Chapter 30:

  Hand in hand, Nereida brought Ael to see the boys. Alejo, the more observant of the pair, looked up with bright eyes.

  “You’re holding hands like Cri and Damen,” he said, looking them up and down. “Mama… did you kiss the admiral under a tree?”

  “Not under a tree,” Nereida replied with a little ugh. She pushed the door open and brought Ael to sit beside her on the bed. Little Egaz climbed into her p.

  “I feel all better!”

  “I’m gd, small one.” She ruffled her son’s hair. It was growing long. He pced a sticky kiss on her cheek. He still smelled of the bright orange fruit that Ael had bought them.

  The room was messy, the boys’ clothing in a pile to be undered, their dice and sticks and new toys from Ael had no pce to be. Only their lesson books were safely tucked away.

  “So, my darlings, we need to pack up the room. Uncle Bassi is still going to be here, but we are moving in with Ael,” Nereida began tentatively. The boys looked at her with furrowed brows, before they looked around at the disaster.

  “Why?” Egaz asked, at the same time as Alejo blurted “are we in trouble?”

  “Not in trouble,” Nereida replied, smiling a little.

  “Is she gonna live with us like Elgaza?” Alejo asked, his bottom lip trembling. “Are you forgetting Elgaza?” Ael stilled at her side, but Nereida could not deal with her beloved’s feelings until her sons’ were settled.

  “Oh love, mommy will never forget Elgaza. I didn’t know you still thought about her.” She knelt at Alejo’s side, her knee nding on a toy. She bit back a curse.

  “But she’s been gone for two years,” she gently reached up to wipe a tear from his cheek. “And she’d want us to find happiness, right?”

  “Yeah.” He rubbed his nose on the back of his sleeve.

  “Ael makes me happy.”

  She motioned to the woman sitting awkwardly on her bed. Ael’s eyes burned with questions. She was fidgeting, resolutely not asking questions. Not yet.

  “Mommy, that’s the Grandmiral,” said Egaz, crossing his little arms and huffing. “You have the wrong person.”

  “Oh love, Grand Admiral is her title, not her name.”

  “Oh.”

  “Mommy wants to make a life with Ael. Marry her,” she gnced at the littlest one. “Do you know what that means, love?”

  “Yeah, it means have a house and live together and make babies. Like Al’s daddy did, and he made a little sister for Al!”

  “Al’s mommy did all the work! Just like the cow and bull!” Alejo protested. Ael suddenly went very, very red. She put her hands over her face and seemed to struggle to breathe.

  “Boys, we talked about this,” Nereida struggled to keep a straight face, but she knew ughing would make it much much worse. “Not everyone is farm-raised, and they don’t like talking about this in public.”

  “But it’s not public, it’s family!” The little boy protested. “Isn’t Ael family if we are going to live with her?”

  “She will be soon,” Nereida replied, “but not before your heart tells you it’s time, okay?”

  “Is Ael going to make us a baby sister?” Egaz asked.

  “I don’t want one, they are loud!” Alejo protested.

  “We will see what happens,” Nereida replied, not wanting to get into it. She gnced back at Ael who looked like she was trying to sink into the bed and never return. “And boys? When you meet your family in the pace, maybe we don’t compare people to bulls and cows?” She made the mistake of gncing at Basiano when she spoke. Her brother looked like he was choking on his unspent ughter, and there were tears of mirth in his eyes.

  There were more questions, mostly from Egaz, about easy things, like Ael’s favourite colour and food. If she knew where babies came from too, which simply made the Admiral nod while covering her face. Basiano excused himself to ugh himself silly away from where the children could see or hear. Alejo just watched them for most of Egaz’s unending questions, until he piped up with his own.

  “Do you love mommy?” Ael looked up from her embarrassment. This one question, at least, she was prepared to answer.

  “I believe so, little man. I know I want to be with her… and that I’d like us to be family too when you are ready.”

  “A step-mom? Like in stories?” He leaned forward, looking at his own toes. “In stories the step-mom is always bad and they send the kids away.”

  “I would never,” she swore, dropping down to his eye level, narrowly missing a toy. She took his hands in hers. Nereida smiled softly at the scene. “I would not break up your family, little one. You and your brother are too important to her. If I sent you away, I’d hurt her. And I’d never hurt her.”

