The whole world was ice and darkness. I couldn’t see or feel anything else. “So death is cold and dark, go figure.” As a lifelong atheist this was about as expected. But then why could I still think? Trying to move was pointless, all I could feel was cold, and I couldn’t see anything at all. “If this is it I’m in for a long eternity.”

  I felt what sounded like a chuckle and suddenly saw a tiny pinprick of blue light. It grew brighter and brighter until I realised it wasn’t brighter it was closer. A door made of black stone and blue light runes hurtled towards me.

  “AAAHHHHHH” I screamed as it felt like it was about to hit me but stopped at the last second. Still unable to move I could only watch as the doors opened and a shadow stepped out.

  “C??????????????o??????????m????????e???????????????????????????.”

  An impossibly deep voice spoke, the words overlaid with sounds I couldn’t comprehend. A shadowed arm extended impossible distances, and a hand that was also a claw and a tentacle somehow closed around me. My mind felt ready to explode as it took in the reality breaking details changing constantly around me. Suddenly I fell to my hands and knees in a room of dark stone. The floor was vibrant green moss again, but no lake. Looking up the shadowed figure continued to change in ways I couldn’t understand.

  “What on earth is going on?” I shouted at the figure, though honestly I didn’t feel any hostility.

  “A???????????????????????h???????????????,??????????????????????????? ??????????????????E???????????????????n???????????????????g????????????????????l???????????????i???????????s?????????????????????????????h?????????????? ??????????????t?????????????????????????h????????????????e???????????????????n?????????????????????.???????????????????”

  I slapped my hands over my ears as this time the words felt like they would shake my mind loose.

  “My apologies, is this better?”

  I jumped. The voice was still impossibly deep, but understandable now. Taking my hands from my ears and sitting back on my heels I looked up. The room had settled, no longer some horrorscape of ever changing detail. Still made of dark stone, there were now two armchairs and a coffee table below a hanging chandelier. Instead of crystal the stone of the chandelier was more dark stone, causing the torch in the middle to cast shadows across the room. Behind one of the armchairs was a man in a black suit, his head and hands made entirely of dark stone, covered in swirling faint blue runes. He had no features, just a blank head with two glowing blue eyes. They had no pupils or any detail really, other than being spots of light on an otherwise unblemished black glass head.

  “What is happening?” I groaned as I stood.

  “Please sit.” The man gestured to the chair, his voice was like a weighted blanket, calming in ways I didn’t understand.

  “Do I have a choice?” I asked before I could think. Damn my lack of filter, I probably didn’t want to piss off some eldritch horror. Fortunately he only chuckled.

  “Of sitting or standing? Of course, I’ve always preferred sitting when I have a conversation though.” He moved from behind his chair, which was more like a throne of dark stone, with yet more runes carved all over it. As I looked they changed constantly, and I could feel something warping in the back of my mind. “Try to avoid staring Cal, as you are now, it will eventually shatter your mind.”

  I pulled my eyes up with some difficulty and stepped across to my seat. This one was more like my gaming chair, though made of a dark gold or copper metal, stone and moss. The figure sat and waited. Sighing, I sat, the chair surprisingly comfortable for stone and moss. “What is going on, please?”

  “I'm afraid you’re dead, Cal.” The voice was kind but the words felt like they physically hurt.

  “Dead? Was it the blue light that killed me?”

  “Yes and Yes. I’m afraid I must apologise as that could, quite fairly, be considered my fault.”

  “So you killed me!” I sat forward as I tried to make sense of everything around me.

  “Not quite, though I am sorry none the less. More like I left something behind that could kill you, and you activated it, which did kill you.”

  “I’m still counting that as you killing me!” I leant back, finding it hard to believe I was shouting at some magical mystery being of darkness. I’ve been watching too much anime, Chris had always said it was melting my mind.

  “Yes, well, you aren’t the only one. Seems your pantheon is not impressed that I was messing around in their universe. Hence why I’m here.” He leant forward and tapped the table, which grew two cups. Pulling a teapot from what seemed like thin air he poured a clear liquid into each and then pushed one towards me.

  “Let me guess, you are going to offer me reincarnation somewhere else?” I lifted the teacup and sipped it. The being had frozen with the cup halfway to his lips.

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  “Well yes, how did you know?” Finally he took a sip which was weird given I could make out lips on the dark stone of his head and returned the cup to the table, the angle of his head suggested a real curiosity here.

  I sighed again. “We have shows called anime on earth, the concept is wildly overdone but that doesn’t stop us watching it.”

  “A?????n??????????????????????????????i??????????????????????????m??????????????????????????e???????????????. A new word, how interesting.” He sipped again, seeming ignoring the pain on my face caused by speaking that way. “Does this taste right?”

  “No. It tastes like grass. We use a specific leaf, or leaves I guess, there are a few.” I set the cup down.

