[Location]: District 1 · East District · Abyss Magma Hot Pot
The moment Hathaway pushed open the heavy doors of the restaurant, she thought she had stumbled into a gas chamber.
The air was thick with a visible red mist. That wasn't romantic ambient lighting; it was aerosolized, purified capsaicin mixed with the rich aroma of beef tallow.
If a normal human took a breath in here, their lungs would likely carbonize on the spot. But here, the room was packed with Witches in tank tops, legs propped up on benches, shouting drinking games while tossing various wriggling, eldritch ingredients into boiling cauldrons of red oil.
"Ah, fresh air!"
Rhode took a deep breath of the lethal atmosphere, a glint of excitement flashing behind her red sunglasses.
"This is the stuff! Boss! The usual! 'Hellfire Extra Spicy' base! And add two servings of Flame Slime Gel!"
Hathaway choked and coughed violently, tears streaming down her face instantly.
"Cough, cough... Extra spicy? Are we seriously doing extra spicy? Can't we start with mild for a transition?"
As an Earthling, she thought she could handle spice, but the very air in this place was triggering her biological survival instincts.
"Mild?" Lin was elegantly wiping some dust off her fingers with a wet wipe. She sneered lightly. "That’s for baby witches who were just weaned off milk. Hathaway, you are an adult Witch with 42,000 M-Units. Have some dignity."
The three of them wove through the noisy hall towards a table in the corner.
However, that table was already occupied.
To be precise, it was occupied by a Dragon.
Intrigued by the terrifying aura radiating from the figure, Hathaway instinctively froze. The pressure was so intense that her "Gamer Brain" instantly hallucinated a Boss Health Bar hovering over the woman's head.
[Mental Analysis: Auto-Translation...]
[Target: Alucard von Milan'thirskaya]
Race: Dragon Witch
Title: Archon of White City (Grand Duchess)
Current Status: [Severe Mana Deficiency] / [Mental Breakdown Imminent]
Danger Level: Catastrophic (Do not disturb while she is refueling)
Hathaway shook her head, dispelling the imaginary UI, and looked at the real person.
The "Archon" looked like she had just crawled out of a grave.
Her brilliant blonde hair was loose and messy—and if the slight sheen was any indication, it hadn't seen shampoo in at least three days.
A pair of massive, intricately branched dragon horns crowned her head. But unlike the polished, holy silver of royalty, hers were a dull, anaemic silver—translucent and fragile-looking, with faint crimson capillaries pulsing visibly deep within the structure.
Behind her, a thick, magnificent dragon tail lay listlessly on the floor. The scales were tarnished and matte, lacking any luster, twitching occasionally like a dying snake.
Alucard sat alone in front of a boiling pot of purple-black soup base. Floating in the pot weren't chili peppers, but Ghost Skull Peppers—each one naturally shaped like a screaming skull.
Expressionless, she picked up a piece of meat that had been boiled black, stuffed it into her mouth, and chewed mechanically.
No water. No panting. Not even a drop of sweat.
Only two lines of clear tears flowed quietly down her gloomy yet beautiful face.
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"...Is she crying?" Hathaway whispered, frightened by the scene.
"No," Lin lowered her voice. "She's 'decompressing'."
Rhode swaggered over, flopped onto the seat opposite Alucard, and casually fished a piece of meat from the pot (without even changing chopsticks).
"Yo, Archon. Torturing yourself in the middle of the day? I take it last night's municipal council meeting didn't go well?"
Alucard slowly raised her head.
Her vertical pupils, which should have been molten gold, were now a deathly grey from extreme exhaustion. She looked at Rhode, her eyes as empty as if she were looking at a corpse.
"...Rhode."
Alucard's voice was so raspy it sounded like she had been gargling sand.
"11:02 AM. Report received. Two lunatics and an unidentified organism jumped from the top floor of the Tulip Club and smashed two three-meter-wide craters into a back alley in the East District."
She pointed a trembling finger at the massive dark circles under her eyes.
"The municipal road repair budget is already in the red. I just signed that god-rotted deficit approval form. And then you appeared in front of me. Tell me, can I throw you into this pot and boil you right now?"
Rhode laughed loudly, completely devoid of guilt. "Don't be so stingy! Put it on the Ludwig tab! The Matriarch is loaded anyway! If she doesn't pay up, just ask the treasurer for an advance on my allowance for the next hundred years!"
Alucard didn't speak.
She simply, silently, picked up a whole Ghost Skull Pepper and put the entire thing in her mouth.
Crunch.
The sound of the pepper exploding.
