Chapter 53

  I didn’t even get a chance to protest. Couldn’t squeeze in a word. The massive chunk of cliff I was standing on broke off and plummeted toward the hungry doggos waiting eagerly below. I had plenty of complaints about this setup, but they stayed with me. This event was piss-poorly organized. If the spectators are so hyped, at least ensure everyone’s safety. If you’re dying for entertainment, make sure your horse doesn’t croak mid-race! Plus, they gave me no prep time. My mana’s only at seventy percent. And putting on a show for just two viewers? Pure fucking waste!

  As I fell, I caught and burned into my memory the smug face of Guard #1. Like he was waiting for his favorite show. Got it… He’s my buddy only as long as I’m entertaining. Axis watched with some intense curiosity. That guy legit scares me. He’s got some kind of force field or something… Plus, he just floats there, chucking huge boulders left and right with his mind. I put everything into that lightning strike, but he just winced. Damn… I thought with a magic strength of 184(-24), I’d do real damage to a general, but nope. Turns out I wasted a whole week slaughtering dogs when I should’ve just bolted. What a fucking idiot… “No better chance to grind!” I thought. “Kill as many as you want, and no beast can touch you or escape!” Yeah… I can feel the hate they’ve built up.

  The rock slab I was on smashed into the ground, flattening a dozen monsters. Somehow, I stayed upright and didn’t become chow right away, but there’s no time to rest. I’m surrounded. Well… Guess I’ll have to fight my way out again, but can I escape that flying homo-demon? No point thinking… Won’t know ‘til I try. I braced for battle, but the doggos circling me stopped, like they hit an invisible wall.

  - You dropped something. – Axis said, smirking, and tossed me my dagger. – Nice piece. Shouldn’t throw it around.

  - Uh… Thanks. – I didn’t even see where it went, but he somehow caught it.

  - Alrighty, I’ll leave you to it.

  - Wait! – I barely got out. The invisible barrier vanished. I’m grateful for the weapon return, but our reunion might be short-lived. Whatever, I rested a whole week. Time to stretch my legs.

  Lightning flashed over the hellish wasteland. Short, sharp strikes instantly killed approaching demons, but new ones took their place. Axis, with a cryptic smile, watched the grand show, barely containing his excitement. From above, he had a perfect view of Elon fighting to break free. How he carved a path through the enemy horde, somehow dodging endless doggo lunges. It seemed any second a monster would grab him with its massive, sharp teeth, but luck guided his body, slipping past near-certain doom. Of course, it wasn’t luck. More like panic attacks.

  - Hey, Ziddy, come up here! Better view. – An invisible force lifted Wilson right to Axis, hovering ten meters up.

  - Oh, thanks, way better.

  - Where’d you find him?

  - Uh… Ash found him.

  - Ash? Got it. Look at him go. Already killed a few dozen. Total doggo exterminator.

  - Yup…

  - You guys do this often?

  - Nah, not really…

  - Why didn’t anyone tell me? You know I love these events.

  - Honestly, Ash wasn’t your biggest fan.

  - What? Why? I was always sweet to him. Sang him all my new songs first.

  - Probably why. He also called you a complete asshole, a dick, a sick pervert, a master of fucking people over, a dumb cretin, a shitty imbecile, a spineless loser, and just a piece of shit… What? Don’t look at me like that, it’s all him.

  - No… My heart’s broken… I thought he was my friend… How could he do this? – Axis tried to fake a tear, but it didn’t work. – You live with someone soul to soul, then they stab you in the back when you least expect it.

  - I feel you. Nothing but hypocrites around. Why lie instead of just saying what you feel? – Wilson subtly drew a knife.

  - But you can’t escape the truth. Ash got his punishment.

  - He was too sneaky. Always scheming.

  - Thank the gods you stopped him. Gotta admit, I thought you were a useless piece of dog shit after you lost your powers.

  - Hey… No need to be that blunt. I’m still worth something.

  - That was before, Ziddy. No offense, but your usefulness is questionable.

  - You don’t know me…

  - True. You showed a new side today. By the way, that guy’s trying to bolt. He’s good. But we don’t want that, right?

  Axis raised his hands, and a massive stone wall shot up from the ground, boxing Elon and the doggos into a semicircular arena the size of five football fields.

