Rynn was the first to say it. “If it’s Freek, I will break every bone in his body. I will tear his core out and piss on it.”

  Ames quietly took the elf girl’s hand. It was something that Midj might’ve done.

  “Where’s Settie?” Gray asked.

  Tomi shrugged. “She didn’t come home at all. Maybe they’re together, but I don’t think so. Could she be at the archive?”

  “Or the canteen,” Ames suggested. “Someplace where there’s food. Maybe the marketplace.”

  Rynn was in her nightgown, and she flung it off.

  Tomi lifted a hand to shield her eyes. “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I’m not that kind of kitty. We have a crisis here. No need for nudity.”

  Rynn just snarled. “We’ll wake up Third Barracks. We will tear this place apart. We have to find her.”

  Then Gray knew where she was. “Hold on. You guys check First Field. I’ll check the marketplace. We’ll meet back here. We have to sleep. We don’t want to start Soulshred Week with no sleep.”

  Tomi grunted out a sarcastic laugh. “Shouldn’t we pre-shred our souls a bit?”

  “No,” Gray said. “Let’s keep our spirits. If both Midj and the captain are gone, it only makes sense that they’re together.”

  But it didn’t. Settie would have strapped Midj to her bed. And it wasn’t as if Settie liked staying up late chatting. Centuries of life had not improved the ancient dragon woman’s people skills.

  Gray dressed quickly, grabbed his stick, and was out the door in seconds.

  Rynn grabbed him, fully dressed herself. “If you find her, I’ll know. And if you find her, let me know, okay? We have our bond.”

  He kissed her cheek with Ames watching. “I will. Don’t worry.”

  Rynn frowned. “If she’s missing, we can’t compete. We’ll have to drop out. What will happen to us then?”

  He smiled. “We can do anything we want. We’re unstoppable.”

  It was Ames that said, “Because we’re inseparable.”

  Gray and Rynn turned to her. “That’s right.”

  Gray hurried away from their room, down the steps, and across the campus. The sleepy Fieldkeeper at the gatehouse hardly gave him a second glance.

  Gray half-ran through the streets, praying he was right.

  At the pit in the market, he made the right down the alley and through Settie’s wards.

  He pushed through the secret door in Ruin Manor’s cellar and then smelled the cooking. He sighed in relief.

  “I found her, Rynn. You can stop looking.”

  It wasn’t as if his bonded could hear him, but a second later, he felt what she was feeling—pure relief.

  He found her in the kitchen, frying up little round pancakes stuffed with apples and raisins.

  “Midj, what are you doing?”

  The little goblin woman stiffened. She turned. “Gray. Mother’s oven, what are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you.”

  “Found me. Had to cook. Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t do anything—” her voice was cut off by a sob.

  Gray went to her. “Midj, everyone is so worried about you.”

  Her breath caught, and then, she was crying hard, as she turned her stuffed pancakes. One after another.

  Gray finally had to take her pan out of her hand, and then her spatula. He moved the pan away from the main burner.

  That was when Midj threw her arms around him and cried and cried.

  They ended up on the floor, with his back to a counter near the stove, and her on his lap. He held her as his wept, her body shaking. He’d rarely seen someone so upset.

  What could he do but hold her? There was nothing he could say to soothe her because he had no idea what was wrong.

  At least they were warm, right next to the stove, burning a bit of wood and lust rock. They had a cozy little nest for her to feel her feelings.

  It took a long time, but finally, she eased herself back. “We should eat. I won’t finish the batch, though that’s hard on me. Tossing away the batter just might kill me. Them apple fritters are best with charbrew, or even better, a big tall glass of milk, all creamy and smooth. But we’ll have to make do. These are trying times.”

  She looked at him with her big watery eyes. “Will you eat with me, Gray?”

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  He nodded. “As long as you tell me what’s wrong.”

  She shrugged. “It can’t be fixed. I got a letter. I shouldn’t have read it. I knew what it said anyway.”

  “I have a letter like that,” Gray said with a bitter little laugh. “Only I don’t know what it says just yet.”

  They sat down and started eating the round greasy, fruity pancakes. She sprinkled powder sugar over them in big piles. They ate them with well water since they didn’t have milk, and Gray wasn’t going to risk drinking coffee in the middle of the night. They had to get back to the barracks to sleep.

  Midj’s mood improved as she ate. “You must think I’ve lost all my frosting.”

  He chuckled. “You have frosting all right. If not, we have this mixture.” All the powdered sugar mixed with the grease to create a kind of frosting for their pancakes. It was so sweet and delicious!

  Mana swirled around Midj as she ate, filling her core, and thickening her body right before his eyes.

  “It’s just something my pa would say,” Midj said. Then she had to put her fork down so she could cry.

  “What’s wrong, Midj?” Gray made sure his voice was soft and gentle.

  Midj got up, moved her chair close to him, and then climbed back on. She held his hand while she ate. “I feel so weak and dumb, Mr. Fade. I’m being silly, I know, but I can’t help it.”

  Gray laughed a little. “You’re still not help me understand. Let’s put all judgement aside for the moment. What’s wrong?”

  “My parents…my family.” Midj cried more. She wasn’t even able to eat, but she still held her fork. She finally stopped sobbing to sigh. “I really got my hopes up they’d come. I know, Soulshred Week isn’t like Culling Day, and neither is the Reckoning, since it’s not just one day. They’ll come for graduation. That would make me feel better. I just miss them, so. But Mama said they couldn’t leave the restaurant. And Papa even wrote me a little note, saying he loves me. And my brothers and sisters, they doodled and wrote nice things, and they’re behind me one hundred percent. It’s all nice, sure, but they’re not here. I miss like my heart might break, Gray. I miss them like it might kill me.”