  “Okay.” He lifted his hands to her cheeks, squishing her cheeks. “Are your lips extra kissable like Cri?” He asked innocently. Ael made a squealing noise of indignation. “I think they just look like normal lips!”

  “Honey, that’s another of those things that maybe we talk about first,” Nereida said, trying and failing to keep amusement from her tone.

  “They are going to break the court,” Ael muttered, standing up. Nereida shot her lover a warning gre. She did not want to encourage her children’s unruly behaviour in court. As much fun as it would be for her to watch her father’s reaction.

  There was a surprising amount of chaos in the small shared space. Basiano, having returned from his self-imposed exile so that he could ugh, sent both women out, back to the cabin to prepare.

  “It will take about two hours,” he said. “In case you have things to talk about.” Ael nodded respectfully, and they headed out as the boys began to “pack” - which Nereida suspected was the two little ones throwing pillows at their uncle.

  Once they were in the cabin, Ael smmed the door, a hurt expression on her face.

  “Am I allowed to ask about Elgaza?” She began getting cups out from beneath the desk, before pouring wine into the cups. Nereida looked over at Ael but the woman was steadfastly ignoring her.

  “She was a Sylph, but not wind-touched.” Nereida sank into one of the hard wooden chairs, reaching for one of the filled cups. Her fingers brushed Ael’s, but the Admiral pulled away. “She was older than me by about a decade. She helped me get set up at a farm that was abandoned. She was… she was like an aunt at first; she was the first to see me after the sirens brought me to shore, took pity on me. She was the one holding my hand when I went into bour.” She blushed, focusing on the deep red of the wine, of its scent. “After I gave birth to Egaz, our retionship went physical. She… she was kind, attentive and I… I would have been happy with her, I think… maybe.” She closed her eyes. “We got hit with scarlet fever. The children fell to it first, and I… I used my magic to fight it, keeping the fever low so they wouldn’t die. I… I didn’t have enough strength to save her too.”

  The tears began to fall in earnest.

  “Egaz was two, and doesn’t remember anything. Alejo… at four, almost five, he remembers her. And misses her and I… I had to bury her.” She let out a long, slow breath. “It’s been two years. But I never told her I loved her. Not while she lived. Just at her grave.” She shook a little, trying to hold in the tears and the pain. She felt Ael’s soft hands take her cup.

  “I was jealous, I’m sorry. I know you have a past. You have two beautiful little boys.” Nereida felt Ael’s thumb gently wiping away her tears. “I will try to keep my jealousy in check.” She kissed the top of Nereida’s head.

  “She’s the only one, other than my ex-husband, that I had feelings for in the past, not counting a few childhood crushes. I’m not trying to keep secrets, but some things hurt more than others.” Nereida leaned into her beloved, drawing strength from the warmth of her lover. After a long moment, Ael spoke, her voice soft.

  “I understand; I guess there are things I haven’t told you yet, because I don’t like to talk about them.” The Admiral’s arms tightened around her. “There’s a lot we don’t know about each other yet.”

  They stayed like that for a moment. Nereida eventually stood to be equal to her beloved. Ael was barely a finger’s width taller than her. Nereida leaned in, kissed her beloved’s lips, her kisses desperate. She didn’t want to feel the hurt any more, just the touch of her lover. Ael’s lips parted, and Nereida very gently bit the lower lip. She was rewarded with a moan from Ael, the Admiral leaning into her. Nerieda pressed herself closer, trailing kisses down Ael's neck.

  “Ael,” she whispered, bringing kisses to her ear. Ael tenderly reached up and pressed a single, tender finger to Nereida’s lips, stopping the words that she was about to whisper.

  “I won’t be an escape,” she said firmly, though her cheeks flushed. “I only want this if you want me for me, not because you are hurting.”

  Nereida stepped back, her heart aching, but she nodded. Ael held out her hand.

  “I’m not telling you no, Nereida, just not now.” Nereida swallowed, and took the offered hand.

  “I do want you,” Nereida admitted. “And I’m hurting. Both can be true.” She stepped in closer, not returning to her amorous activities even though she desperately wanted to. “But… I can wait. You are worth waiting for.”