“For god’s sake tell me what’s wrong?”

  But he just continues staring at blank space. he has been so quiet and sad for the past week, barely playing his guitar even. I kid you not when I tell you that he hasn’t uttered a single word for the past few days—his condition’s been getting worse, and I think I know the cause. Serene...

  He became like this the moment she stepped out of this wing. Despite knowing the reason, I don’t bring it up because I know it’ll just make him sadder. Instead, I drape an arm across his shoulder giving him silent company. My poor boy…

  After a while, I get up ruffling his hair. “Take care Nico. And please don’t forget to eat ok.”

  As I’m walking out of his room, I hear a familiar tune coming out of it. I swear I have heard that tune somewhere before, the one Nico’s currently playing on his guitar. It sounds… beautifully tragic, just like he is.

  Him and Serene make quite the pair, don’t they? Loud, chaotic pain and silent suffering.

  After pausing in my tracks for a few seconds, I continue walking again—and this time I hear him hum along with the tune. Not words, just quiet sound, the kind that makes your soul burn in a bittersweet way. Smiling to myself I decide to turn back to him but then I think better of it— that’s the only sound he has made in this entire week.

  ***********************************************************************

  It’s hard to meet a person with whom you made out, especially if you’re supposed to hate him, again. And that, my friend, is exactly what I’m doing right now.

  Riven looks at me smugly, with a hint of arrogance as I work with Dr. Asher to assess his condition. I can feel his gaze on the back of my neck, making my hair stand on end.

  Looking at the previous reports, his condition has undoubtedly improved, but whether that is due to the treatment or because of me, I don’t know.

  Can he stop fucking staring at me?

  I feel annoyed and yet-- so wanted, so desired, as if his gaze is burning through my skin, leaving fire in its wake.

  “Well, seems pretty good. There’s been quite a lot of improvement and if it continues like this, then we might be able to discharge him in two months,” declares Asher.

  At that, my face falls—slightly so, but it does and I have no doubt his did the same too. Discharge? But oh Riven, you’ve become my obsession. This isn’t love, because we didn’t fall in it, we drowned until both of us were gasping for air. Obsession so dark it feels like a sin.

  And even if they do discharge him, I’ll always be watching him, haunting him. I’ll become his most desired dream and most horrifying nightmare.

  But he’ll, want me anyway.

  Because as I said before,

  we didn’t fall in love,

  we drowned in it.

  ***********************************************************************

  “Ever wondered what’s in that part of the hospital?” he asks pointing to the wing under renovation. “meh—just trash and renovating stuff,” I reply.

  After a moment of silence, Riven speaks up again, “I want to go there.”

  I roll my eyes exasperatedly. “Curiosity gets the cat killed, Riven.”

  “I don’t give a damn, I just want to see that area. The past few days have been boring anyway.” Gods, he sounds like a child whining for his favourite toy, and I can’t help but find it endearing.

  After a few sweet nothings and consistent words of persuasion, I finally give in. This dumbass is going to get himself and me killed one day, I swear.

  With a huff I stand up, “Come on then, let’s go. But don’t blame me if we find nothing except trash and a few bird droppings there.”

  He nods enthusiastically, almost with childlike excitement as he follows me to the hospital wing under renovation.

  Entering the place, I momentarily freeze. Fuck—when did they buy this land to include it in the hospital property? I feel suffocated but of course I can’t show it with Riven around, instead I mask it with an air of neutrality.

  Two walls parallel to each other—each of them having hundreds of stories to narrate. A bridge between the ones who ended their own suffering and the ones whose suffering they started.

  This place was super close to the hospital—sure but I never thought they would… you know, include it in the hospital. After all, everyone in town knows what these walls are for.

  “What are all of these?” he runs his hand over the notes stuck on it. I’m brought back to my senses by his voice. “Well, these two walls—they’re like a memorial kind of thing. For the people who thought they had no one to help them out and people who wanted to help but never got the chance to.”

  Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

  “This one,” I point to the right, “before killing themselves, people came here to stick a final goodbye note.”

  “And what about this one?” Riven’s expression is thoughtful, as if he’s looking for something.

  I hope he does not find it…

  “The other one contains notes by people who are alive to the ones who committed suicide.”

  Oh fuck.

  His hand stops over a particular note. “It’s by her…” he murmurs.

  Despite knowing the answer I rest a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving him a look that is the definition of innocence.

  “Elara…” he says looking at the note as if it’s something sacred. I feel a slight pang of jealousy but push it down, knowing this isn’t the time for it.

  Riven on the other hand seems as if he’s on the brink of crying. I can see his adam’s apple bobbing while he swallows hard.

  “It’s that girl, isn’t it? The one which you loved?”

  I give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze “I didn’t expect her note to be here too.”

  But Riven doesn’t respond to anything I say, instead, he has a melancholic expression on his face.

  Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he looks at me with the same haunted look I saw in his eye on the first day.

  Haunted and devastatingly perfect.

  My heart breaks for this boy mourning his lover, but at the same time it is ignited with jealousy too.

  For all the love he gave her

  For all the love I can never have.

  I can see him struggling to keep his emotions in check. “and what about the other wall?” he asks, reluctantly tearing his gaze away from the note. “Here people write notes to the ones who suicided as a way of mourning them.” I know exactly what he’s thinking right now. He wants to write a note to Elara…

  Just like with the first wall, he runs his hands through the notes until it stops above one and I pray he didn’t find what I thought he found.

  But life doesn’t care about your wishes does it? No, it slaps you in the face with your worst nightmare.

  “Who’s Mara Serafin?”

  I walk over to his side looking at the note written by Mara to Elara and my breath catches in my throat.

  “Someday, I hope you understand why I did it but a part of me still wishes it never happened.”

  “The note is written to Elara? Why don’t you write one too?” I ask hoping to pry his attention away from the name written below.

  Mara Serafin...

  And surprisingly, it works.

  I give him sticky note which are always in my pocket, and he writes something down on it. Looking over his shoulder, I am able to see the words written clearly.

  “Elara, you were the moon in my life… but now I think I’ve found the sun. I don’t know whether to chase the sun that gives me warmth or hold on to the moon that makes me rise like tides every time her name is uttered.

  —Riven

  What sun is this guy talking about. I both hope and fear that it is me. One hell of a poetic man, isn’t he? Sticking the note on the wall he looks at me with

  the epitome of composure.

  “I just did that for the sake of it. They’re going to break down the wall anyways, so there’s no point,” he says, trying to convince himself more than me but the look in his eyes betrays him completely. I don’t point any of that out though. He has already been through enough for the day. Making our way out of that room neither of us utter a single word. Fuck...

  we both digged up a piece of our past that was long dead.

  Or maybe it wasn’t… maybe it was waiting for a single trigger to resurface again.

  As we reach the fountain Riven sits on the grass leaning against the cement structure with a sigh. I do the same too because we both need silent company right now more than we ever did.

  “You know,” I speak. “Patients often use this as a wishing fountain.”

  He scoffs “you’ve got to be kidding me. Such childish stuff, grow up Inez.”

  “Not that I believe in it, no one really does. They all make a wish because… well because it’s like a thing. Almost every patient that has ever been here in the past five years has probably made a wish.”

  After a pause he asks “have you ever made a wish?”

  “I’m not a patient Riven,”

  “You could be…”

  I roll my eyes at that while internally hoping the last comment was made solely based on playful bickering and NOT a— any kind of information he shouldn’t know. Because I don’t want whatever happened to people who knew to happen to him.

  “You know what? Fuck it, let’s make a wish.” He pushes himself off the floor waiting for me to join him.

  “What do you want so desperately that you suddenly decided to make a wish hmm?”

  Smiling at me he replies “Well you know what they say about wishes? You aren’t supposed to tell anyone what you’re wishing for or it won’t come

  true. And I desperately want mine to come true...”