The door beyond the silk-laden path led to a cathedral’s courtyard. A full moon’s glow lit the ivy hanging from the cathedral towers. No enemies greeted us, and Char’s ears weren’t twitching. We were safe for now. That meant the party was waiting inside.

  “Your room, kiddo,” I said. “What do we do?”

  “Uh, go inside. Duh.”

  Good start. Opening the cathedral doors, which were far heavier than expected, triggered a music change. Choral chanting replaced the scuttling maracas. Organ accompaniment added a sense of reverence and grandeur. Char might’ve been the gamer in the family, but I still remembered the 64 and PS1. This sounded like the love child of Bowser and Sephiroth’s final boss themes. Goosepimples rippled down my arm in awe of the spectacle. And, admittedly, in fear of what deserved it.

  The interior design didn’t dampen the anticipation. A sea of shining white pews lay before us. Stained-glass windows decorated each side wall. One depicted Queen Bee in all her matriarchal glory. An ant and termite faced off in the other armed with dueling pistols. Silly, but no less grand.

  A robed figure crouched before the altar at the end of the room. Its body hidden beneath a nun habit save for two scythe-like hands it pressed together.

  Preying Mantis. A killer praying for absolution. He does not like being interrupted! Level: 10. HP: 500/500. MP: 50/50. Weakness: Light. Resistance: Shadow.

  I nudged my wife. “Penny for your thoughts, love.”

  Her steely eyes remained on the bug. “I’m trying to decide if a literal praying mantis is cheeky or just lazy.”

  “Oh, it’s for sure lazy. But the atmosphere really sells it.” I cocked my head toward the pew. “Thinks it’s safe to sit?”

  She shrugged. “You’re room, Nana. Want to sit?”

  Nana hopped over the pew and landed in one fluid motion. Given that the pew was solid wood with no cushioning, it probably wasn’t very comfortable. Her soured expression indicated I was right.

  Char sighed and sat beside her. “What did we learn?”

  “Being cool hurts.”

  Char chuckled softly and relaxed against the back support. “How long has it been since we last went to church?”

  “Easter,” I said sitting beside her.

  She shook her head. “Easter doesn’t count.”

  My feet rested on the row in front of us. “Uh, yeah it does.”

  “No. It doesn’t.” She pushed a finger to my lips. “And I’ll tell you why. Because going to church on Easter is like watching the Super Bowl. We’re not doing it because we like the thing; it’s just tradition. I’m asking when we last went because we actually wanted to?”

  I considered that for a moment. “Christmas Eve a couple years ago. That kid you grew up with—what was his name?”

  She snapped her fingers. “That’s right! Aiden and his family invited us to their church.”

  “Yeah. We kept telling ourselves it was nice and that we’d go back.”

  “But we never did, and we didn’t want to make things awkward by showing up after so much time away.” Char went quiet, but the look in her eye said she had something more to say.

  Her head rested on my shoulder, gazing up at the painted cherubs. “When I was a kid, I dreamed about getting married in a big church. My whole family there. Dad would give me away. And my prince would be waiting for me on a white horse.” She shook her head. “Even without all that, our wedding was still the happiest day of my life.”

  “Let’s do it,” I said.

  “Do what?”

  “Let’s get married here.”

  “Wha—again?”

  “No—well, not exactly. We renew our vows. We can’t do anything about your family, but we’ve got the church and a white horse outside. Let’s do it.”

  She sat up straight and looked me dead in the eye. “You’re serious about this? You’re not screwing with me?”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it, love.”

  Char gasped.

  Nana jumped and pulled out her knife. “What is it, Lady Charlotte? Is the mantis attacking?”

  My wife shook her head and laughed so hard she cried. “No, it’s just… I’m so jazzed right now!” She snatched both my hands and smiled the same smile that made me fall in love with her. “We’ll renew our wedding vows. And this time, I’ll actually come up with something memorable.” She gasped again. “And Nana can be our flower girl.”

  Nana quickly shook her head. “No way am I doing something that girly.”

  “That’s right, Char.” I patted Nana’s head. “She’s a tough little tyke who likes shotguns, shadows and cloaks. She’s not into girly things like weddings and flowers.”

  Kiddo looked like she wanted to argue but wasn’t sure if it was worth the fight. “I think you’re mocking me, but I’m not sure.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I am.”

  Nana countered by yanking down on my arm and—ow! She bit my front two fingers!

