Chase just stared at Leon for a second before shaking his head. “What do you mean, Leon?”
“I mean, how in the hells did you pull this shit off?” he demanded. “Like, seriously, how did you even think of something like this? If this plan is what I think it is, then it’s the most batshit crazy plan I think I’ve ever seen, and yet you morons pulled it off perfectly. What in the actual, literal fuck?”
As if to punctuate his statement, Melanie let out another loud moan from within the tent. Chase just shook his head.
“Believe me, we’re just as surprised as you are,” he explained. He motioned towards the other two Crusaders flanking Leon. “Who are they?”
Both figures exchanged a quick glance before removing their helmets. To Chase’s astonishment, it was Zarrun and Cheryl.
“What the fuck…?” Carmine breathed. “Leon, why are the two of them with you?”
“Because I needed a badass team, that’s why,” answered. “Or so I thought, until you idiots solved the problem for me.”
“Sorry, I’m a bit lost,” Chase said.
“As am I,” McKinnon confessed. “I’m just… I’m just gonna go lie down somewhere. Seriously. Feels like I’m about to have a panic attack from that public speech thing…”
He walked off, leaving the rest of them behind. After a moment, Leon crossed his arms.
“It’s simple, really,” he said. “My original plan was to come here and kill Heinrich, because I figured I’d fucking have to in order to stop this shit from spiraling completely out of control. But I knew I couldn’t do that alone – I’d need some help. So I enlisted some old acquaintances of mine, who were all too happy to jump into the fire and give me some assistance if it meant stopping a Crusade from getting worse. Little did I know that you all were going to beat me to the punch.”
Behind him, Zarrun crossed his arms. “So can we go now, Leon?”
Leon waved him off. “Yeah, yeah… get back to your kids, old man.”
Zarrun nodded, then walked off. Cheryl, meanwhile, gave them all a friendly smile and nod. “Hello, dearies,” she greeted. “So nice to see you all again. Have you all been eating well?”
“No,” Chase said. “I won’t go into details, but prison food sucks.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Stop by my house on your way back if you get the chance, you know I’ll have something good prepared for you.”
"There’s not a single part of that sentence I don’t love. I’ll hold you to that offer.”
Cheryl gave the three of them another friendly smile, then began to head off elsewhere into the camp. Chase watched her go before turning back towards Leon.
“You sound vaguely pissed about this whole thing,” he noted.
“Kid, believe me, there’s nothing vague about it,” Leon grumbled. “I spent all this time, assembling a squad of badasses I thought could take this dude on, and then here come you two shitkids who defeat him with the power of sexual healing. It’s bullshit. This would have been super cool, if only you shithead kids hadn’t ruined the moment like you always do.”
“Cry more about it, old man,” Carmine said as she crossed her arms.
Leon sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What the fuck ever. Gods damn, I need a drink now…”
With that, he followed after Cheryl, heading deeper into camp, no doubt looking for any alcohol that had been left behind. Chase, meanwhile, let out a sigh as he looked up into the sky. The sun had begun to set, casting a faint orange glow over the landscape.
“I guess that means it’s over,” he said. “We did it, guys. We saved the world.”
At that moment, a small chime rang in his ear. Chase froze, then instantly pulled up his Stats sheet, Carmine and Victoria following after him. The first thing that greeted him was a message.
For saving the world, you have gained two Levels. You are now Level 8.
For literally defying the odds and saving the world with a plan that really should not have worked, you have gained a Skill Level. Defying the Odds is now Level 2.
Chase stared at the message for a moment, a grin splitting his face. It only lasted for a second or two before the realization set in, and his smile faded.
“...You’re kidding,” he deadpanned. “Saving the fucking world is only worth a single Level in that Skill? What kind of bullshit is this?!”
“I’m not normally one for foul language, but that does seem like bullshit,” Victoria commented. She let out a sigh as she put her Stats sheet away, Carmine and Chase doing the same. “Anyway, I don’t know about you two, but I’m absolutely beat. I’m going to go find an abandoned bed and lie down forever. Do me a favor and don’t leave camp without me.”
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Carmine was surprised. “What do you mean? You don’t have a reason to stick around with us anymore. Besides, don’t you hate us all?”
Victoria just shrugged. “I’m still trying to figure that out, myself. And besides… someone needs to look after you all, otherwise you might hurt yourselves or something, and Leon definitely isn’t going to do that.”
Before they could question her further, she turned and walked off, searching for a bed. Chase watched her go for a moment before he noticed something.
Melanie and Heinrich seemed to have finally stopped.
No sooner did he notice it than did the tent flap open. Chase was tempted to look behind him in case it was Heinrich and he was out for vengeance, but Melanie letting out a content sigh told him all he needed to know about who it really was.