  - How’s that side of me? – Wilson muttered under his breath. While Axis was busy building walls, Guard #1’s body lunged with a sneaky stab at his back.

  - Ziddy, what’re you doing?

  The knife-wielding hand hit an invisible barrier, stopping short of Axis’s flesh.

  - Ziiiidyyy, care to explain?

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  - Uh, nothing… Just wanted to pat your shoulder. You know, cheer you up… – If corpses could sweat, Wilson would’ve been drenched.

  - With a knife?

  - What? What knife? Wait, WHAT!? How’d a knife get in my hand?! What the… What kinda dirty magic is this!? Must be Ash’s minions!

  - Haha! Brilliant! Ziddy, I take it back. You’re great at making me laugh.

  - I, uh…

  - Relax, tell me, why’d you kill Mother?

  - Uh… I told you…

  - …that Ash did it, then you killed him. Yeah… You’re a good guy, and you were a great general once, but I’d never believe you killed Ash. That guy down there, though, he’s got potential. Bet Ash wanted to feed him to Syria. He was always worried our demons weren’t strong enough. That’s the guy he was… Unshakable pillar of the demon army… But you saved this human for some reason. That bored?

  - … – Wilson froze, seriously considering ditching Guard #1 and blending into the doggo crowd.

  - Don’t worry, Zid, I get it. No clue how you pulled it off, though.

  - What’re you gonna do? – Wilson finally asked.

  - What else? Have fuuuun!

  - Meaning?

  - Oh, nothing much. By the way, I was a bit hurt when you called me dumb.

  …

  Motherfucker! That’s how he solved it. I wondered what he’d do if I broke out. A wall. Tall as a five-story building. Perfectly smooth. It boxed our battlefield in a semicircle from one cliff edge to the other. No point climbing it. He made it, so he can unmake it instantly. I’m stuck playing his game, fighting for my life to entertain two sadists. I’d pulled ahead of the pack, with about a hundred meters between us. Gotta ditch the clothes—they’re just something to grab. They’re rags anyway. Turn the pants into shorts. Why didn’t I do this sooner? Way comfier. My body’s covered in bleeding claw and bite marks. If this keeps up, I’ll be skinless. If I survive, that is. I’ve got just over half my mana left. About two thousand enemies remain. Math’s not on my side. Can’t use direct lightning strikes. Melee would burn my endurance faster. I’ve learned to use mana instead of stamina, but it wrecks my body. When muscles fail from fatigue, it takes way more mana to keep them going. What I need is transport, but I’ve already sniped the biggest kitties. Well… I had plenty of anti-tank rounds in my arsenal. Either way, it’s a grim picture. I’m good for short bursts, but I suck at long fights. No clue what to do, but if I’m going down, I’m not going alone.

  I stopped to catch my breath, far enough ahead. Gotta figure out how to wipe out these two thousand dogs. Running’s pointless. Need a steady strategy. I waited for the pack, and when they nearly caught me, I ran back and to the side, staying out of the crowd and keeping them from surrounding me. My speed kept me ahead, so no one could hit me head-on. Running at an angle, I had a great position to slice up monsters. I arced around their herd, keeping everyone at arm’s length. When I risked getting surrounded, I switched directions and bent the arc the other way. I mostly used daggers, saving magic for emergencies. Too many of those, sadly. I didn’t count kills like some, but I’d passed a couple hundred. Percentage-wise, it’s not impressive.

  In this madness, I inevitably neared the wall. Time to break through again. I sprinted with everything I had, hoping to avoid getting pinned. That dash cost me big. Some leg muscle fibers tore. Shit, again… Should’ve at least warmed up. My speed’s dropping. I won’t make it. A wave of dogs was closing in from the side, about to smear me against the wall. I bought a few seconds by blasting the front ranks with lightning, but my reserves are nearly gone. The claw and bite wounds are getting deeper. A bit more, and I’m done. Need a little more strength… A little more time… To survive, I gotta come up with something fast!

  I had no time to get distracted, but I couldn’t miss the notification window that popped up in front of me.

