Deafening Silence

  Stumbling blindly through the darkness, with the last traces of his anima consumed, he let his weapon vanish. Still reflecting on everything that he could have done, all the classes he had attended. And what good had come of it? He wasn’t thinking, not even at the end. Not even when it truly mattered, when he finally had to face his responsibility, his burden. It was over. It had been over since she had left.

  I want to see her again. I want to apologize to her.

  In the suffocating darkness, his consciousness slowly fading along with the searing pain all over his body, he felt himself fall into warm arms.

  “What did I tell you, my boy?” the darkness spoke.

  I want to see her again. I want to apologize to her.

  “I never wanted this to happen. Can’t you see that?”

  I trust you. I trust you. Please come back. Please don’t go.

  “What’ll it be this time, then?”

  There was a warm, trickling feeling on his face. Not the blood he had coughed up, not his own tears. Maybe it was raining. After an eternal fall, spring was somehow arriving.

  “I want to see her again,” he cried hoarsely. “I want to see her again.”

  And then, as if by some miracle, the darkness turned into light, and he was standing in the courtyard. A dusty pink sky. The ground beneath his feet, soft with the remnants of morning dew. In front of him, the Academy. No longer destroyed beyond all recognition. Complete and pristine, like those halcyon days.

  “Theo?”

  He turned around and saw her. She was holding a crystalline flower that shimmered in the radiance of their world. Smiling, she walked forward and held it out to him.

  He wanted to utter something, but he could not find the words. He could only stare at her as tears ran down his face, reach out a shaky hand to—

  Darkness, again.

  “Would you like to go back? Try again?”

  A sob escaped him this time, except it felt real. He could feel the blood in his throat.

  “It’s easy. I’ve taught you it before. You remember that last spell in your book?”

  The answer was simple. He wanted to go back. He wanted to see her again. He could not let it end like this. He had to tell her he was sorry and apologize for everything, tell her he trusted her, tell her he loved her. It was so easy. He had enough for one last spell. One. And then everything would be fixed. Everything.

  Ex-Kardia.

  * * *

  He was stumbling through the darkness again. Except he knew what was going to happen this time around. He remembered. She had told him. He had seen it in his dreams; he had fought tooth and nail to get to where he was.

  In the darkness, again. In the Darkwoods, again. A failure, again. What was he doing wrong? What was it he could have done differently, what could he have changed so that he’d be able to win? Was this all a joke, an unwinnable game? He was just a kid. A kid trying to fight in a war that wasn’t his.

  Scared? No, he wasn’t scared. He was angry. His anima was fading again. There was no more light. His weapon was fading, and so were his senses.

  “What did I tell you, my boy?” the darkness spoke again.

  I want to see her again. I want to apologize to her.

  “I never wanted this to happen. Can’t you see that?”

  I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. I’m so sorry.

  “What’ll it be this time, then?”

  “I want to see her again,” he cried hoarsely.

  And then, as if by some miracle, he was in the courtyard again. He turned around and saw her approach with her heart-rending smile and their flower.

  “Theo.”

  “Ty.”

  “What’s wrong? You look sad.”

  “Nothing.”

  “You’re crying.”

  “I love you, Ty. So much. And I miss you. I’m sorry for letting you down. I couldn’t do it this time.”

  “What are you talking about? You don’t need to—”

  For a moment, right before the darkness dragged him back to reality, he swore he could feel her hand grasping tightly onto his, pulling him in.

  “Would you like to go back? Try again?”

  His voice was barely a whisper, weighed down by all their years together. “No.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  Silence, then peace. Total darkness. Where there was no pain, no sadness. It was over. He had failed.

  * * *

  Theo finally woke up. Dewy grass underneath him, a cloaked figure beside him with a worried look.

  “Graces, you’re awake,” they scolded softly before turning away.

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  He instinctively put his hands over his face and let out a long, shaky breath.

  “Nightmare?”

  “What time is it?” he whispered, feeling his lips tremble and the tears fall over the side of his face.

