A new day, a new problem…

  Chun Bu is cultivating diligently in the corner of the room—well, technically. He’s been watching ads all night with full focus.

  Hajime looks at the Ring Empress.

  Hajime: “I thought Chun Bu cultivated like a normal protagonist. Why is he watching ads?”

  Ring Empress: “We’re simply using the system mechanics of this world to our advantage. Ads give bonus gacha points on the Kunlad Continent.”

  Hajime nods slowly.

  Hajime: “To each their own, I guess.”

  He pauses, then asks:

  Hajime: “By the way, why is his fiancée from the other world competing in my world’s Saintess competition?”

  Ring Empress: “Good question. I don’t know either.”

  Hajime: “Only his foe knew he fell into the river …”

  A dangerous hunch forms, but Hajime isn’t fully convinced yet—after all, misdirection is practically mandatory in cultivation stories.

  Suddenly a shrieking voice explodes inside his head:

  System: “DEMONIC CULTIVATOR!! HOW DARE YOU SILENCE ME!”

  Hajime: “Listen here, parasite—shut up or I’ll block you from Chun Bu again for a week.”

  The system immediately shuts up.

  Valiant: “A little harsh, but I understand.”

  Caladblock: “Put her back in her place, hon!”

  Whalescalibur: “He’s never spoken to me that way… is there hope?”

  Hajime steps out of the room and enters a surreal scene: rows of tents surrounded by the screams of tortured dungeon souls. Some female cultivators are calmly absorbing the agony to improve their cultivation.

  Hajime: “Yeah… not touching that with a ten-meter pole.”

  He continues toward the elevator, already dreading whatever comes next. He presses the lobby button—but instead, the elevator shoots upward to the Angelic Floor.

  The elevator opens to reveal angels preparing decorations: giant banners of Deus, Elnora, and Hajime—half-naked with censor-light beams over his privates.

  Hajime: “I never approved those banners…”

  Deus appears on a floating monitor.

  Deus: “I did. They’ll sell better.”

  Hajime: “I. Didn’t. Approve. It.”

  Deus: “Elnora did. She’s still your manager hero.”

  Hajime freezes.

  Hajime: “…Crap.”

  The banners remain—much to his suffering.

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  Deus: “Look at these preparations. Adael’s dedication is truly admirable.”

  Hajime: “She’s working overtime for free?”

  Deus: “Overtime, past time, normal time… all the time.”

  Hajime (thinking): Time is too relative to you… its hellish.

  Deus: “Correct on the first part VP.”

  Two new gray hairs sprout instantly.

  Deus: “I state that it is not hell hero, you know its a rather pleasant heaven around here.”

  Hajime: “I really wish I had privacy.”

  Caladblock: “Ara ara, a husband shouldn’t hide things from his wife.”

  Valiant: “Privacy died long ago, Hajime-san.”

  Whalescalibur: “Privacy is an outdated concept.”

  A sudden voice pops awake inside his mind:

  Walletbreaker: “Aaaah, great nap! Hey—what did I miss?”

  Hajime: “Walletbreaker, my better compass—are you awake?”

  Something trembles on his back, but stays quiet.

  Walletbreaker: “Awawa, I’ve been guiding my junior. She’s obedient, but… she may be too competent.”

  Hajime (muttering): “That’s a good thing, you lazy stick.”

  Walletbreaker: “…Yes.”

  Deus: “Hajime, you know that you can talk to your items with your inner voice, right? You look like a lunatic.”

  Everyone stares.

  Hajime: “I don’t care. Might boost ratings for certain demographics.”

  Deus: “A lunatic hero? Actually… such a fresh concept. I feel inspiration burning!”

  She logs off. Hajime’s pinky finger reverts to toddler size.

  Hajime: “I need to stop thinking when she’s around…”

  He reaches the elevator, but someone is already in it. When the doors open, he sees the fox girl.

  Fox Girl: “I finally found you!!! How dare you run from me!?”

  Hajime: “…Who are you again? Have we met?”

  Fox Girl: “Of course we have! You were with the cow!”

  Hajime: “His name is Zeus.”

  Fox Girl: “SEE!?”

  Hajime steps into the elevator and presses the Dungeon button. She stays.

  Hajime: “What do you want?”

  Fox Girl: “Compensation! You touched my tail and that's a… special thing—ANYWAY! Become my fan!!!”

  Hajime: “…Who are you again?”

  Fox Girl: “HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW ME!?”

  Hajime: “You didn’t introduce yourself last time.”

  She freezes, visibly buffering, then slaps her own face.

  Fox Girl: “I am Autumn Amber, lead singer of the Furrutopia Kingdom!”

  Hajime: “Nice to meet you…”

  He inspects her: petite, nine tails, azure foxfire ads, traditional kimono covered in ads for her kingdom and pet shampoo products.

  Autumn: “Stare too long and I’ll have to charge you~” wink

  Hajime: “How old are you again?”

  He never sees the slap coming and gets a red mark on his right cheek.

  Autumn: “HOW DARE YOU ASK A LADY THAT!”

  Hajime: “I thought you looked eighteen? Was I wrong?”

  She chuckles nervously, looking away.

  Autumn: “No no—right, you got me, hahaha…”

  Valiant: “Never ask a lady’s age hero-kun.”

  Caladblock: “Too insensitive hon.”

  Whale: “She’s lying through her teeth.”

  Hajime is stunned by whale’s certainty.

  The elevator dings—they step out, and Autumn still follows.

  Hajime: “Why are you following me?”

  Autumn: “You still owe me fandom! Compensation!”

  Hajime sighs and doubles back into the elevator.

  Hajime: “Fine. To commemorate meeting you, I’ll pledge my fandom… but can you do me one small favor? I’m shy. Turn around—it’ll be more special if you’re not staring.”

  She squeals.

  Autumn: “I knew you had sense! Fine, fine!”

  She turns around. Hajime presses every floor button, steps out as the doors close, and watches her get carried upward alone.

  Valiant: “Smoothly done.”

  Caladblock: “She’s really gullible.”

  Walletbreaker: “Autumn never changes…”

  Whalescalibur: “Excellent. Poachers should not be tolerated in this market.”

  Hajime continues to his room—pleased to have escaped another crisis.