sleep?"

  "I'm waiting for Mr. Bai; he hasn't come back yet."

  "Oh," she replied, holding the rose and quickly walking into the room. But she still felt Lao You's sharp gaze lingering on her from behind.

  Once upstairs, as soon as she entered her room, she felt completely drained, as if all her strength had left her. She closed the door, threw herself heavily onto the bed, and y there, unmoving for a long time. Then she sat up slowly and carefully removed her coat and shoes, both still covered in the grass fragments from Hanyan Vil. The rose had already been crushed.

  She changed into her pajamas and y down, but her mind was still in a state of chaos, unable to calm down. The kiss Bai Peiwen had left on her lips was still vivid, and she found that she didn't despise it. On the contrary, she always felt a lingering, painful, and soft sensation of intoxication. She didn't like this feeling; every fiber of her being seemed to ache—a suffocating, contradictory, and distressing pain. She couldn't hear Bai Peiwen returning to his room. Was he still futilely searching in that ruin? That eerie, desote, cold, and lonely ruin! She almost saw Bai Peiwen's figure—so haggard, full of unspoken sorrow, reaching out his pleading hand toward the void. Searching again and again, calling and calling, looking and looking… But where was his Han Yan? Where was she?

  She buried her face in her palms, the painful, annoying care! Why hadn't he returned yet? The moss was damp and cold there, the night wind biting; why hadn't he returned yet? Suddenly, she remembered the small bck booklet. She got up and fumbled through the pocket of her coat to pull out the damp, tattered booklet. Turning it over, the small, delicate handwriting was almost unreadable. Under the light, she looked carefully. It was a simple diary, filled with scattered notes and occasional musings. She continued reading:

  June 5th

  Tea picking began today. Bai Peiwen was busy all day, and the girls picking tea outside the window were singing songs with beautiful melodies.

  June 8th

  "She" came to cause trouble again, and my heart is in agony. I don't know what to do. This matter absolutely cannot be known by Pei Wen. I think I... (the rest was burned).

  June 11th

  I've decided to write something down. I often have an ominous premonition. I should write many things down.

  June 12th

  Pei Wen has been in the factory all day. "She" has driven me to the brink of mental colpse. Gao witnessed everything. He said he would tell Pei Wen, but I begged him not to.

  June 15th

  Pei Wen has been at home all day. I helped him organize the factory accounts. I don't want him to leave me. I love him! I love him! I love him!

  June 17th

  I must write this down. I must. (the rest is burned)

  June 18th

  Gao insists that I can't go on like this. He is very agitated. He says Pei Wen is a fool, a blind man.

  June 22nd

  I am going crazy. I think I will definitely go crazy. "She" questioned me about my ancestors today. I couldn't answer. Ah!

  June 24th

  I hope Pei Wen won't be so busy. I hope! For Pei Wen, I would sacrifice anything, anything!

  June 25th

  What a day! Pei Wen, you shouldn't bme me. I've endured so much suffering. Do you still want to bme me? Pei Wen, you are so cruel, so cruel, so cruel. I cried all day. "She" said I... (the rest is burned).

  June 26th

  Gao accompanied me all day. He is afraid I will seek death.

  June 29th

  I am determined to write something. I want to write a small book. I want to write down everything about me and Pei Wen.

  June 30th

  I started writing the book. Everything is going smoothly.

  July 5th

  I think I am too tired. I have a slight fever today.

  July 8th

  A storm is about to come. I can feel it. Pei Wen is not at home again. I spent the whole day writing at my desk. Suddenly, at dusk... (the rest is burned)

  July 9th

  Sure enough! "She" caused trouble again. Oh my! It rained heavily today. Pei Wen went to the factory. I couldn't stand it. I ran out and got soaked. Gao chased me back.July 20th

  After being sick, I feel sluggish. Pei Wen is quite unsympathetic to me. My heart is broken.

  July 22nd

  I feel weak all over, dizzy, and confused. Although I want to write at my desk, I can't muster the strength. Gao advised me to rest. He said I look as if I am dying.

  July 25th

  Continuing to write the book, exhausted. On July 26, a small life will be born in mid-August. My back and waist ache every day. The doctor said my constitution is too weak, and I might have a difficult delivery.

  July 27th

  The weather is extremely hot; the sun is bzing. "She" wants me to read "The Tale of Liu the Devious" for her. I don't know what she means. (the rest is burned)

  July 28th

  I fainted several times. Gao called a doctor. I begged him not to tell Pei Wen. Pei Wen is too busy. Everything cannot be bmed on him.

  July 30th

  I have a fever, I'm thirsty, and my life is nearing its end. I must finish writing the book first. Oh my, I don't want to die yet.

  July 31st

  Pei Wen and Gao had a big argument. Does Pei Wen also believe those words? I struggled to get up and write the book but eventually colpsed.

  August 1st

  What kind of dizziness am I experiencing? What kind of hallucinations! Pei Wen, don't leave me! Pei Wen, my love, my heart, my world!

  ……

  She suddenly shut the little booklet, unwilling to read any further. The fragmented, incomplete entries twisted her heart in pain, her eyes blurred with tears. She locked the booklet in the drawer of the bedside cabinet, then y back on the bed. Listening intently, Bai Peiwen still hadn′t returned. Only the pine wind and bamboo rustle on the hillside made soft, sorrowful sounds.