  “Two hours until sunrise. You slept for a while.”

  “You didn’t wake me up for the shift.”

  “It’s okay. I would have if there were any danger. Chel’s with me.”

  “That’s not okay.”

  “You were whispering Ty’s name.”

  “That still doesn’t make it okay, Faris…” he responded faintly, trying to recall how her hand had felt in the dream.

  The physician finally piped up, breaking the silence between the two. “Nate should be back soon. He did a quick run around, and everything seems fine. We should be able to return to the Academy.”

  “Good,” he replied slightly louder now, hands still covering his face. “Did you touch my book?”

  Chel was ready with her reply. “I told you during the walk to camp that you’re not that huge of a threat, but if you’ve changed your mind and want me to burn the book, I’ll gladly do it.”

  His retort was just as swift. “No, you can’t. It’s important to me.” It was Em’s gift to him. It was the book he had taken with him into the forest, before Ty had found him.

  “And torn-out pages can still be recovered if you try hard enough,” mused Faris pensively. “Either the book or nothing at all.”

  Shrugging, Chel seemed unexpectedly laid-back even though she had been wide-eyed and smiling when she approached Theo after the second escort finished, and they headed off without causing any further injury to the villagers. How she looked at him seemed like she had finally found the last puzzle piece to a decade-old picture. “We’ll be keeping a close eye on you.”

  Nodding, he wiped the remnants of tears off his face and looked up at the dark sky. There it was—that feeling again. Emptiness. Passivity. In the thick of things, telling himself what he wanted felt like it would suddenly change something, but he had responsibilities and a role to fulfill. See her again? Later? There was no later. There was only the present.

  “Oh, you’re up early. What’s up?”

  Theo sat up stiffly with a groan and craned his head to see who Chel was talking to.

  “Ah. I cannot sleep. I feel…I feel unsettled,” spoke a tall, dark figure approaching from the trees.

  “What’s bothering you?” the physician entreated, head tilted with a knowing smile on her face. “Is it time?”

  The Ancient stumbled forward, hand clutching his head. Pain was written all over his face. “Maybe. Something…something is off. It is different…yet the same…I can feel something. Something angry.” He locked eyes with Theo. “Theo, I…I think I need a favor.”

  Without even thinking, the tactician responded, “Yes. Of course.”

  “I…I must return. It is dangerous, but I must…I must check something. At Hythe.”

  It took Theo a few seconds to process the request. “Darius…isn’t Hythe gone?”

  But the Ancient shook his head adamantly as he spoke. “No. Please. I must go.”

  An answer. A way out of the darkness. “I guess we’re going to Hythe, then.”

  * * *

  He remembered the night well. The feeling of soft sand underneath his feet. Every shaky step he took, clutching onto her hand so tightly it lost all feeling. Wondering where all the inhabitants had gone so suddenly, why nothing was guarded, why no one had said anything.

  And then the voice. He remembered the voice. Soothing at first. Then, angry. Furious, scathing rebukes that made no sense in his head. Nothing but chaos as he approached those milky-white trees with their dark children above, ceaselessly screaming the only thing he could understand.

  Leave, they cried, leave now, or you will make a grave mistake.

  He had seen it that night. The ruined world. Full of red, full of stagnancy, full of decay. In the split second after setting fire to the trees, he had seen a singular vision: it was him, bathed in blood and brimstone, attempting to save someone who had been destined to die.

  One life for the world. A fate that would not come to pass.

  “You know what’s going to happen, don’t you? Which is why you made us separate?” Theo asked once he broke out of his small reverie, feeling his neutral smile turn into a grimace.

  Moriya did not feign ignorance, leading the group through their almost twelve-hour trek east. “Yes. Much like the other Circles, this is what happens when Ty completes her goal.”

  “Destroying the sanctuaries.” The tactician turned to the Ancient, softening his expression to a despondent frown. “Well, all that we know about.”

