The heads-up display glitched, static cutting across my vision. Jagged lines fractured the interface until, after a few seconds, everything settled back to normal, or at least what counted as normal in this place.

  The map showed that the area we’d fallen into was massive, the kind of zone you could wander in for hours and never find your way out. Large grayed-out spots filled the screen, and the enemy locator was still dead.

  At least this time, it wasn’t damn-near dark. Red lights glowed somewhere overhead, dim and uneven, but enough to make out shapes and movement.

  Peeking from the rubble that covered me, I noticed the walls were made of metal, with thick rivets running along the edges. A wet sheen coated everything, the kind of slimy look that made you want to wipe your hands even if you hadn’t touched anything. Water dripped steadily from somewhere above, echoing lightly.

  Somehow, we had fallen into a dungeon, one I wanted to get the hell out of fast.

  Cashius and Nefa each grabbed an arm, pulling me to my feet, while Sparks zipped down after us, her wings buzzing fast and frantic.

  Panic and surprise buzzed between our bond, but once she joined us, she got a hold of herself and went back to her job, flying around me.

  I tilted my head back, trying to gauge how far we’d fallen. Maybe a couple of flights, I hoped. But when I saw the distance, ten stories or more, my jaw dropped. There was no way we were climbing back up from that.

  I could equip the Air Michaels and run up the walls, sure, but they wouldn’t get me to the top. For now, we were stuck underground, and what struck me as strange was how none of us had taken any damage from the fall.

  Not even a scratch.

  That didn’t make sense, and the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. Unable to explain it, I looked around nervously.

  “Cashius, what’s going on?” I asked. “And why don’t we have bruises or nicks from falling from such a height?”

  “Sometimes, falling in games doesn’t cause damage, especially if it’s a secret or shortcut,” he explained. “Be happy and hope this place leads us to Linuux’s palace or a special weapon,” he began, dusting himself off. “But for now, we should look for routes out of here and push forward.”

  It kind of made sense. I mean, in a lot of the games I played, sometimes you’d fall through a floor and end up in a secret passage or hidden area. A side trek sort of thing. But what scared me was that most of those side treks usually ended in battles. And remembering those giggling monsters from upstairs made me even more alert.

  “I’ll take the lead,” I said, glancing around at the others. “Sparks, you light the way, and be ready to fire if anything moves. Cashius, you’re behind me. Nefa, take the rear. If anything rushes or attacks, we kill it.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Cashius said, putting his hand in his pockets.

  Up ahead, I spotted a doorway. The interior looked much like the room we were in, dim red lights casting a sickly glow on slick, greasy walls.

  Summoning Havoc Maker to my hand, I stepped toward it, hoping nothing would attack.

  I put one foot through the doorway, then peeked my whole body inside. For a moment, nothing.

  But maybe I spoke too soon, because the insane giggling from the room above started again.

  This time, a figure emerged from the shadows of the corridor. Big, hulking, nothing like the small one upstairs. Its eyes locked on me like lasers.

  I held my arm out for the others to fall back, but the creature charged, slamming me against Cashius, who ducked just in time.

  I groaned as I got a better look at it and froze.

  Dressed like a clown. Muscles like pillars. A face only a mother could love. A tiny mouth twisted into a perpetual grin. Hair tied in ponytails. Legs skinnier than I expected.

  It was a wonder it could even stand, let alone tackle me.

  I brought Havoc Maker down, slamming it into its shoulder.

  [Null]

  It absorbed the hit, deflecting my sword like it had hit a gigantic tire, sending shockwaves traveling up my arm into my body.

  I inched back, breath coming in ragged gasps.

  Was this creature made of rubber? I wondered.

  Then it hit me.

  Maybe I could freeze it with the Gorton Staff.

  I switched weapons and fired off a blast.

  Red flashed across my display.

  Warning: Creature is ice resistant.

  It repeated, taunting me.

  Nefa shoved me aside. “I’ll take care of this.”

  She advanced, body low, and slashed at its knees. A shriek followed, then more snickering, as it took the blow without flinching.

  [-459]

  With its face twisted into a savage grin, it spun its upper body around on an unseen axis.

  I glanced at its description while Sparks fired tiny projectiles at it, all the while trying to figure out how to land a solid hit on the thing.

  Longrin #1 — Level 35

  “What are you doing, Lamont?” Nefa shouted, landing another strike. “Are you still angry about what I said earlier?”

