"To satisfy the theory of those religious nut-job from the other department, we will do the standard experiment, but torture you a lot while doing it. If you're lucky, your brain will shut down before too long, and then you will die."
I may need to re-contextualize: I'm Jessica Malone, I'm 24 years old, and I'm dying. I was sick for most of my life, living in the hospital since I was 18 and my parents could legally get rid of me.
I got an incurable disease that will shut down all my organs, the 'taking her time to kill you' type of disease. It's started with my immune system: goodbye social life, and outside, and pets. I have only a few years left to enjoy hospital meals. And apparently, I'm not the only one that doesn't want to die, since a lot of rich guys gave loads of money to fund the "Institute of Digital Life", with the goal of uploading a complete human mind inside a computer.
From what the guy — Hector by the way — said to me they have been trying for a while, but it doesn't work; the file with the brain doesn't compute or something, and as more and more of his colleagues started thinking it was because they were only uploading the mind and not the soul.
This is where I'm entering into play :
Since no rich guy wants to suffer the risk of eternal nothingness, they need a test subject to try to upload the soul and I got chosen for the honor. Apparently they will try to digitize my mind while I'm alive and conscious, so that my soul get taken in the process… And then I will be uploaded. If it works it might prove that souls are real which may have crazy philosophical implications, and I will live forever with the richest bastards of all, yay…
More realistically, it won't work: I will suffer a lot, die, and then nothing. But the institute promised a shit-ton of money. A shitty deal, but the best one I will get. And my dad will have to use my real name to get the money otherwise it all goes to my little sister. Well, even if he recognizes the papers most of the reward will go to her but I can't stop myself from a bit of pettiness.
I sign the form, doing my best to write Jessica with a lot of calligraphy. It comes a little bit scrambled, but it's legible, best I can hope with the shaking.
I'm prepared to enjoy my last meal: orange juice. Apparently having food in me could ruin the experiment ? Not really sure how some pastas could affect my brain but I'm not a scientist, just a part-time writer.
The operating room is very different from what I saw on TV drama: there is a big metal slab, lot of screens and cables all around. Half the people aren't even in doctor clothing, wearing suits and smartwatches. Ugh, engineers.
At one end of the slab there is what I can only guess to be the machine: some big dark box with multiple robotic-looking arms, at the end of which what's look like needles and other sharp pointy tools. God, I really hope not gonna use it on me and it's just a random thing they store in this room for no particular reason.
One of the doctors make me lay on the slab, and it's very cold, I guess none of the very smart people around realized that my hospital gown is open at the back and cold metal on naked skin is not the best experience. Or they realized and didn't care …
They start connecting me to the lot of monitoring equipment; the standard hospital one, I'm used to it, and then the not so standards : a sort of glass that sends light flashes to my eyes. So I close my eyes, that thing burns a little.
"The eye scanner is sending an error?!" One of the engineers said from my left.
"Oh, they seem to have closed their eyes, hey, you have to stay awake, it's in the contract", They finally address me, it's not like I've been in this room for 5 minutes without anyone acknowledging me.
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"It hurt my eyes, could you maybe reduce the intensity or something ? "
"Oh yeah, didn't think of that, it's the problem at working with a conscious subject."
"We got the restraint for that chief"
I don't think I will like where they are going.
Yeah, really don't like it. They attached my arms and legs and face in place so I can't move around.And they used some adhesive tape to keep my eyes open so that the goggles can keep blasting my eyes away.
Well at least I can't see the machine moving behind me, the arms doing robotic noise, like a bus door, with pssscht ?
There's go my hope it was there for something else.
"We are ready to begin the experiment !"
Yeah, and I just remember reading that the brain doesn't have a pain sensor, so it shouldn't hurt when they dig into it.
OK, I underestimated the pain, I felt like they were pressing my brain like an orange, while putting it on fire. At least it's over and I'm still thinking, so I guess that I am ?
Did they succeed ? Maybe I should have gone to church a bit more ? Nah, computer simulations for dead people don't have heaven.
OK, weird, I can "see", like not see see, but perceive ? There's lot of blobs, they look shiny, they float in the void, I float in the void, in what looks like a river toward something. Something that look like a spiral, resembling those drawing of the galaxy ?
And I'm drawn to it too, and unless the guy that made the computer simulation was high as fuck, I think I'm dead. And I guess soul exists ? Is that what I am ? A soul ?
I think I'm really too chill about it. I guess the hormones and all the body chemistry that I don't have anymore were responsible for producing an appropriate reaction to that kind of situation.
Oh
I'm a blob too.
I guess that make sense, but never really thought of myself as blob material. At least I look different from all the other blobs. Maybe it's a perspective thing ? I'm not vain to the point of thinking my soul is that distinct, it must be me looking at it giving me a different angle.
I don't think I like looking different, I was already that for all my life. And it doesn't feel that fair to be in death too. To try to describe it: my blob form is a lot sharper ? Like with angles and flat surfaces instead of bubbling light ?
It's really hard to describe what I can only guess are souls, not surprising that we didn't manage to prove their existences before.
I have some time before that spiral thing, and if I'm looking very carefully at the souls I can see differences even between the normal blob ones. For once, they are not all as much active, I can see some light moving a little in everyone, but some have a lot of light that moves around fast, like me, but a lot have only a few slow moving lights. I said like me, but my lights are moving in coherent fashion, flowing some arbitrary lines, and the other have their lights all over the place going randomly.
Also, even if they are all blobby and shiny, the inside seems to have different forms made of variable density ? Probably the difference between individuals ? I never had the chance to be a scientist, but studying Souls seems very interesting.
I finally arrive at the spiral. From there it look like there is different flux going into it, but too far to see correctly. I'm guessing other worlds ? Aliens exist???? Maybe I will have an Alien friend in heaven: a nice fun alien friend, like Ford, not the big scary Xenomorph.
And I'm approaching a big gate, a bit cliché but I guess there's not a lot of way to symbolize an entrance ?
Death system initialization for universe EARTH
Oh shit, it's weird, like text I can read and hear at the same time, but with no ear or eyes. Shit. What is it saying.
User soul type inconsistent with originating universes
Possible worlds crosser detected, processing to soul identification
"What ? I don't understand, hello ?"
Oh shit, that hurt a lot. I wish I had a mouth to be able to scream.
-I think we should start by the end
-Audacious strategy, most start at the beginning.
-Haha, I mean, what happens after death ? We need to manage that as it's kind of the end line for everyone. And one of the motivations for most people.
-Well, soul leave material realm, disappears, what more to it ?
-Yeah, but that's boring … We should do something about it. I don't know, maybe we can reuse the souls, or offer a nice reward for those who did well ?
-That sounds like a lot of work, but also a good motivation for the living …
Talk next to the coffee machine.