  Between them was Selene, who broke the awkward pause by raising her hands up to the evening sky and stretching. “Guess we’ll see when we get there.”

  “The Earth Mother’s sanctuaries are a separate matter,” muttered the professor from the front, his tone less certain. “They do not bear trees, so they’re not a present concern. We need to stop MATS first.”

  The team descended into silence until they finally spotted the path leading into Hythe, the same one they had taken every week in their first year.

  “Oh look, we beat MATS to it. Thank the Graces I don’t have to kill anyone.”

  Turning his head forward, impervious to the professor’s morally questionable comment, Theo was surprised to see that the forest entrance hadn’t changed at all despite the sanctuary burning down—the fire must not have spread much, if at all. “Is MATS usually supposed to be here?”

  “Yes. If not now, then soon.” His reply was pensive as he momentarily gazed back at them. “Would have had a hard time sneaking all three of you in.”

  “The trees should have been burned,” commented Theo quietly. “What else…what else could there be for them?”

  “You’ll see.”

  The tactician sighed, unable to do anything but advance toward the beginning of where everything had begun. The first sanctuary.

  * * *

  So much had changed. So much was the same.

  “There’s…sand everywhere,” mused Selene first. “I didn’t know there was so much before…it’s like…Cephelia…”

  Watching Moriya step over the devastation as if it were nothing, toward where the old community paper-and-ink hut used to be—now just burned wood and straw—Theo felt a deeply unsettling feeling overwhelm him. Even the grass hadn’t been spared. The black canopy was nonexistent, the yellowing sky piercing through the green foliage above. All the tents that had housed the Ancients were gone, turned into piles of stones, wood, and straw.

  “Come, Theo,” beckoned Darius, following in the professor’s footsteps.

  He did as he was told in the Ancient’s domain, still trying to process the effects of the deceptively small fire he had started.

  The huts must have been the first ones to go. He remembered them being cozy and welcoming. Warm, intimate. He remembered the teacher’s hut, where Faris had defended that student. He remembered the meal hut, where they had prepared food. The crafting hut, where they had fashioned tools for gathering.

  Remnants. Mere traces of stone, glass, and silver were all that remained.

  “Will we need to pass the Earth Mother’s test again, like last time?” asked Selene softly as she jogged up to Darius, who was still a few steps away from Moriya, who stood still in the distance. An eerie, solitary black mark in a sea of white.

  “No, the Earth Mother no longer protects these places. Her Graces are gone with the trees,” answered the Ancient measuredly.

  Selene nodded, her hands clasped as she fell in step with Darius.

  Meanwhile, Theo was still trying to wrap his head around how much destruction his actions had brought about. A single flame was all it took. A single life.

  He looked up at the sky, as if some god existed above who could bless him with forgiveness he did not wish to seek.

  “Theo. Theo, come look.”

  The voice belonged to neither Moriya nor Darius. For a fleeting moment, for a reason he could not explain, it sounded like Ty.

  But as his eyes focused on what was in front of him, he could see Selene slowly backing up from Moriya and Darius. Her hands were no longer clasped, but over her mouth.

  Again, he walked over the soft, white sand. Over the same place where he must have passed through to bear his first sin against the Earth Mother. He walked and walked, feeling the same sinking, twisting feeling in his gut that he had felt the first time. Hand clenched into a fist at his side, holding nothing, cementing him in a world left for him to save.

  No more words, no more screaming. It was all gone, those small chaotic chatters that had made their home in his head for so long. It had been gone ever since he had woken up that day. It was only now, when he was back at the beginning, that he realized. When, in the deafening silence, words carried an insurmountable weight. A storm that would disturb the calm forevermore.

  He stood beside his teacher.

  “Do you see it, Theo?” started Moriya, his voice only a whisper. “Here, in all its glory.”

  In the center of where the trees once were was a black, cavernous expanse. White sand slowly trickling into it, expanding it, disappearing into an infinite void of nothingness.

  “The Earth Mother’s revenge,” finished Darius.