I’m not stupid.
I know they struggle too.
I know they pay their rent,
their bills,
their electric,
their water,
all the little hidden gremlins of adulthood—
internet, streaming, subscriptions,
the quiet money-drains nobody notices
until the bank app screams.
I know they aren’t living luxury.
I know they aren’t rolling in gold.
I know they’ve got stress too.
But what gets me—
what really gets me in the ribs,
twists the knife,
makes the anger taste metallic—
is how they never seem to go without.
Not really.
Not in the way I do.
How is it
that I’m the one checking my account
before buying anything,
but they’re out here
buying whatever they want
whenever the impulse hits,
like the universe personally wires them money
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for good behavior?
How is it
that I’m the one rationing coins,
stretching dollar bills,
making a miracle out of a ten,
but they’re always
—always—
finding a way
to get what they want?
I know they pay more than me.
I know their share of the house
is bigger,
heavier,
messier.
I know being an adult
is hell for everyone
in their own custom-made way.
But still—
still—
why does their struggle
never look like hunger?
Why does it never look like panic at 2am
when you’re $40 short
and payday is four days away?
Why does it never look
like choosing which bill
to let rot this month?
How do they juggle
all those responsibilities
and still have pockets
full enough for comfort,
for hobbies,
for little luxuries I can’t even dream of?
It’s not jealousy.
It’s not entitlement.
It’s confusion.
It’s exhaustion.
It’s that sting of knowing
I’m working my ass off
and still losing
to people who somehow
always land on their feet.
I know they struggle.
But god,
sometimes it feels like
I’m the only one who bleeds
when life bites down.