  -

  / Congratulations, your title has been updated! /

  / Demon Slayer ---> Demon Hunter /

  // Demon Hunter //

  / Conditions: Kill 10,000 demons /

  / Title Bonus: +20 points to all stats /

  / Title Penalty: Demon attacks ignore your defense /

  -

  Ignore my what?! I don’t even have that stat! Whatever, no time to think about it. Customer support’s offline anyway. No clue what “defense” is, but I hope the next scratch doesn’t kill me. The twenty-point boost was a damn nice and timely bonus. I instantly felt a surge in strength and endurance. Just before the dog pack pinned me to the wall, I bolted up it like Neo. A few steps on the vertical surface, and I slipped out of their jaws.

  Even with that clutch admin boost, things didn’t improve much. For a real change, I’d need not twenty points but a fucking jet fighter. The rate of doggo kills and my energy loss are set to cross on the death graph. I can’t do shit about it. Except maybe speed up my own death. Actually, not a bad idea…

  My legs are moving on pure willpower. Weaving arcs around the monster herd, I’m hanging on by a thread. If I’m not mistaken, there were twice as many when this shitshow started. I threw a tired glance up at the two floating spectators chatting. Wilson wasn’t smiling anymore, but I could see the other bastard’s teeth from here. Fine… They’ve got a perfect view.

  I finally waited for one of the few small kitties left in the pack to reach me. It wasn’t fast, but I’d ride it anyway. I leapt into its embrace. Its face screamed it’d been dreaming of this. But instead of hugs, I jammed my dagger, tied with rope to the hilt, into its neck. I poured some nitro into its engine, but it didn’t help much. Together, we barreled toward the cliff edge. Lucky that bastard thought it was barrier enough and didn’t build a wall there. A bit to the right, where I’d spent a week, was a pile of corpses. That’s my target. Well, just to the side of it. I wrapped the rope around the kitty’s neck and steered it straight for the abyss.

  A few dozen meters from the edge, I jumped off and ran parallel. I glanced back at the thousand hungry, bloodthirsty monsters and, with my last strength, roared:

  - Deus Vult, BITCHES!!!

  My ride dropped dead just shy of the cliff, but I dove off at full speed. The enraged beasts, losing all reason, followed. Unlike me, nothing held them back from doom. Using the dead kitty as an anchor, I swung on the rope like Tarzan and shot upward on the other side, where the corpse pile was. I grabbed the edge, scrambling to climb and hide under the doggo bodies as the rest plummeted. Their viewing angle kept the spectators from seeing what happened. They should think I offed myself. Now I just gotta lay low.

  …

  - What a finale! Incredible! – Axis shouted, with a hint of flamboyance.

  - Is he dead? – Wilson sounded a bit bummed, like a fish died in his aquarium, not a close friend. – Should’ve seen it coming if you’re so smart.

  - Yeah… My bad, I admit. But we wouldn’t have seen that epic move!

  - I don’t call suicide epic. I do it every day.

  - Come on, don’t sulk. Look, fifteen hundred doggos taken out by some random human!

  - Yeah… I figured he’d entertain me longer, but thanks to you, he’s dead.

  - Ziddy… Better think about how you’ll explain this to the Lord.

  - I won’t. I’m not even a demon anymore. What’s he gonna do, kill me?

  - Why not? You know it’s possible. I know it. The Lord definitely does. Kinda insulting you thought we didn’t.

  - Oh, shit… Am I screwed? – Wilson got even more nervous.

  - I can cover for you if you want.

  - Guess I’ve got no choice… – Wilson muttered.

  - No, no, no, hold up! Don’t even think about running. Think I won’t blast every corpse here? Enough adventures. Zidusik, don’t pout. Look, I’ll show you something.

  The two demons descended and floated toward the corpse pile. Suddenly, the dead bodies scattered like leaves under a leaf blower, until dim light hit my exhausted face. A few dozen swears jammed in my head, so I couldn’t pick one.

  - Ssshhkkk… – I hissed through my teeth.

  - See? Alive and kicking. – Axis’s grin stretched ear to ear. Wilson perked up too. I was the only one wanting to cry bitter tears.

  The demon pulled a stone from his pocket and muttered a short spell, making it glow red. A hoarse, weary voice that chilled to the bone came through.

  - Speak. – It said.

  - My Lord, I found him. Just as you suspected. – Axis sang politely.

  - Good… Bring him…

  - Yes, My Lord.