  “Interesting, let me try again.” The cups vanished into the table, before two more grew, he poured again, this time a good dark colour to the liquid. We both sipped it.

  “Much better.” I’m discussing tea, with a god of some kind, while dead. Could this be weirder?

  “Yes, it could.”

  “Wait, you can read my mind?”

  “Of course, you have no protection.” He snatched a dark stone out of the air and scratched into it with a pen made of blue light. Holding it out it lifted out of his palm and circled above his hand, growing a stone chain necklace. “Here, this will block that.”

  I put it on and he sighed. “Much better, thoughts can be so messy, though you are holding yourself together well.”

  “Probably shock.”

  “Yes, most likely. Now we were discussing you being dead. I’m afraid as you noted you can’t return to your world. Unfortunately you were a true atheist. Though most people believe enough in one god or another that said god can snatch them up, if you’d have died normally that would have been the end of it for you. Unfortunately you were hit with rather a lot of my magic before you died. Silly of you to activate it.” He looked at me and the glowing eyes flared for a moment in what felt like accusation.

  “I take it you mean by bleeding in that cave?” I shook my head “I hate to tell you this but most caves won’t kill you for bleeding in them.”

  “A fair point I suppose. But this one did, and as I said, infused you with rather a lot of magic as it did. This left your pantheon with a bit of a problem. They can’t have a new god just pop up full of magic without anyone believing in them, trust me that causes all sorts of problems. And as you didn’t believe in any of them, truly didn’t believe, none could send you to an afterlife or reincarnate you. Which leaves us here.” He leant back.

  “So I am being Isekai’d” I asked

  “I?????????????s???????????????????????e??????????k?????????????????????????????a??????????????????i??????????????????????'????????????????d?????????????????,???????????????????????????? ??????????a???????????????????n????????????????o???????????t???????????????????h?????????????e????????????r???????? ????????????????????????????n???????e???????????????????????????w????????????????? ??????w???????????????????????o???????????????r?????????????????d?????????????????? ?????????????????????????h?????????????????o??????????w?????????????? ??????????????????????f?????????????????????u???????n???????????????.???????????????????” He chuckled.

  I clamped my hands over my ears, though the pain was less this time. “Please stop that hurts”

  “Sorry.” He stood and walked around the table and I froze as he reached out. He just lifted the necklace and carved something I couldn’t comprehend into it. “That should do it.” He sat again.

  “Yes, you are being ‘Isekai’d’. Normally this would just be a reincarnation with no memories after a quick apology but this isekai of yours has given me some great ideas!” He seemed genuinely happy.

  “Wait so this has happened before? And this time you want to change it?”

  “Yes, though not to me.” He waved a hand dismissively. “And I’m giving you a choice.” He leaned forward and opened his hands, which had a red pill and a blue pill in them.

  “The matrix, really?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “I enjoyed the memory of it.” He chuckled.

  “Wait my memory, when did you have time to watch it?”

  “Time doesn’t flow the same for everyone, it was a memory I absorbed accidentally before you put that on.” He pointed to the necklace.

  “So being Isekai’d, is it a world of swords and magic?” I was almost eager now, though the thought of never seeing my friends or family again made my chest hurt. I shoved the thoughts of my loved ones away.

  “It is. I have a friend who is willing to take you in, since technically I don’t have a world these days. Best say thank you when you find a temple.” He held up a hand and what looked like a seed made of stone floated over his palm. “The world is beautiful, if a little different to your own. Everyone gets a skill at 18, and a number of slots for skills. More slots, more possible skills. People often incorrectly assume more is better than a few harmonious skills. That I will let you figure out. After a bit of back and forth she has agreed to give you ten slots and be reincarnated at 18, so you get a couple of years back, but will already have a skill. That's where this comes in.” He leaned forward and though he didn’t have a mouth I got the distinct impression he was smiling.

  “This is a skill I have come up with. It is unique, and no one else will get the same. If you choose not to accept it you will get one upon reincarnation that she will pick for you.”

  I grinned, “One skill for dying, if you’ve seen my memories you know isekai normally get a few perks.” I leant forward as I spoke.

  “How cheeky.” It felt like he was grinning too, though his blank face gave away no expression. “What do you want?”

  Leaning back I thought about it for a second, to ask for more was basic Anime etiquette but what did I want. Could go for a massive mana pool but I was hoping for that anyway, having been killed with enough power to create a god. Resistances would be good but I could probably skill into them. So speed and strength boosts seemed most reasonable, as I had no idea what the baseline was in this world. I realised what I wanted to go for.

  “Did you see any of the anime with greatswords?” I asked and he tilted his head for a moment.

  “I have now, they seem truly impractical.”

  “Exactly, is it possible to be strong and fast enough to use one.” He didn't respond immediately and the silence made me wonder if what I asked for was stupid but I‘d always loved characters with massive swords.

  He leaned forward and placed the Skill Seed on the table. “I think we can make this work.”