Maybe it’s a little alarming to find out the person you’re speaking to has died. Maybe I should have found a gentler way to say it. Too late now.

  “Lamia got me. Like a bigger, higher-level siren. Chomp. Killed me.”

  She crouches, ready for combat. “How did you survive?”

  “Again, I didn’t.”

  “Are you a fucking vampire? Zombie?”

  I hear Sadie’s fists ignite.

  I shrink my spear to a stake and tuck it in a belt loop. Sadie’s intense protection of me is getting out of hand. They have to learn to work together or at least tolerate each other. “Am I going to have to separate you two? Calm down.”

  “He’s not a vampire,” Sadie snarls. “You take that back.”

  “You going to suck my blood?” Jes asks, switching focus between me and Sadie. “Eat my brain?”

  “That’s not how he life siphons,” Sadie says. “It’s got to be through his hands.”

  Jes mouths the words “Life siphon” and takes a step away from me.

  “No, no,” I say. “It’s not like that.”

  “What’s it like?” Jes barks. “When you suck the life out of someone?”

  “Listen, calm down,” I say. Suddenly, I feel like I’m teaching grade school.

  “You take their final life force, their vitality,” Sadie says, “In through your hands and you merge it to your own. Around the neck or on the heart works fastest.”

  “Not helping,” I snap. Sadie got stuck in information mode when quiet mode would have been better.

  “Wait,” Jes says. “You strangle people to steal their life force?”

  “It’s not like that,” I say. “Look, see how I beat you before, when I knew your goats were down?”

  “Goeteia,” Sadie corrects.

  “Whatever,” I say.

  “Goats is kind of offensive,” Sadie chides, tapping a hoof. “Look at me Dom.”

  I look for The Brigadier, the only one I haven’t offended. He’s got snot dripping to the floor from his nose.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I apologize to everyone in the room. Jes, when you power your abilities, you get weaker. Am I correct?”

  She nods.

  “When I summon my bondlings, I get weaker. I can get that power back. Now, you’re clearly fine with killing monsters.”

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  “Speaking of,” Sadie interrupts. She waves her hands up and down, indicating herself.

  Ah. I had Summon Satyr level ups and haven’t had downtime to upgrade her. I brace for the weird rush and resummon Sadie, her body whirling, disintegrating and reforming with a slightly cooler haircut. Hopefully her upgrade includes more than a new style. She flexes her legs and nods.

  The summon is not a comfortable thing for me to do, and I lose balance for a moment.

  “That was impressive and disturbing,” Jes notes.

  I get it, it is freaky to watch someone disassemble. Maybe I’ll just do that in private when we set camp from now on.

  “All Life Siphon is,” I continue, shaking off the disorientation, “is killing monsters and refilling your own batteries at the same time. It’s my way to cut down on rest. It’s not creepy. It’s not vampire.”

  “Wellllll…” Sadie says.

  “So, you Life Siphoned after you were dead?” Jes asks.

  Oh, boy. This is getting complicated. “No. My reflex to stay alive is to transport my consciousness into one of my bondlings. Then, when it’s safe, my old body goes away and I create a new me.”

  “Just like Star Trek.”

  “You lost me.”

  “You transport,” she says. “Your bondlings are the pattern buffer, you transport in, the matter is demolished, and you reform using the information in the pattern buffer. I thought when I use Slipping, it was like the transporters, but that’s a little different.”

  “Did you just go full geek on me?”

  She lowers her stance. “I like science fiction.”

  “Kirk or Picard?”

  She waves me off. “Sisko.”

  Interesting choice. “Okay, then talking in terms of Trek, Life Siphon is the Original Series Salt Monster.”

  She rubs her chin for a moment. “Show me.”

  I look at Sadie. “Wait, can she do that?”

  Sadie crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. “No.”

  “You just told me it’s a way to cut down on rest,” Jes says. “You better be able to teach me after that tease.”

  “You can’t teach her,” Sadie says.

  “It’s no different from us sparring,” I say. “It’s just teaching skills. But I’ve never taught anyone a magic skill. You have. I bet you have a higher level in teaching than I do, and she would learn better from you.”

  “You understand a lot more of this than you think,” Sadie says. “But you still can’t teach her like that. That’s not how learning skills works.”

  “Can’t you make her teach me?” Jes asks. “Just command her?”

  Sadie inhales sharply and glares at Jes. These two are simply not getting along and I have no idea what to do about that.

  “I can,” I say, only to feel Sadie’s glare bore right into me. “But I won’t.”

  “That’s right,” Sadie says triumphantly. “He won’t. And neither of us can teach you anyway.”

  “Sadie, if I teach her, it will take an hour. If you do it, it will take minutes.”

  “Clearly,” Jes says, “There are skills you excel at over either of us.”

  Sadie glances at Jes and then me. Baco snorts. Jes is playing the flattery card, and I think Sadie might be buying it.

  “You can’t flatter me into this,” Sadie says.

  I could be wrong.

  “You’re both misunderstanding,” Sadie says. “She literally, physically, cannot be taught this skill. I’m not trying to be difficult at all. It just won’t happen. You cannot teach her. When I am saying YOU can’t teach her, I mean all anyones anywhere, not just Dom. You can’t teach her.”

  I approach Jes. “First, hold out your hand, focus your glork.”

  Glork?

  I swallow. “You concentrate on moving glork.”

  Glork again. I look at Jes. I turn to Sadie.

  “Life Siphon is started by glork,” I declare.

  Holy crap, I can’t teach her.

  “I’m guessing you’re not trying to say glork,” Jes says.

  “I am absolutely not trying to say glork.”

  “Some sort of system override,” Jes muses. “That’s pretty wild.”

  “Or pretty invasive,” I say. “Not sure I like the censorship aspect. I guess the system forces us to stay in our lanes.”

  “Any other questions?” Sadie asks. “Jes, you look like you have something else you want to know. What?”

  “Please? I’ve never seen anything like it,” Jes says.

  Jes quickly looks over to me, then back at Sadie. She steps over and whispers something to my bondling. Sadie snorts and nods. Sadie leans forward and Jes runs her fingers lightly and curiously over Sadie’s horns.

  “So cool,” Jes whispers.

  I have horns, too, but I’m not going to go there.