Johannes Volkner bid farewell to hunger... And to quiet mealtimes. Having invited Suzuka along for his lunch, he found himself heading not to the mess hall, but to one of the smaller rooms oftentimes used either for briefings or occasional leisure. He could have taken his food back along to his room, of course, but he'd rather not risk spilling a mess on anything in there and having to clean it. Looking down though, he couldn't help but lament that ramen and freeze dried pork was a rather crummy meal. He sighed internally, wishing that there was a rune array to establish less of a food scarcity on board with Heliopolis's limited agricultural potential.

  Glancing to his left, Suzuka was sipping away at a smoothie she'd smashed together in one of the kitchen's blenders, glancing around the walls of the room. She had taken a seat right beside him - notably, despite the existence of at least ten other chairs she could have taken...

  "Johan, how are you holding up~? Weren't you safe staying back in the workshop? Is the ramen any good? Well, no, probably not. Sorry... I didn't do a good job back there, the whole thing was a mess. That guy was just a really terrible matchup for me."

  He sighed gently, figuring that this meal could've been pretty good with lighter conversation, but it seemed this was going to be a heavy one. Still, he flashed her a quick smile as he tried to reassure her. "I'm fine, really, I was safe in the workshop. As for you, Suzuka... You did just fine. You tried, and you ended up hampered by what appeared to be friendly fire-" He couldn't help but feel a shiver down his spine at the burnt state she'd been in, almost certainly caused by Joan d'Arc as opposed to the actual enemy. "-and an inability to receive much proper support from your Caller. So... It's not that you'll do better next time. It's that we'll do better next time, okay? You know to watch out more for Joan, and I'll be better able to support you with my usual defenses up."

  He still couldn't help but feel that she was sitting a bit too close, considering they had the entire room to themselves... But that was just how some people were. Some preferred personal space, while others never really got the concept, and she was clearly in the latter camp. Not that it was particularly an issue, given that summoning a Spirit and working for Heliopolis had meant a somewhat lacking amount of personal space to begin with. She casually held out the smoothie his way, offering him a sip in a way that betrayed intentions to test for boundaries even closer, and propped her head up on one hand, leaning on her elbow against the table.

  "We'll do better next time, yeah~! But, uhm..." Her expression was genuinely worried as she looked him in the eye, trying to find the words for what she was going to say. "Johannes, are you the kind of mage who just supports?"

  He brought his hand forward, taking the smoothie while fully aware of the implications behind her giving it to him. Still, any trace of mirth in his expression disappeared when she asked such a probing question. Shit, was he that obvious? Brief scenes flashed in his mind. The reckless interventions he had made against Boudica. The 'heroic' yet stupid decision to continue fighting her when he and Jill faced her a second time. The days spent wishing he had the courage, and the strength to walk in and stand up for Jessica.

  It was a stupid dream - to want to stand up for someone with your own two hands - if they were going to be 'okay' either way. Stupid, and reckless, and yet intoxicating.

  He let out a sigh, as he thought about it. Could he trust her with knowing that he was the kind of fool that wanted to play at being a hero, and fight by her side? Suzuka was thoughtful, but... He couldn't help but think of a particularly tough fool who showed up out of nowhere, carving a legend with his steel skin. While he was known in the mage community, he was often ridiculed for how absurd it all was on the face of things, despite having special, hidden powers.

  Suzuka's worried expression was intensifying as he thought on the past, his own expression joining her. A Spirit's job was to fight, while a Caller's was to support and watch. That was true in the outside world below, and it was true in Heliopolis. Some people blurred the lines, such as the living Spirit vessels, or Wilhelm... He couldn't help but think of how Wilhelm had moved so similar to a Spirit himself, despite being a mere human mage. And yet, it was something that he could never replicate, a limit he would remain acutely aware of. His thoughts continued to race as time crawled in comparison, eyes focused on nothing in particular. There was always tragedy, both in the world and in front of him. Jessica. Aylin. The magic reactors within Heliopolis that almost certainly included 'failed experiments'. Even within the Distortions... Losses were unavoidable, and it wasn't the place of a regular mage, much less one without any potent 'unique factors', to step in and try to play at being a hero.

  So... Why? Why did the idea that he would never be able to do so rip at his chest? Was it his own ego? Was it for his sister's sake? He wasn't a good person, even if better than some magi, so he knew that it wasn't out of some form of altruism. Why did this fleeting yet ever-present dream grip his mind and refuse to let him leave its clutch, constantly in reach and yet miles away?

  Finally, he looked at Suzuka, having made his decision. She had trusted him with her name and legend, so he wouldn't worry her. He wouldn't burden her with his stupid, reckless dream unless he could truly fight alongside her with confidence. He forced himself to smile just a bit, for her sake, as he shrugged.

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  "I've always had stupid dreams, but I know that the place of a mage is in the back line. I'll be well defended, and I have a back-up for the worst case scenario. So... I'll trust you with taking on our enemies while I watch over you, okay?"