  I shook my head, letting the words fade. “I’m not mad at anything,” I said, charging forward.

  “I was reading,” I said as I charged forward.

  Dark Tusk flashed into my hand, the forearm-length blade rattling as the six-foot chain uncoiled. The chain wrapped tight around my grip before the blade was driven in again and again, each strike ripped free with a violent yank.

  “Besides, you and Cashius are way too simple-minded to stay mad at anything,” I repeated, throwing her own quip back at her from the tent with her people.

  She let out a huff of air, while the creature locked eyes with me and let out a cackle.

  Then, without warning, the Longrin unraveled itself, slapping the ground like an angry child with its big paws. Seconds later, it dug into its pockets and pulled out a deck of cards.

  “I’ve fought this feature before!” Cashius shouted. “To beat it—”

  He was cut off as a flying card attached to his mouth, keeping him from talking.

  The creature grinned wider, holding the deck like a psychotic poker dealer.

  “No talking for you!” it screeched, its high-pitched voice grating on my nerves.

  I tightened my grip on Dark Tusk, feeling the chain hum in my hands. Sparks zipped around the room, firing tiny projectiles at the creature, but the Longrin seemed to anticipate my every move, cackling louder with each swipe of a card.

  “Focus!” I shouted to Nefa, who was crouched low, scythe glinting in the red light. She nodded, eyes sharp, waiting for the right opening.

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  The creature flipped a card high into the air, and it spun like a saw, gigantic hands slamming into the floor. Sparks squeaked and dodged narrowly, while I lunged forward, slashing Dark Tusk in a wide arc. The blade connected with the creature’s shoulder, but the Longrin barely flinched.

  [-76]

  “Damn it,” I muttered. “This thing’s tough as shit.”

  It spun in a blur, flicking cards like daggers at both Nefa and me. Each one thudded into the wall, pinging, metal on metal.

  Cashius fell to the floor, a card still attached to his face.

  I activated the chain, whipping Dark Tusk upward and snagging the creature’s wrist mid-throw.

  [-698]

  Longrin shrieked, struggling against my grip, but I yanked harder, swinging it into the wall.

  Sparks zipped around, firing another volley of tiny missiles. One hit, leaving a small scorch mark, but the Longrin only tilted its head, grinning like it found the whole thing hilarious.

  [-89]

  I exhaled, scanning for patterns.

  “It’s fast but predictable. Its throws follow a rhythm,” I muttered. “Nefa, we hit together. Now!”

  The sound of footsteps echoed through the dungeon, pounding against the floor like African drums.

  That’s when his brother came charging into the room, big and ugly, just like him, the only difference being the darker shade of red in his eyes.

  I squinted, and his name appeared:

  Longrin #2.

  “Oh shit,” I yelled.

  Where Longrin #1 was erratic, Longrin #2 was clumsy, bumping into everything. His wild swing over my head knocked chunks of metal from the wall as I ducked, slid between his legs, and landed a wicked punch to his nuts.

  He howled, while #1 spun on one foot, laughing at his brother like it was the funniest thing ever, then smashed his gigantic hands to the floor, making the whole room shake.

  “He hit you in the nuts,” #1 laughed.

  #2 shut his mouth, face screwed tight, and charged his brother, knocking him to the ground. “Why are you always laughing?” he asked, taking a step back.

  That’s when I had a thought.

  If I could make #1 laugh some more at #2, maybe I could make the battle easier. They were clowns after all, and all clowns were goofy, no matter how big and ugly they were.

  Nefa was regaining her balance from the way the room shook when #2 clobbered his brother. I looked at her, cocking a brow. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  She nodded and flashed her eyes toward #1, still on the ground.

  I targeted #2.

  “Hey, shit for brains, over here,” I said. “Focus on me and not your brother for once.”

  The unemployed jester looked at me with hate in his eyes. “Come here, puny man. I owe you one for hitting me in my jewels.”

  I ran partly up the wall, flipped, and tossed Dark Tusk at him, missing. “Why are you after me when it’s your brother you should be mad at? He’s the one laughing at you.”

  Nefa taunted #1 with a barb of her own. “Hey, your brother doesn’t like you at all, does he?” she said, flipping over four flying cards he threw at her.

  The big brute looked confused. “We just argue, only because it’s funny when he’s too clumsy sometimes, is all,” he said, tossing even more cards across the room.