  “Let go, you little twerp.” I ripped my fingers from her mouth. Damn, kiddo had some chompers.

  Char slapped the back of my head. “That’s what happens when you make fun of little girls.”

  “Hey! I’m not a little—”

  Char silenced her with a glare. “As for you. He may be an asshole sometimes, but he’s still my asshole.”

  “You wanna try that again, Char?”

  She smacked the back of my head again. “He’s my jerk. And no one’s allowed to bite, slap, kiss etc. him but me. Anyone else who does will be severely punished.”

  Nana let out a squeak and fell on her butt. She tried to play it off by bowing. “Please forgive me, Lady Charlotte.”

  “Hmm…” Char crossed her arms. A telltale smirk appeared on her lips. “I might on one condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “Be my flower girl.”

  Nana looked crushed. Not quite being told Santa wasn’t real. More like no Tooth Fairy. “Is there no other way?”

  “No.” Char’s answer was quick and ruthless.

  Nana muttered something under her breath.

  “What was that?”

  “I said I’ll do it!”

  Her voice echoed throughout the cathedral. For the first time since we entered the cathedral, Preying Mantis moved. A subtle twitch, but it definitely happened.

  Char immediately snatched up her bow. “We’ll continue this conversation later. Nana, to the back.”

  “But it’s my room!”

  “To the back,” Char said again. “Take care of her, Robin.”

  “Ugh, fine.” Nana backflipped off the pews and stuck the landing.

  I whistled and walked around to her side. “Impressive.”

  Nana narrowed her eyes. “You still mocking me?”

  “No. That was legit cool. Bonus points for it not hurting.”

  She stood up straight and flashed a cocksure grin. “Well, of course. The great Shadowcloak is—”

  “Never mind, you lost it.”

  Nana groaned and grimaced. “Why’d I have to get stuck with you?”

  I pointed to the altar. “Because your alternative is that.”

  Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

  Preying Mantis crawled along the ceiling by stabbing its scythe arms into the stone. It moved a lot faster than I expected.

  Char stood on pews several rows down. Not quite in reach of the scythes yet, but it was only a matter of time. Her first arrow was slashed in half. The next two struck the left arm but did minimal damage. Despite the attacks, Preying Mantis continued gunning after Nana and me.

  “Still want to play with the mantis, kiddo?”

  She shook her head. “No…”

  “Then let’s go!”

  I grabbed Nana’s hand and started running. Okay. Big bug was ignoring Char to chase me and the kid. A serving of Buldak would keep aggro off. The question was which of us did it want? Guessing wrong cost ginger and garlic, which I’d probably need to keep us alive.

  Neither of us attacked it yet, so why was it after us?

  “Bird brain.”

  Nana slowed down. I didn’t see fatigue in her eyes. Instead, there was a look Char wore whenever she had a theory and was about to try something dangerous to test it.

  “Nana, whatever you’re thinking, the answer is no.”

  “Too late.”

  She let go of my hand and Flashstepped before I could grab her. She reappeared atop the altar. “Hey!” Nana yelled and stomped her feet. “I’m over here, jerk!”

  Preying Mantis’ head twisted toward her. It hissed and wall-stabbed its way toward Nana.

  Now I understood. It wasn’t damage or aggression that caught its attention. It was sound.

  “Nana, run.” Char unleashed a volley of arrows the mantis didn’t bother blocking.

  “Yeah, on it!” Nana jumped off the altar and bolted toward Char.

  Char quickly shook her head. “No, don’t run toward me.”

  Nana threw up her hands. “Then where am I supposed to go? I can’t run toward the bug.”

  “No, of course not.” Char dashed atop the pews away from Nana. “It only blocks my arrows if it’s looking at me. I need its back turned.”

  “Got it!”

  Nana turned on a dime. She ran parallel from Charlotte and away from the mantis. A pair of clones formed at her sides, each sprinting in a different direction. The Preying Mantis beelined for the original without breaking stride.

  Nana grinned. “Okay, let’s play.” She reached the stained glass wall depicting the ant and termite. She jumped at the wall, ran up the stained glass, and kicked off at the base of the ant’s dueling pistol.

  Shards of stained glass followed Nana into the air. Momentum carried her toward the mantis. Still grinning, she saluted with two fingers and flickered.

  But Preying Mantis was too close and too fast. One scythe-arm caught Nana’s shoulder before she could Flashstep. That attack took out a meaty chunk of her health. She wouldn’t survive many more–especially if it got a crit.

