My imaginary friend is a goddess.

  Well, she was supposed to be one only for the simulated people of this empire building game, but she decided to try and convert me as well.

  “Now charge my divine general and lead us to glory.”

  I did manage to snag quite a high position for myself in this little cult of hers, so I’m playing along for now.

  This was originally meant to be her grand entrance to the realm of video games, since with a turn-based game she can simply order me around and get the feeling of playing despite not being able to hold a controller.

  But now, whether it was due to her sucking or my inability to give advice in a timely manner, she gave up on being the leader and latched on to the religion she named after herself.

  She even appointed me as Her holiness, the divine general Mai, and ordered me to spread her faith across the world.

  I assume she means the game’s world, well at least I hope so.

  Another city now follows the religion of Ami.

  “Excellent, Mai, grant the people of this city a divine gift of gold and food to reward them for their devotion.”

  This is not how the game works at all, but who am I to argue with a divine being.

  I open the leader menu and send a gift of gold to my enemy for absolutely no reason.

  “Fear not my apostle, for I had instructed my general to value your life highly and to avoid unnecessary losses, so put your trust in her and go confidently into battle with those heretics knowing the destiny I personally bestowed upon you is nothing short of victory.”

  Maybe it was because the microphone is incapable of capturing the voice of an imaginary woman pretending to be a goddess, or because there is no such feature in the game, but the pep talk had no effect on the unit’s stat whatsoever.

  Still, it fought bravely even without hearing the revelation of the goddess it followed, and came out as the victor.

  “This game is fun.”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  I’m not sure what you are doing right now counts as part of this game, but I want my promised promotion to an angel, so I won’t argue.

  Units move on the screen and a slew of missionaries surround the enemy’s city.

  They all recite their prayers and praise their imaginary deity under my careful commands, and some of them disappear into nothingness afterwards.

  The screen changes with a press of a button and the victory cutscene starts playing, announcing the religious victory of the followers of Ami.

  “Great job Mai.”

  To get such high praise from a divine being like her, I couldn’t ask for anything more.

  But I will, because I was promised a promotion that comes with some really nice perks.

  Now I can finally get my wings, and that little night light thing above my head.

  “Now, it’s time for you to repent.”

  The missionaries die when they run out of charges, you can’t blame me for that, it’s more of a retirement anyway.

  “I don’t remember hearing any advice coming from you when I played, didn’t we say this is part of your practice?”

  Well, for that you can blame me.

  Forgive me my goddess, or are we done with the religious play now that the game is done?

  “Our goal is for you to be able to hold a conversation, you can’t just avoid talking just because I’m not bugging you about it at the moment.”

  How can I question the will of the goddess, the people would have revolted if I did it.

  Fine, I wanted to give you advice, but by the time I prepared myself emotionally the moment passed and it was no longer relevant.

  It’s not like I can just stop playing for ten minutes on the fourth turn, just so I can have time to give you advice.

  Don’t look at me like you are about to smite me if I don’t say anything, you aren’t a real goddess.

  Threats aside I probably should still apologize, that way I can become a wonderful lamp.

  I mean angel, I can become an angel, not a piece of furniture.

  “S-sorry.”

  “Just keep it in mind for next time, we are doing this for you.”

  Is that all, what about my night light and my emergency provision wings?

  This is how those self help cults get you, they promise a divine survival kit then back out at the last moment.

  “Alright, set it to an easier difficulty this time.”

  I forgot to eat lunch because we were so absorbed in the game and I am kind of hungry, but I’m not ready to say it so one more turn couldn’t hurt.

  The game randomly selects Alexander the Great as our leader for this game and the loading screen starts voicing his introduction.

  “Hmm, this guy is good at war right? don’t forget to teach me this time.”

  The world started anew and the religion that followed her is nowhere to be found, but she seems just as excited as before.

  Her smile when she sits next to me makes me want to try my best to teach her this time, even if I know I'll fail again.