The next day around noon, someone knocked on my door and whispered. “Lady Saintess?”

  “Yes, Rosa? What is it?”

  “How did you know it was me?”

  “Rosa. Where are the guards?”

  “They’re outside because of the fight. Can I come in?”

  The fight?

  “Of course. Make sure to close the door behind you.”

  Rosa scurried in, bearing a tray of food. After setting the tray down on my desk, she removed a handful of different ointments and salves from her pockets.

  “What are those for, Rosa?”

  “Just in case. I’ve heard some nasty rumors, you know. Though I’m sure you’ll be fine!”

  I nodded. “I appreciate it. You should leave before the guards return. I don’t want you to get into any trouble.”

  “It’s okay! I’ll stay here with you. We youngsters have to stick together, you know? We can’t let those old fogeys and incredibly beautiful cougars have their way all the time! And the only way to resist the overwhelming power of the nobility is for the common men and women to unite as one and cast off their shackles! Which is why I brought some bread and ingredients for sandwiches. Do you want mayonnaise on yours, Lady Saintess?”

  This girl’s going to get herself killed by opening her mouth one of these days. “Yes, please. No lettuce, though.”

  Rosa nodded. “It’s a strange vegetable, now that you mention it. It hardly has any nutritional value, and it barely tastes like anything! I don’t know why I even put it on my own sandwiches. Sometimes eating lettuce makes me feel like I’m a helpless rabbit idly munching on leaves in the forest, totally unaware of the vixen slowly creeping up from behind, just ready to snap her jaws tight around me and drag me off to her den to do unspeakable things to my body!”

  “Rosa?”

  “Sorry. To tell the truth, I can’t get the fight out of my head… it was really pretty.”

  “Who fought, Rosa?”

  “The countess and Dame Selene! It was incredible. They moved so fast I could barely make sense of what was happening, and then suddenly bam, pow, the dame had the countess pinned to the ground, and then they were kissing and then she shoved her hand down the countess’s –”

  “Rosa! The countess and Selene fought. Why did they fight?”

  “The countess said Dame Selene had ‘disrespected her authority’ and I think she said she was going to slit her throat and coat the ground with her dishonorable entrails? Or something like that. And then they fought a duel like a pair of knights from a fairy tale! Except it was more like one of the fairy tales you’d find in the adults only section of a shady bookstore in the red-light district. It was incredible! Especially the part where the two of them renewed their love through physical contact without the slightest concern for who was watching! I knew Susan was full of shit when she said the countess and the dame didn’t have feelings for each other. Susan works in the kitchen, by the way.”

  If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  I nodded. “Please watch your language, Rosa.”

  “My sincere apologies, Lady Saintess. If you need to fire me, I completely understand. Oh! Before I forget, I have a written message for you!” Rosa pulled a folded scrap of paper from her pocket and handed it to me.

  “Who is it from?”

  “The wandering swordswoman from the second floor! She said it was very important, so I promised I wouldn’t forget to give it to you. Oh, and she said you absolutely mustn’t read it until the next time you’re on a balcony. She’s very pretty. Is it true that you two were pledged to be wed, and you confessed your love for each other underneath a waterfall during a solar eclipse, only to have your bonds mercilessly severed by the cruel blade of fate?”

  On a balcony? “Thank you very much for delivering the message, Rosa. You did well.”

  Rosa nodded while munching on her sandwich, then looked over at the pile of salves and ointments on the desk. “This mayonnaise tastes weird…”

  ------

  I spent the rest of the day confined to my quarters and used the time to catch up on exercise. Rosa was inspired to join in, and to my surprise, she was able to keep up—easily, even. I concluded that a maid’s work was more demanding on the body than I expected.

  On the bright side, my imprisonment gave me another opportunity to relax with a bath. After I was done, I goaded Rosa into taking a bath of her own since she had some spare time to herself for once.

  I returned to the main room. While Rosa splashed around in the tub, I retrieved a pen and paper from my handbag and plotted my escape.

  My excursions on horseback had given me a sense for the estate’s geography, and just recently, I had spotted a few small holes in the fence that I could likely fit through. Over the course of the last week, I studied the guards’ schedule. Shift changes occurred at the same time every day, on the clock, which made it rather straightforward to plan the timing of my exit.

  All that remained was to quietly break my room’s window, descend to the first floor unharmed, and get a message to XXXXX so she would leave the estate. Perhaps she could bring Rosa with her to keep the girl out of harm’s way.

  When I was done, I returned my notes to my bag and called out to Rosa. “Are you okay in there, Rosa? You didn’t fall asleep in the tub, did you?”

  “I’m fine, Saintess Helian! Did you know there are three different kinds of hair conditioner here? Do you suppose my hair is dry, regular, or oily? It’s hard to tell since I don’t get to wash it very often, and I’m not sure whether the conditioner categories are intended for one’s natural hair type or for the hair’s present status, so I don’t know which one to use… maybe I should mix them together?”

  “I’ll be right there, Rosa.”

  ------

  “I sincerely apologize.”

  The countess had summoned me to her office the next morning, but when I arrived, she was standing in front of her desk waiting for me with Dame Selene by her side. They were holding hands.

  “Pardon me, Countess? Did I mishear?”

  “You did not. I sincerely apologize for how I’ve mistreated you. While it’s no excuse, I’ve felt a bit out of sorts as of late… I didn’t realize it until Selene politely knocked some sense into me.”

  I nodded. “I see. I appreciate the apology, Lady Solana. I can understand how someone in your difficult position might make a mistake from time to time.”

  “For the time being, I’ve decided it would be best for you to temporarily leave the estate. You ought to rest in a different environment that won’t remind you of the things you endured here. Of course, you are welcome to return at any time once you’ve recovered. When you’re ready, I will have a detachment of guards sent to follow you, along with your maid if you wish.”

  In response to my visible shock and confusion, Selene looked me in the eye, raised her eyebrows, and tilted her head. I see. Thank you, XXXXX. This would simplify things tremendously. I noticed then that the dame’s collar was unbuttoned.

  “I don’t know what to say, Countess. I feel as if I will never be able to repay the many favors you’ve done for me.”

  “Think nothing of it, Helian! If you wish to do me a favor, living well and staying out of trouble will suffice. Our little bird would be beside herself with worry if you did otherwise, wouldn’t she?”

  “I’ll do that, Lady Solana. Thank you very much.” I bowed and left the office.

  Dame Selene called out as I left. “Shut the door behind you, please!”