“Listen, I’ve heard a lot of stupid people give dumb excuses why the System fucked this place up. The facts are simple. Anyone who could create the System has god-type power. Capital G-O-D type power. Calling all the shit it caused, the Wasted War, just a mistake – that’s a fucking excuse for losers who think the world is fair or some real dumbass shit like that.
"Face the facts, y’all. The System isn’t fucked by mistake – it’s fucked because they wanted it to be fucked! They wanted it to fuck us! Why? Entertainment! This is science – just like using a magnifying glass to burn an ant is science! It’s fun for everyone except the ant! And I bet the Beeblebroxians are out there, paying their corporate overlords for the privilege of laughing their asses off while watching us burn!”
- Demophon Kerner, overheard at a party shortly before he was thrown out for the third time
[AMAZING! THE ADVANCED CLASS OFFERED TO YOU TODAY IS: GUNNER! THERE’S NOTHING MORE AMERICAN THAN GUNS, SO WHAT CLASS COULD BE MORE PERFECTLY PATRIOTIC THAN THE GUNNER?!]
Well, that’s… something. I mean, obviously it’s a combat Class, and it’s an Advanced Class too, which is good, but… come on. Guns? Guns are lame. Guns are what they give kids and non-combat Classes to try and hold off a monster long enough for a real badass to cut its head off with a sword or blast it with a Lighting Bolt! All that time I spent training with swords, and spears, and well, everything except for guns, and of course this fucking System wants to make me a Gunner!
“Can you tell me anything else about the Gunner Class?”
[THE GUNNER CLASS MAY CHOOSE ONE OF THREE STARTING WEAPONS SKILLS: DUAL PISTOLS, SHOTGUNS, OR RIFLES!]
“Uh, I know what pistols are, and I’ve heard of rifles, but what the fuck is a shotgun?”
[A SHOTGUN SHOOTS MANY SMALL PROJECTILES WITH EVERY SHOT! WHY FIRE JUST ONE BULLET AT A TIME WHEN YOU CAN FIRE MANY SMALLER BULLETS ALL AT ONCE? IT’S PRACTICALLY THE AMERICAN WAY!]
OK, fuck the System, but I have to admit that sounds kinda badass. I just… never really thought guns were an actual thing for real fighting. I mean, I don’t think there’s anyone with a combat Class in town that uses a gun. Bows, crossbows, and Spells for range, swords, maces, knives, spears, all that stuff for melee, that’s what the Guard uses, and the dungeon-jacks carry axes…
“System, is Gunner some kind of rare or special class? Why have I never heard of it before?”
[NOT AT ALL, CITIZEN ZIMMERMAN! EVERY CLASS IS SPECIAL, AND GUNNER IS JUST AS SPECIAL AS ANY OTHER ADVANCED CLASS! THAT IS TO SAY, MORE SPECIAL THAN A STANDARD CLASS AND LESS SPECIAL THAN A SUPERIOR CLASS! I CAN ONLY SPECULATE THAT YOUR EDUCATION WAS LACKING!]
Waste it, the System really is an asshole. OK, breathe. So, my options are a shitty but safe non-combat Class, probably stuck for years in a town I hate working for the company that got my parents killed. I could take Enchanter and maybe get rich after spending ages studying. I could take Devoted Squire, a Class that the System admitted is meant to go out and kill people for a government that’s been dead for hundreds of years. Or, I take an Advanced Class I know almost nothing about, get dumped into the Advanced Tutorial and probably maybe die. I guess when I put it like that the choice is obvious, right?
“What Skills does the Gunner get?”
[AT LEVEL 0, THE GUNNER LEARNS THEIR CHOSEN CLASS WEAPON SKILL, ALONG WITH THE GENERAL SKILLS INVENTORY, INSPECT, AND IDENTIFY! FURTHER SKILL OPTIONS ARE NOT DETERMINED AT THIS TIME!]
“That sounds simple enough, but which weapon Skill is the best?”
[EVERY WEAPON SKILL IS EXCELLENT IN THE HANDS OF THE RIGHT WIELDER, CITIZEN!]
Come on, unhelpful much?! Still, I had one of those shitty Level 0 pistols that the town gave out to all the kids, and that thing was trash. I definitely don’t want pistols!