  I applied the Kimchi I made in the last room immediately and prepared another serving.

  One serving of Kimchi provided to Shadowcloak.

  One serving of Kimchi will be prepared in ten seconds.

  120 MP, nine uses of garlic and ginger.

  The mantis dislodged from the ceiling. Its second claw reared back for a potentially grave strike. Charlotte screamed Nana’s name. I did something far more obnoxious.

  “Hey!” I yelled, banging my wooden spoon against a frying pan. Each clang echoed throughout the cathedral.

  Preying Mantis’ head swiveled toward me. I tossed the frying pan on the ground for another loud clang and pointed the spoon at the bug’s heart.

  “Get away from her, you bitch!” Oh, yeah. That felt awesome.

  Preying Mantis’ tore the first claw from Nana’s shoulder and wall-stabbed its way toward me. So, I started running knowing full well it would catch me. Just needed to distract it long enough for Charlotte to get the kill.

  “Get. Away. From. My.” Char accentuated each word with an arrow to the mantis’ back. Electricity crackled around her body, encasing her next arrow. “HUSBAND!”

  Preying Mantis turned just as Char fired. Twin claw swipes cut the arrow in half. Electricity jumped from the arrow to the mantis. Sparks emanated from the big bug, and it twitched in place. A lightning bolt icon flashed beside its name.

  Paralysis: A status effect that is simply stunning! A paralyzed target cannot move for ten seconds. Paralyzed targets do not take more damage from each hit.

  Char fired a finger gun with a cocksure smirk, and the mantis crashed to the ground on cue. She ran her left hand through her hair and gave it a good flip. “What do you think of my Bug Zapper?”

  “I think the mantis still has over half a health bar!” I called.

  Char grimaced. “I know that, but it’s paralyzed. This gives me a moment to showboat.”

  I wasn’t convinced that was a good thing. Nana went for style points and almost got killed. I crossed the cathedral to check on the kid. Her shoulder wound wasn’t too deep. Bit of blood but nothing to make me squeamish.

  “Is it okay for me to scream now?” Nana asked.

  Not in her condition. Even if her wound wasn’t too bad, the same couldn’t be said for her health. The Kimchi stabilized her, but she might not survive more than two hits. Even that felt risky.

  “Nah, you’re too cool for that,” I said, offering my hand.

  “Really?” She asked.

  I nodded and helped her to her feet. “No bullshit. The stained glass thing was cool.”

  She gripped her injured shoulder. “I didn’t lose points for getting hurt?”

  “That depends. What did you learn?”

  “No showing off until the fight’s over,” she grumbled.

  “Then no points lost. Just wisdom earned.” I offered my hand again. “High five?”

  She jumped and slapped her hand against mine. The sound reverberated like a bell through the cathedral. Oops.

  Nana shoved me just in time to avoid a scythe-arm plunging from the ceiling.

  Damn bug was already moving again. Despite her showboating, Char did a number on its health. About a third remained. Our best bet was to keep it occupied while Charlotte picked it off from afar. And with kiddo’s precarious health, it was on me to stay bait.

  “Thanks, Shadowcloak.”

  Nana perched upon the nearest pew and patted my head. I appreciated her bailing me out; I could do without the smirk.

  “That’s Lady Shadowcloak to you.”

  “Don’t push it, Nana.”

  She snickered, hopped off the pew and hit the ground running. I clumsily backpedaled toward the door.

  The next claw swipe missed me but hit the nearest pew. The wood exploded into a cloud of dust and splinters. Preying Mantis eyed me through the dustcloud. It shed the habit, revealing a cadaver-like exoskeleton. Disrobing made its frame notably smaller. And, if I knew anything about video games, it was going to be much faster.

  It scuttled forward–scythes swinging at a fever pace. A sharp shhng slashed the air each time the blades touched. This would’ve been a lot cooler if it weren’t trying to kill me.

  Or if I’d been fast enough to escape it.

  I didn't feel the scythe pierce my shoulder. Instead, I felt profound peace as everything went black and still. No pain, numbness or fear. An empty blank void bereft of all but my fleeting consciousness.

  Brilliant flashes of white and red jolted my senses. I saw Charlotte and Nana fighting the mantis. Heard the wet squish of arrow piercing thorax. I breathed the pews' musty smell and tasted stale air.

  Worst of all, I could feel.

