Valiant then says, “Hajime-kun, if you were a god, what would you never, under any circumstance, allow to be altered or added?”
Hajime thinks for a moment. “I need more information to make this call...”
He brings out Whalescalibur, who’s still sulking after her shattered dreams. She sees Hajime and wails, “You! How can you play with a sword’s heart?! Be cursed hero — may you never watch a polishing ad again for the rest of your life!”
Hajime smiles. “I’m already having a great time, but your best wishes are appreciated.”
The sword’s handle grows damp with an audible sniff.
“Are my hands sweaty?” he mutters, ignoring it. Then he says, “Hey, Whale, your business sense is the best among us — you should be proud of that.”
The sniffling stops.
“You know,” Hajime continues, “this is also a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You could get something out of it too.”
The sword begins to glow brighter with each of Hajime’s words.
“Hasn’t Deus screwed you out of opportunities in the past?” Hajime presses. “This contract binds the hero completely to her. I assume that’s limited your ambitions…”
Whalescalibur shouts, “Say no more! I’m in!”
Hajime grins wickedly — the team-up is complete.
The world resets again.
“From all of us here,” Hajime says, “You’re the one who’s interacted with Deus the most. So tell me about her.”
Whalescalibur, suddenly in a gossiping mood, says, “She commissioned my forging back in year 0000 of the KickStartup Era. In essence, she’s my mother.”
Caladblock chimes in, “A bad mother — deserving of punishment.”
Whale continues, “At that time, my first interaction with her was alongside the first hero… his name was… odd, I can’t remember!”
“I asked about her, not the hero,” Hajime says.
“No, this is strange,” Whale replies. “How could I forget my first time?! It’s odd.”
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
Caladblock interjects, “What she says is true — I would never forget you, Hajime!”
Ignoring the side comment, Hajime asks, “What was Deus’ attitude like?”
“It was like watching someone play with a pet,” Whale says. “She molds the story in whatever direction she wants it to go.”
“Interesting. Has any hero ever successfully negotiated with her?”
“All of them were excellent heroes, of course they negotiated!”
“Is there anything she never budges on?”
Whale recalls, “She never wants to be screwed over. Anything that targets her directly pisses her off.”
“Tsk,” Hajime mutters. “She’s not easy.”
“Was Elnora present back then?”
“Of course! She’s the Eternal Saintess.”
Hajime starts to piece it all together. “How much of a micromanager is Deus?”
“She only interacts with the hero at the start, when the ‘story’ demands it, and at the ending,” Whale replies.
“Now I see why the new goddess was needed in her plot,” Hajime says, smirking. “And one last thing — how prideful is she?”
“Extremely prideful,” Whale answers instantly.
Hajime nods. “So Deus is basically a hands-off manager — self-absorbed, obsessed with her own success, and fixated on Elnora. I think I know what we can do.”
“Valiant,” Hajime orders, “cut all the bloat that doesn’t interfere with her overall architecture of what a hero’s story is supposed to be.”
Valiant works fast, deleting about 70% of the text. Deus doesn’t react.
Valiant asks, “What about the goddess you have to take?”
“She’s only my monitor,” Hajime says. “Just modify it so that ‘Hajime’s chosen goddess’ commands are followed with lower priority than Elnora’s or the hero’s wishes.”
Valiant applies the change — the clause trembles, glowing faintly.
“That was close,” she mutters. “She almost noticed.”
“That’s why I raised Elnora’s priority,” Hajime explains. “Deus won’t feel anything’s wrong if we interfere with her subordinates’ responsibilities, as long as it amplifies Elnora’s importance.”
Valiant scrolls down and spots the most problematic clause:
“The hero must marry Elnora to receive a wish.”
Hajime bites his finger. “This one… I can’t change it.”
“It’s true,” Valiant admits.
“What are the penalties for not marrying Elnora?”
“To watch Deus ads and live in the monastery until the end of your days.”
“This… this one’s too much,” Hajime groans.
Whalescalibur then says, “I may suggest something! The ToS permits changing a clause to an older version if… both parties agree to it.”
Hajime looks at the contract again — Deus’s signature is already there; only his is missing. He smirks.
“Deus, do you agree to change this part to the Amanonus section of the contract?”
Far beyond the veil, Deus screams amid her battle with invading ads:
“YEAHHH, DIEEEE INTRUDERS AND LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!”
The contract glows — apparently, that counted as a yes.
Valiant stares. “How did that bull actually work?”
Whale laughs. “The contract only registered the ‘yes’ — the rest probably wasn’t heard! LUCKY!”
The cursed clause now reads:
“Hajime marries the one true heroine and may receive a wish upon completion of all heroic duties.”
Valiant continues, “Heroic duties can be summarized as:
Achieving the highest clout in the mortal world,
Defeating the endgame crisis,
Providing an advancement that changes the world,
Having Elnora as a heroine.”
“We’ve truly reduced everything to a beautiful, concise contract,” Valiant says proudly.
Whale adds, “Indeed. She’s going to hate how much her story diverges from this oversight.”
Hajime takes up a golden feather and signs the contract. It glows brighter than seven suns.
“My eyeeeeees!” he screams, as the world reforms into a godly CEO’s office.