  And the more crying started.

  Gray couldn’t just sit and watch her cry. He got her in his lap and held her as she wept more.

  Not even food was helping. This was serious.

  He waited until the worst of the crying was over before he spoke. “I wish I could offer you some words of wisdom, but I’ve never had what you have. Growing Up, I did have a kind of mother, but she had a hundred other children to look after. The only father I’ve ever known was a wise old beggar in a marketplace, but I’m pretty sure he’s dead now…only because he talked to me after I stole a necklace, a necklace I should probably sell. It’s probably cursed.”

  He'd strayed from his point, which was probably okay. What he said probably wasn’t important. How he said it was. It seemed just the found of his voice was making her feel better.

  “My point is, Midj, is that your sadness means you are loved. I’m sorry you are sad. I’m not sorry that you come from such a big family that loves you.”

  Midj pushed herself away from him and looked into his face. “My family is big and crazy, and sure there’s love, but there’s also hate. We fight and talk smack about each other, and we’ve had big fights. Pa isn’t the easiest to get along with, and Ma sometimes should be tougher on some of my brothers and sisters. The youngest ones had it too easy, and it shows.”

  Gray smiled. “You might as well be speaking another language. I don’t get at all what you are saying because the fucker in charge of the gladiators was never easy on anyone. The only kindness he showed me was that he stopped beating me after I passed out. Then he would just laugh at me the next time. Being laughed at was better than being beaten.”

  Midj didn’t say anything for a long time. “Well, that’s just terrible. I’m going to get off your lap now because, uh, I’m probably heavy, and I’m feeling better, and you already have two girls in love with you. You don’t need a third.”

  She slid off and got back on her chair. “That’s just embarrassing.”

  Gray was about to try and soothe her more, but she held up a hand. “That’s enough. I’m fine now. And I’m sorry I talked about love because you’re a human, and I’m a goblin, and Pa would lose his potatoes if he even thought I looked twice at a man who wasn’t a goblin. Oh, Gray, you must think I’m weak.”

  He only laughed. “What I think doesn’t matter. All I know is that you’re tough, strong, and I wouldn’t play a single game of Chaotica without you. And you’re the best cook I’ve ever met. Outside of Gorgonzola of course.”

  “Ouch!” Midj wiped tears from her face and went back to eating. “Why would you go and compare me to a god like that? Gorgonzola is the best of the best. Coming in number two is just fine with me.”

  They talked more, and Gray didn’t push her to eat faster, but he also didn’t have them dawdle.

  Yellow eventually came trotting in—he shook himself and then realized they were there, and went crazy. The dog couldn’t get enough pets from his people, first Gray, and then Midj, and then back to Gray. He ate all the leftovers, of course, and Gray died a little. He hated leaving the dog, but there was no help for it.

  He and Midj got back to Third Barrack in the darkness of night.

  The Fieldkeeper waved him through—the orc was oddly awake. Even more strange, there was a ton of light in the practice fields as well as some chatter. Gray chalked it up as being the Magistrate and the powers-that-be getting ready for the start of Soulshred Week the next day.

  Back at Third Barracks, Midj motioned for him to come down to her level.

  When he did, she hugged him. “Thanks, Gray. Sorry for scaring you and the team. I thought about going to try and cook in the canteen’s kitchen, but I’m pretty sure Dame Hekla would’ve cut me up and put me in the eggs.”

  “It’s okay, Midj,” Gray said.

  He had to smile because even though Midj had just hugged, she reached out and grabbed his hand.

  “Good night, Gray.”

  “Good night, Midj.”

  He then slipped into his room. Ames seemed to be sleeping, but it was fitful. She murmured something, something about the sea of souls, and he wondered if she was at the place of stars and water.

  He thought Rynn might be sleeping as he climbed into the top bunk, but a second later, she reached up to take his hand.

  She squeezed it twice and then withdrew. “Is Midj all right? I know she’s sad, but there’s something else.”

  “Love,” Gray said. “She misses her family. She was hoping they’d make the trip to Pit City to see her during Soulshred Week. Maybe just the opening and closing ceremonies. It kind of broke her heart that they’re not here.”

  “I understand that,” Rynn said.

  “I do too,” Gray lied. He could only imagine what it would be like to be surrounded by people who loved and cared for him.

  Then he realized that he had that—not with his family but with his squad. Even Settie had her place as the cold and distant mother who loved them but didn’t know how to show it. He remembered how her eyes had filled with tears when Midj had said her presence comforted her.

  With that thought in his head, and his belly filled with the fried apple pancakes, he let go enough to sleep.

  He was only asleep for an hour, maybe less—probably less—when there was a huge horn blast that shook third barracks.

  Then someone was coming through the hall, pounding on their doors with cudgels.

  A loud voice, magically amplified, shook the world. “All is the Testing.”

  A chorus answered. “And all is the Test!”

  “We shred the souls of our recruits!” that single voice shouted. It was familiar. It was the Magistrate.

  And his Fieldkeepers, dozens of them, finished the rhyme. “To find the best!”

  “Rise and shine, recruits!” the Magistrate thundered. “Welcome to the Soulshred!”

  It was a little after three in the morning, and the torture had just begun.