“What are the advantages and disadvantages of shotguns compared to rifles?” I asked, hoping for some actually useful information.
[RIFLES ARE MORE ACCURATE AND EFFECTIVE AT LONGER RANGES THAN A SHOTGUN! ON THE OTHER HAND, THE SHOTGUN IS FAMED FOR ITS STOPPING POWER IN SHORT-TO-MEDIUM RANGE ENGAGEMENTS!]
Good enough. If half the people that try the Advanced Tutorial die, then I just have to finish in the top 50%, right? I’m pretty sure that’s how math works. So, I just need to pick whatever I think is going to get me out of here alive.
I looked around the small room and guessed that I wasn’t going to be doing a lot of long-range shooting. Also, that sounded harder. Shotguns it is…
“I want to be a Gunner, and I want the Shotguns Skill!”
[THAT IS EXCELLENT NEWS, CITIZEN! INITIATING THE ADVANCED TUTORIAL, STAND BY!]
As the echo of the System shouting in my head died off, I saw the first Quest message of my life appear in front of me.
New Quest: Advanced Tutorial
Required Objectives: Survive the Tutorial
Rewards: Bonus Skill, Exit Portal
The soft lighting of the featureless room seemed to flicker and dim momentarily. I stood on shaking legs, adrenaline flowing through me as I realized that yes, I was really doing this.
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Deep breaths Az, deep breaths. Also, the reward is just one Skill? That’s what everyone gets, even for the Basic Tutorial! I noted the cool, strangely odorless feel of the air as I inhaled and felt a sudden chilliness around me – wait, why is the floor so cold?!
I let out an indignant squawk as I looked down in panic, seeing bare, light brown flesh instead of the sturdy almost-white shirt and freshly washed jeans I’d been wearing. My patched boots were gone too, my feet cold on the hard stone floor. Even my hair tie was gone, my dark hair falling down past my shoulder blades, tickling my back, not to mention my underwear.
“What the Wastes is going on?! Where are my clothes?” I shouted at the System.
[IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE FAIRNESS OF THE ADVANCED TUTORIAL, NO EXTERNAL ITEMS ARE PERMITTED! YOUR BELONGINGS HAVE BEEN PLACED IN YOUR INVENTORY AND WILL BE ACCESSIBLE TO YOU ONCE YOU COMPLETE THE TUTORIAL!]
“Are you telling me I have to fight monsters NAKED?!”
[THAT IS STRICTLY OPTIONAL, GUNNER ZIMMERMAN! IF YOU WISH TO FIGHT IN THE NUDE, YOU MAY SELECT A SECONDARY WEAPON OR UTILITY ITEM INSTEAD OF ARMOR AS YOUR SECOND CLASS ITEM!]
I sighed in relief.
“Nonono, I want armor! In fact, can I have my armor first?” I asked in a very calm and mature voice.
[VERY WELL, GUNNER! MANIFESTING YOUR CLASS ARMOR… NOW!]
I felt a strange crawling sensation wash over me, starting from between my shoulder blades and then flowing out and around me in all directions. I watched in amazement as a thin layer of dark fabric flowed over my shoulders, around my chest, and down my arms and legs. It took only a few seconds for me to be covered from wrists to ankles in a tight, black material, thicker than my jeans, yet somehow more flexible as well.
I twisted and turned and swung my arms around, finding that it fit me perfectly and moved easily with me. It was by far the most comfortable thing I’d ever had on, so much better than the never-quite-the-right-size second or third-hand clothes I was used to.
Lifting my arm to get a better look at the material, I felt relieved not to be naked anymore. Not that I was ashamed of my body or anything, it just felt… safer, having something protecting me. Even if it was pretty thin. I was glad that I would eventually get my clothes back though, because even though I was technically covered it was more like a second skin than regular clothes.
“System, tell me about my armor,” I requested.
[NO CAN DO, CITIZEN! THAT IS WHAT YOUR NEW INSPECT SKILL IS FOR!]
Oh yeah, I knew that. I learned that in school one day when I was definitely not daydreaming about fighting monsters... Looking at my covered arm again, I focused, concentrating on the word Inspect, and felt a strange tingling shiver go through me as the Skill activated.
