"The craze of the moment? LaTwoTwos, the twenty-second iteration of the popular collectible dolls! One just sold for four-point-six billion credits at a rapid online auction. The reason for their popularity, however, might shock you.
Seventeen countries have passed new anti-online gambling laws that are intending to curb the epidemic, a bill pushed by Samurai Gamba Baby. However, winning tangible prizes is a known and well-exploited loophole, and certain models of plushies have started to gain value as collectible items!"
--ColNewsInternational article, 2039
***
I was shovelling breakfast into my mouth when I got a call. It was early the next morning, which basically meant that it was gonna be on the last mornings I'd get to spend at home for a bit, or at least for as long as whatever went on in Quebec lasted for.
I was mostly not looking forward to it. Complicated shit had a way of ruining my mood at the best of times.
The call was from Gomorrah, which wasn't surprising. "Yeah?" I asked as I answered. I even swallowed and everything first.
"Catherine," Gomorrah said. "We're waiting for you downstairs. Have you even showered yet?"
"I have," I defended. "I was having breakfast with Lucy. I'll be down in five. Is it a hurry or anything?"
"It's not urgent. I just know that if I don't press, you won't show up for another three hours and then I'll be genuinely upset with you."
"Urgh," I said before hanging up. I'd get down there, eventually.
"You need to head out?" Lucy asked.
She was wearing an apron and really tight panties and nothing else. Praise to whomever invented the concept of indoor heating. She had wanted to make sure I came back in one piece, and had decided to make the night one to remember.
It was nice. Very nice. Super nice. I didn't wanna leave.
"Yeah," I sighed. "Gom's waiting for me. Getting her nun knickers in a twist, probably. And I think she said 'we' so at least one of the others is here. Probably Hedgehog, that guy seems punctual." I covered up a yawn, then checked the time. It was ten something. A bit later than expected, but not so late that I was late-late.
Getting up, I stretched, then padded over to the bedroom to get changed properly. Since this was gonna be serious samurai business, I needed to dress seriously. That meant squeezing into an armoured bodysuit, then gearing up on top of that. The helmet stayed off for the moment. It was comfortable and light, but still a little clunky and hid my face too much.
I wanted people to see me glaring.
I shrugged on my bounty-hunter chic coat, then strapped on a few guns. Laser Pointer SMG at the small of my back with a strap to hold it in place, Trenchmaker in a thigh sheath, my Void Terminus in its own sheath along my side, in case I had to go melee on a bitch.
I glanced myself over in the bathroom mirror, studiously ignoring the fact that the shower was on and how Mister Tentacles was washing himself off in there. I looked pretty badass. That'd be great, because I was worried that looks were going to matter soon enough.
Picking off a piece of lint from my coat, I left the room, only to encounter Lucy in the hallway. "Heading out?" she asked.
"Yeah. Kiss for good luck?" I asked.
When I next walked down the corridor, it was with a stumble to my step and a lightheaded feeling. Maybe that was all the luck, because Lucy was good.
I rode down the elevator to the parking garage just below, adjusting my collar as I went. Then I stepped out, it was to find the Bastion parked where it ought to be, with the Fury parked where it shouldn't. Gomorrah usually left her little muscle car in her own garage, instead of up here, though I supposed she planned on playing escort today, so it was fine.
"Hey hey," I said as I walked over.
Gomorrah was leaning back, arms crowded, on the hood of her car. A few steps across from her was Hedgehog, also with his arms crossed. I was about to comment that he looked extra spikey today when someone muttered right next to me. "Hello."
I turned, then jumped about nine feet into the air. "Jesus fuck shit," I swore.
Shy was standing right there, not five feet away from me in her all-black cloak. "Sorry," she muttered.
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"You scared me half to death," I said, hand on my chest. "How long were you standing there for?"
"Half to death? Does that mean you only have four and a half lives left?" Gomorrah asked.
"Shut up, you," I grumbled. "Don't make Nya jokes, you'll just attract her to here."
"Hmm, I suppose. Did you ever invite her to this?" Gomorrah asked.
I shook my head. "No. I don't know where she is, and that's probably for the best. That woman is weird."
Gomorrah gave me a very flat look at that, which I decided not to interpret at all.
"When did you arrive?" I asked Shy. "I don't see your car."
"I... was here," Shy said.
She didn't elaborate on that.
"Okay," I said. "Hey, Hedgehog. What's up?"
"Nothing," he replied tersely. "It's good to see you. I appreciate the call out. I've been to Quebec before. Nice city. It'd be a shame if it was destroyed and we didn't do anything to help."
"Yeah," I replied.
Then we all stood there, silently, and I had a terrible, terrible realization: I was the only extrovert here. Maybe Gomorrah could hold a conversation well enough, but she wasn't one to initiate things. Hedgehog was about as prickly as his namesake, and Shy... was shy. She did conversations like bricks did flight.
"So, any expectations for this one?" I asked. "Because I don't know exactly what we're getting into."
"Not really," Gomorrah said.
"We'll see once we arrive and assess," Hedgehog added.
Shy shook her head.
I started to pray for someone to show up. Anyone who could fill in the conversational void, because this was nightmarishly painful, and I was afraid that if I let things go, we'd start to talk about the weather and taxes.
"Should be a bit cooler up by Quebec," Hedgehog said. He hadn't shifted out of his cross-armed stance yet.
My prayers were answered as a hover car slipped into the far end of the garage. It rumbled in, kicking up a bit of dust before coming to a landing. Unfortunately, my prayers were answered by a cruel and capricious god, because when the door opened, it was Princess who stepped out. "Hi!" she called out across the entire room, high pitched voice bouncing off the walls.
Knight followed her out, moving a little awkwardly in her full plate as she folded herself out of the luxury hovercar.
"Oh boy," I muttered as the pair eventually made their way over. Still, I put on a smile. This was home, and I didn't want to be a terrible host or anything. "Hey, Princess, Knight. Glad to see you."
"Hi, Stray Cat!" Princess said as she skipped over. "Oh, and hi everyone else."
We traded hellos and greetings and all that, then I glanced around and counted heads. "I think this is everyone, right? See, Gom, we're not late."
"We might be, if we don't get a move on," Gomorrah said.
"We're supposed to meet the army at three. That's in like, five hours," I said.
"Yes, and?" Gomorrah asked. "We need to make it there first. We're meeting in the official New Montreal headquarters downtown. There's a rallying point there. That's where we'll be joining Lieutenant Colonel Juno and his forces."
"You mean to say that they're not on the way already?" I asked.
"It's only a few hour's drive from New Montreal to Quebec," Gomorrah said. "Can the ship stay afloat that long?" She gestured to the Bastion with a nod of her head.
"Yeah, of course," I said. "But it'll be a pain to move that slow. We'll basically be crawling through the air if we have to keep pace with troops on the ground."
"That's how it is," Hedgehog said. "You hurry up, only to wait."
"Do we have to keep pace?" I asked. "Like, is there a good reason not to just rush ahead and go check out the city?"
"I doubt Quebec will fall if we arrive just a few hours later," Gomorrah said.
"I mean, sure, but that's no reason to sit on our thumbs all day while the soldiers crawl along."
Princess slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle an undignified snorting laugh. "Y-you can't say things like that, Miss Stray Cat!"
"Sure I can," I said. "I'll say even more shit on the way. Should we get going? Maybe we can stop and grab a bite on the way back? I'm sure some drive-thrus can accommodate the Bastion if I squeeze it in tight enough, and I could really use a coffee for the road."
***
Stray Cat Strut - Volume Seven - A Young Lady’s Guide to Neighbourly Love
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