Hathaway felt phantom stomach pains just watching.
But Alucard just closed her eyes. A flicker of eerie vitality—born from sheer agony—flashed through her grey irises.
"...Only this sensation," she muttered to herself, "can confirm that my tongue hasn't undergone necrosis after six hours of meetings."
"Hathaway, sit."
Lin pulled Hathaway into a seat, completely ignoring the Archon's murderous aura. "Since we're here, let's share a table. Alucard is gloomy, but she's the best Spice Level Tester."
The server (an Octopus Witch with too many hands and legs) swiftly brought their order.
It was a table full of ingredients emitting an ominous red glow.
"Here, Hathaway."
Rhode picked up a slice of "Magma Beef" and swished it in the purple-black soup for three seconds. The meat was instantly coated in a layer of eerie red oil, sizzling audibly.
"As a coming-of-age ritual for the Ludwig family (not really), the first bite must be from the red oil pot. It's tradition."
Hathaway stared at the meat.
Her Earthling soul was screaming: Don't eat it! That's a biological weapon!
But her Witch body was roaring: It's just chili! I am a powerhouse with 40k M-Units!
"Bottoms up!"
Hathaway steeled herself and swallowed it whole.
BOOM—!
It wasn't spicy. It was High-Frequency Fire Element Bombardment.
It felt like a fire dragon had burrowed into her throat and unleashed a breath attack directly down her esophagus. Her pain receptors overloaded instantly, and her brain blue-screened.
Hathaway's face turned the color of a pig's liver. She opened her mouth to scream, but her voice was gone. Tears and snot erupted simultaneously, and she curled up in her chair like a boiled shrimp.
[System Alert: High-Level Fire Element Corrosion Detected]
[Debuff: Witch's Gastroenteritis (Scheduled)]
"Bwahahahaha!"
Rhode slapped the table, laughing so hard her sunglasses nearly fell off. "See! I told you she's still a baby! Look at her! Her face is as red as a baboon's ass!"
Lin couldn't help but smirk, elegantly sipping her iced plum juice (the composure of a veteran). "Not bad. She didn't faint on her first bite of the Abyss Pot. Her constitution is definitely Ludwig-tier."
Just when Hathaway thought she was going to die, a glass of white liquid was slid in front of her.
It was High-Purity Milk.
Hathaway looked up, tears of gratitude streaming down her face.
Alucard was still expressionlessly chewing on peppers, but her silver dragon tail had gently wrapped around the handle of the milk glass and delivered it to Hathaway's lips.
"...Drink," Alucard said faintly, her voice carrying the cold indifference of shared misery. "This is mercy for the rookie. When you're like me, and you realize that approving paperwork is more toxic than this soup, you won't need milk anymore."
Hathaway downed the milk in one gulp, feeling like she had finally returned to the land of the living.
She looked at this woman—beautiful dragon horns, yet radiating the deathly aura of a corporate wage slave—and a strange sense of respect welled up in her heart.
This is the Archon of White City.
A savage who maintains her SAN value by consuming lethal doses of chili.
"Th... thank you," Hathaway croaked weakly.
Alucard didn't respond.
She simply, suddenly, pulled a thick tome of laws from her robe. Before Rhode could react, she slammed it heavily onto the table, sending droplets of red oil splashing from the pot.
"Alright. Milk consumed, life saved."
Alucard's grey eyes locked onto Rhode and Lin, her dragon pupils slitted vertically, emitting a terrifying pressure.
"Now, let's discuss who is paying for this meal, and whether the repair fees for that alleyway will be doubled or super-doubled."
"...Huh?" Rhode's smile froze. "Didn't I say put it on the Ludwig tab?"
"The Ludwig family treasurer—your mother's chief secretary—just messaged me," Alucard coldly produced a communication crystal. "She says your allowance for this month has already been deducted to cover the 'Restitution for the Twelve Withered Midnight Epiphyllums' and the 'Purchase Fee for a new batch of Dark Elves'. If there are any more bills, she suggests mortgaging you to the Municipal Power Grid to serve as a Mana Battery."
Alucard picked up her chopsticks and pointed at the door.
"Either pay up, or... the three of you report to the Reformatory."
"I have three empty Kinetic Generator Wheels—yes, giant hamster wheels—waiting for you. You can run until you power the entire East District's streetlights for a month."
"Choose."
Hathaway shrank into the corner, shivering.
Day one of being isekai'd: Jumped off a building, poisoned by hotpot, and now I'm about to become a Ogre-sized battery in a hamster wheel?