Item: Gunner Class Armor Baselayer
Baselayer Capacity: Medium-Light
Armor Components: None
Mods: None
Condition: Excellent
I giggled slightly at the words displayed in front of me, appearing to float in the air a short distance in front of my eyes. I reminded myself to focus. This wasn’t a game – die in the Tutorial, and that was it. There was no one else here to get my body out, not that Sunland had a Healer capable of using Revive anyway.
The baselayer was just the starting point for my armor, so it didn’t look like much – or offer a lot of protection – by itself. I needed to find or buy armor components to attach to it. The capacity meant I had to use components of either light or medium-light weight. Lost in thought for a moment, I jumped in surprise when the System’s voice blasted into my skull again.
[VERY GOOD, GUNNER! NOW LET’S MANIFEST YOUR CLASS WEAPON! PLEASE HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS AND STAND BY!]
Grinning, I followed directions. A moment later the air shimmered and my new shotgun dropped into my hands. My grin stretched even wider as I examined the heavy, dark metal weapon gleefully. It was much bigger than I’d expected, probably around three feet in length, and its weight made my old pistol feel like a toy in comparison.
I could feel my Shotguns Skill taking effect as new knowledge flowed through my brain. The names of each part of the weapon came easily to me as I looked it over. Butt, grip, trigger, ejection port, loading port, magazine, forearm, barrel, sights, muzzle. It felt natural to wrap my right hand around the grip, my left shifting to the forearm, as I tucked the butt into my right shoulder and looked down the sights.
[WONDERFUL! SINCE YOU HAVE SELECTED SHOTGUNS AS YOUR SKILL, YOU ARE ELIGIBLE TO DISPLAY YOUR CLASS AS ‘SHOTGUNNER’ INSTEAD OF ‘GUNNER’! WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE THAT CHANGE NOW?]
“Uh, does it actually do anything different?” I responded.
[NOT AT ALL! UNLESS YOU COUNT INTIMIDATING YOUR FOES BY ADVERTISING YOUR DEVASTATING WEAPON OF CHOICE!]
“Shotgunner is too long, I’ll stick with Gunner,” I decided. It didn’t seem like a big deal either way.
[EXCELLENT, GUNNER! LET’S TEST OUT THAT WEAPON!]
I heard a grinding noise to my side and whirled around to see a section of the wall slide aside, revealing a dark doorway. The motion flung my hair around and I tried to blow it out of my eyes as I jerked my gun around and aimed it right at the middle of the opening. A skittering sound came from the dark, out of sight.
A moment later I spotted a hint of movement and a short, ugly green creature came rushing through the doorway. A goblin, I realized, as I squinted my left eye to make sure I lined up the sights on its scrawny, naked chest. I squeezed the trigger hard and to my horror it didn’t budge.
Shit, the safety is on, hurry hurry it's getting closer! I slammed my thumb up, pushing the safety forward, the charging goblin halfway across the room now. I pulled the trigger frantically this time and -
BOOM!
The shot was the loudest thing I’d ever heard. The sound hammered off the hard, close walls, dazing me briefly even as the recoil slammed the butt into my shoulder, driving me back a step in surprise. Mechanically, operating on pure Skill, my left hand pumped the action, the spent shell flying out of sight to my right.
click-click!
My shot had caught the goblin in the thigh, completely shredding its leg and knocking it to the ground. I gulped in shock at the sight of half the flesh of its upper leg ripped away, dark blood everywhere, a piece of bone exposed to the chill air. Somehow it was still alive, oversized black eyes locked onto my face. Its breath hissed through a mouth full of viciously sharp yellowish teeth. It pushed itself onto its hands, claws scratching at the floor as it started to drag its broken body towards me with feral determination.
Swallowing a suddenly dry throat, I aimed carefully this time, right at the middle of its ugly face, and pulled the trigger again.
BOOM!
I managed one look at the mangled now-corpse, its head caved in where my shot had hit, before I stumbled back away from the body and threw up in the corner of the room. At the same time, I felt a weird prickling sensation flow through me. I’d gained my first Essence.