  If the wasp’s sting was a knife coated in electricity, the mantis’ arm was a molten firepoker. Burning pain spread up my forearm to my elbow. Veins writhed in fire. I felt flesh peeling back, but my arm remained still.

  "You... really shouldn't have done that," I said through gritted teeth. My two choices were talk shit or scream, and it was really hard not to scream. "By foolishly... stabbing me..." I gripped the mantis' elbow with my free arm. "You can't escape."

  My hand combusted. The mantis' wings flared, and a sharp electric hum rang in my ears. It disoriented me like a flashbang. Luckily, I didn't need to see or hear to hold on tight.

  115 MP to go.

  The mantis ripped its scythe from my arm. Another bout of disorientation dulled the pain, but it still hurt. I growled rather than scream, though I doubted it was very intimidating.

  It reared back for another grim swipe.

  An arrow punctured the mantis’ neck. Electricity surged throughout its body, paralyzing it once more. Looming shadows appeared behind the mantis. A knife's glint reflected in the stained glass shards. The shadow moved thrice, and the mantis collapsed.

  My senses took a moment to stabilize. The amorphous shadow took the form of a platinum-haired girl.

  "You alright, bird brain?”

  Aside from the burning pain, crippling fatigue, and ongoing delirium? "Eh, I've been worse. Thanks for the save. You girls saved my ass."

  "Of course. It'd be bad form to lose my husband." Char stood beside me with an outstretched hand. "Especially when I promised nothing bad would happen to him."

  I took her hand; she yanked me into a tight hug.

  "I got worried for a moment there," she whispered. "Don't ever worry me again."

  "Aw, you really do care."

  Her grip tightened uncomfortably. “Promise me, Robin.”

  "I promise not to worry you." I pecked the crown of her head. "By the way, I don't remember you having electricity powers."

  Char snickered. "I leveled up in the last room. Got a new Affinity Skill.”

  I hadn't been so fortunate. Auro didn't divide experience evenly amongst a team. Rather, experience was dished out in proportion to a player's merit. Char explained the game considered several factors; the amount of damage dealt or healed, the impact of any buffs, the duration of aggro, and clutch actions.

  The purported goal was to encourage active participation and friendly competition. Realistically, Char implemented a system that benefited her play style. The impact of a buff or how clutch a heal was left room for debate. Damage numbers were cold facts. Even though she and I were often at the same level, her experience was usually higher than mine.

  “And it’s extra effective against bugs?” I asked.

  “Extra effective against anything not resistant or immune. Currently I can give anything I touch an electric charge. At higher levels I should be shooting lighting bolts–”

  "I got the parts for my guns!" Nana held a severed mantis arm above her head. She ran in a tight circle, while the arm flopped and sprayed juice from its socket.

  "Yes! Yes, yes! I got it! I—” She stopped when she noticed Char and I staring.

  “Don’t stop showboating on our account,” I said. “You waited until it died, and you saved my sorry ass. You earned it, kiddo.”

  Nana raised an eyebrow. “Really? No mean sarcasm this time?”

  I shook my head. “Fresh out.”

  Nana beamed at me. “Yes, I did it!"

  I followed Nana's lead and looted what I could from the mantis.

  Mantis Wings x2.

  Felt better taking this than a pulsating egg.

  Char sighed. "I'd call that a job well done. Nana, are you ready?"

  "For the next room?"

  Char grimaced. "To leave. We got the parts for your weapons, didn't we?"

  "Yeah, but there's still another room to explore." Nana held up a small key. "Got this when I killed the boss. Don't ya wanna see what it opens?"

  "Not especially," Charlotte said through gritted teeth.

  "Hold on, Char. I seem to recall you saying this is Nana's room. And if she wants to keep going, then I say we should. Unless you're still scared of bugs."

  "I'm surprised you're not after the abuse you've taken."

  “Oh, hon, I'm terrified. I've been impaled twice and seen a demon bee crawl toward me. Who knows what creepy crawlies await us in the last room?"

  "And that makes you want to proceed because..."

  I sighed. "Because adventure. Kid's right. We got a key and know where the locked door is. Gotta see what’s on the other side. I've taken a beating and want a cool reward."

  "Yeah, bird brain gets it!" Nana jumped and fist bumped me. "You in Lady Charlotte?"

  The grimace didn't leave her face but she extended a closed fist. "Fine."

  "Team fist bump?" I asked brushing my hand against hers.

  "Team fist bump!" Nana said, punching her hand against ours.