  Her eyes softened a bit as she seemed to take his words in stride, before leaning slightly closer as her face broke into a proper smile. "Alright, alright - Thank you... I mean, you really had me worried for a minute there, Johan~!" She gave him a light wink, but he couldn't help feeling that everything seemed just a bit more forced than her normal. "It's just - After you talked to me in the workshop, and I saw your magic items, I was worried that it might've been that you were hoping to fight. Like, I'm glad that you're so level-headed, but you're not boring enough to not have dreams~!" She shifted, facing him directly in that modern and slightly-revealing outfit, the three swords at her side shifting when she did so.

  "Speaking of... Do you mind telling me more about them? I promise, I won't laugh! I'm sure that whatever they are, they're not stupid. And who knows - maybe I could make one or two of them a reality~?" Yet again, she gave him a cutesy wink as she used alluring words to try to pull him in. She definitely knew something was off... Ugh, she was cutesy, but so crafty. It was nice in a way, and yet so annoying to deal with.

  He set down the smoothie after a tentative sip, so that he could give her more of his full attention. She clearly wanted more out of him, but he'd made his decision. He slightly frowned as he decided to tell her a smaller, less ridiculous dream. He doubted she would ever be able to leave Heliopolis with him to help, but...

  "I want to go home successful, and to stop what's happening to my sister. She's been going through so much, to become a 'perfect heir' for our family's magic... So much pain, and I've been unable to help her even once. I don't want to run away again when I see her. Regardless of what's happened in my absence - I want to help her, and I need to have the strength and will to be able to do that for her, Suzuka." He knew that she was probably hoping for something more lighthearted and amorous, but he wanted to be truthful with her. As long as a dream wouldn't burden her with worries for him, he would share it, and keep that one burden to himself while offering her a slightly lighter load.

  "I don't care about income or prestige. I'm a mage, so I'll always be able to make money if I need... But there are some things that neither money nor fame can get you. Even if I didn't have a future afterwards, as long as Jessica is safe and taken care of, I think that'd be alright with me, but... When it comes down to it, I still have to be able to reach that point. And that means sharpening myself at Heliopolis, and helping however I can. I know you were probably expecting a more glamorous or interesting dream, but just know that every day we're at Heliopolis, serving to deal with the Distortions, you're helping my dream come true. And in return, if you have any dreams you want to come true while we're working together... Please tell me, and I'll help you make them come true, even if it's slow work."

  By now, he was damn near staring into her eyes. What he'd started as a way to gently keep her away from his most ridiculous dreams became a way to pour out his heart, if only a small measure. He'd been keeping everything mostly to himself since he summoned Jill. That wasn't to say his fellow Callers were bad, but he wasn't personally too close with any of them, and Jill wasn't particularly someone that he had the ability to open up to. He had nobody to confide in until now, ever since he'd left, and it was nice to let it all out for once. Her playful expression softened into something a bit more genuine as he spoke, before she gave him a second to be sure he was done, and spoke.

  "Johan... I mean, this is like, pretty heavy stuff to drop on a girl, y'know~★?"

  Despite her words, even her voice had softened a bit, the high octane, energetic teasing fading slightly. She had glanced away now and again, yet she kept looking to him as she stayed closer, her voice losing a lot of its edge and sounding much more normal.

  "...I won't lie to ya', I was like, expecting something like 'I want to be the strongest mage ever', or 'I'm gonna become king of a country' - normal mage things, I guess, but instead you drop this whole heartfelt, best-brother-of-the-year speech on me? I guess that explains why you never felt boring to begin with." She was pouting a bit, but continued despite that, clearly not upset. "Not that I mind, but like, for real... That's kinda amazing, and you're amazing. A lot of people dream about power, wealth, or some dramatic love story, but you just wanna make sure your sister's safe, and that's genuinely really sweet."

  She fell silent for a few seconds, and Johannes was about to say something when she continued. "Um, as for your question... I don't really have a dream, not one I'm ready to talk about yet. It's not that I don't trust you, it's because of... Well, I just need to think. I'll tell you when I'm ready, but still, thank you, Johannes. It really means a lot that you're willing to confide this much in me. You already know I'll do everything I can to help, 'cause I want to help, and I don't want you to feel like you have to run next time you face your family. And 'cause-"

  She flashed another smile as that lilt entered her voice again, her hand reaching up and running through his hair. For a brief moment, he thought she was going to pull him into a kiss, but she stayed content with that much.

  "Well, I guess I'm just that awesome and pretty~ You think so too, right Johan~?"

  Her words left him stunned. He hadn't expected to be praised for his constant failures. To be told he'd done well for wanting to protect his sister, rather than poorly for failing to do so already. When he finally managed to react, no longer worried he might accidentally shed tears if he started speaking, it was to playfully swat her hand away, and reach over to her own head.

  "Suzuka, it's not like I'm a kid. I might have more dreams down the line, you know? Grand, ambitious ones, or ones that are totally foolish. Maybe even great, ingenious ideas, if I were to be so lucky. Of course, I think I'm on a pretty good streak, since I summoned such a great Spirit. She's awesome, pretty, and skilled too. So, don't worry, I'll make sure to watch your next effort closely, without some huge door between us. Okay, Suzuka?" He had gently run his hands over one of the black, small horns on her head as they spoke, before sliding the smoothie back her way.

  He took a bite from his ramen as they continued to speak, and... It was cold, but he couldn't help but feel that it had never tasted better than today.