“Fuck…” Melanie breathed. Chase was careful not to look back at her as she came stepping out, because he knew she was still completely naked. “Oh, fuck… that felt so good…”
“Glad you had fun,” Carmine said to her.
“You have no idea,” Melanie replied.
“I think we can imagine,” Chase commented. “Where’s Heinrich, by the way? Passed out inside the tent?”
“Yup. And don’t you dare lay a finger on that man.”
Chase held his hands up in surrender. “I won’t so long as he’s not a threat.” A wicked smell suddenly hit him, and his nose furrowed. “Gods above, Melanie, but you reek like body odor.”
“I concur,” Carmine said, retching. “And I don’t even want to ask about what’s covering you. I suspect I know the answer already, and it’s not something I care to verify.”
“Alright, alright, message fucking received,” Melanie answered. “Thankfully, there’s a lake nearby. I’m gonna go skinny dip for a bit, see if I can’t clean some of the grime and stench off of me.”
“You’re gonna need to skinny dip for more than a bit, the way you smell,” Chase commented.
“Asshole,” Melanie said to him. “Anyway, I’ll see you guys in a bit. Heinrich shouldn’t be a problem to any of you, but if he is… tell him to stop, because if he doesn’t, I won’t do that thing he likes anymore. He’ll know what you mean.”
“That is borderline too much information,” Carmine said, shuddering. “Would you just go wash up, already, you damn nudist? You’re standing around like there aren’t other people nearby who have to see that shit.”
“And smell it,” Chase added.
Melanie’s only response was to bark out a laugh. “Consider this revenge for you all bullying me so much. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“A few hours, more like,” Chase commented.
Out of the corner of his eye, Chase saw Melanie flip him off as she walked towards the lake, disappearing behind a row of tents. Once she was gone, he let out a sigh, then turned towards Carmine.
“So, I guess that’s it, then,” he said.
“I suppose it is,” she agreed. To his surprise, she gave him a faint, warm smile. “All’s well that ends well?”
“I suppose so,” he conceded. “That was fucking crazy, though. Good thing we’ll never get involved in anything as weird or wild as that shit again.”
As the words left his mouth, Chase realized he had deserved the incoming smack across his cheek that was no doubt headed his way. To his surprise, though, while it did come, it was far lighter and more restrained than he thought it would be – it was barely enough to sting or even leave a mark. Chase blinked in surprise as he stared at Carmine.
“You going soft on me or something?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Who knows?” A yawn suddenly interrupted her. “Ah, sorry. I guess I’m tired, too.”
“You’re not the only one,” he agreed. “Fuck, I feel like I could sleep for weeks at this point…”
“That’s an accurate description.” She let out another yawn. “Well, I’ll see you in the morning, Chase. Hopefully, tomorrow is the start of a quiet life, and no more great adventures.”
“Yeah,” Chase agreed as she stood up and began to look for a bed to collapse onto. “Hopefully.”
XXX
Name: Chase Ironheart
Level: 8
Race: Human
Class: Warrior
Subclass: Swordmaster
Strength: 20 (MAX)
Dexterity: 15
Intelligence: 10
Wisdom: 13
Constitution: 18
Charisma: 16
Skills: Master Swordsmanship (Level 10); Booby Trap Mastery (Level 8); Archery (Level 4)
Spells: Rush (Level 7); Muscle (Level 4); Stone Flesh (Level 6); Defying The Odds (Level 2)
Traits: Blessed
Name: Carmine Nolastname
Level: 8
Race: Greater Demon
Class: Arcane Witch
Subclass: Archmage
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 13
Intelligence: 19
Wisdom: 19
Constitution: 12
Charisma: 8
Skills: Master Spellcasting (Level 10); Summon Familiar (Level 10)
Spells: Magic Dart (Level 7); Magic Scattershot (Level 5); Fire Magic (Level 5)
Traits: Blessed
Name: Melanie Vhaeries
Level: 8
Race: Ascended Human
Class: Necromancer
Subclass: Arch-Lich
Strength: 8
Dexterity: 13
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 16
Constitution: 15
Charisma: 12
Skills: Raise Lesser Undead (Level 10); Raise Greater Undead (Level 3); Unorthodox Weapon User (Level 8)
Spells: Touch of Death (Level 5); Gravesinger (Level 7); Armor of Bone (Level 3)
Traits: None
Name: Victoria Firelight
Level: 9
Race: Human
Class: Paladin
Subclass: Devotee
Strength: 17
Dexterity: 9
Intelligence: 13
Wisdom: 13
Constitution: 19
Charisma: 11
Skills: Swordsmanship Mastery (Level 5); Blunt Weapon Mastery (Level 8); Archery Mastery (Level 5)
Spells: Holy Light (Level 6); Ward of the Gods (Level 5); Bane of the Undead (Level 7); Divine Bolt (Level 4)
Traits: None