  Time to make him mad.

  “You hear that?” I shouted. “He called you clumsy and then said it’s funny. Are you going to take that?” I dodged another swipe. “If I were you, I damn sure wouldn’t!” I egged him on, watching for any sign of a reaction.

  Turning my head, I caught Cashius, still struggling with the card stuck to his mouth. Under any other circumstance, I would’ve run to help him, but at the moment, that was damn near impossible.

  Right now, I have to keep the big stupid dipshits mad at each other. Because of their rubber-like skin, none of our attacks caused any damage.

  An explosion from Sparks flew into #2’s face, making him even more agitated, which helped.

  “Keep it up, Sparks,” I said.

  Across the room, Nefa bounced off the walls, using her incredible speed to dodge #1’s attacks.

  “Just how clumsy is your brother, by the way? Does he ever hurt himself?” she called out.

  “My brother is so clumsy, he… he falls down stairs sometimes,” #1 said, bending over and holding his stomach. “That’s when I laugh the most.”

  I didn’t need to do or say anything. All I did was move out of the way and run over to Cashius, assisting him in peeling the card from his face.

  Longrin #2 ran over to his brother, shaking the room with his massive weight. His brother, too busy laughing, didn’t even look up when he got hit with a double-fisted uppercut, lifting him off his feet into the air.

  The hit sounded like two mufflers colliding.

  Nefa sped to my side, swung her scythe, and sliced the card from Cashius’s face, snipping a few hairs in the process.

  Cashius’s eyes grew wide, and he checked his neck for cuts. “First, you call us simple-minded,” he said. “And now you try to slit my fucking throat?” he gasped, sucking in ragged breaths. “Someone ought to teach you some manners.”

  “Calm down, old man… she helped get you free.”

  Nefa glanced at me, but a loud crash immediately drew everyone’s attention.

  “That last time you hit that hard, you broke my nose,” Longrin #1 yelled. “For that, I break your spine.”

  The sadistic clown grabbed #2 by the waist and began to squeeze with all his strength, enough to make even the most ardent wrestling fan wince in awe.

  The Longrin struggled to break free, but his brother wasn’t letting go. Growling and spitting, he gave one final squeeze, and #2’s body went limp.

  After that, gold and an orb drifted to me, alerting me that the vicious move had killed him. A wave of freshness surged through me as I leveled up again. The clown patted his brother, trying to wake him.

  “Get up, and finish what you started,” he said, then began to howl. “I didn’t mean to unalive you.”

  We tried to back away and run, but he turned on us. “You made me kill my brother. For that, I’ll kill you.”

  Those small calf muscles propelled him through the air with savage force, his tongue lolling out like a pit bull’s. In his eyes, tears welled at the loss of his brother.

  When he landed, missing us by inches, he pulled out a new toy I didn’t expect.

  “Time to go boing boing!” he said, reaching behind his back and producing a red hammer with a long, candy-cane-colored handle.

  I almost shit my pants, rushing my tiny squad back before he brought it down.

  The impact rattled the entire chamber. The ground bounced violently, and [-2532]

  “Why… why?” he whimpered, one hand wiping tears from his eyes.

  Cashius retreated to the doorway while Sparks, Nefa, and I closed in on the weeping lunatic.

  “The secret to beating him is his eyes!” Cashius shouted. “It’s the only part that’s not rubber!”

  “Sparks, aim for his eyes!” I barked. “And while you’re at it, heal us, goddammit!”

  She threw potions toward the three of us, instantly replenishing a chunk of our health, then zipped back into formation.

  Sparks’s wings glowed as she orbited me, firing tiny missiles straight at the creature’s eyes. Her missiles, unfortunately, weren’t strong enough to do any damage.

  [0]

  [0]

  [0]

  “Nefa, cover me,” I said.

  The fight had taken on a new form, and if I wanted to come out of it alive, I’d have to change weapons on the fly.

  Nefa threw her scythe at the creature’s body, using her special ability, Soul Sever

  It transformed midair into a spinning disk, ricocheted off the Longrin’s arm, and returned to her hand.

  [0]

  “What are you doing, Lamont? Get on with it!” she hollered, sending the scythe flying again.

  I sprinted forward, pulled up the menu, and switched to Viper and Fang.

  As her scythe struck the insane clown, I flicked both daggers toward his eyes.

  They hit dead center.

  [-590]

  [-607]

  The numbers blinked before I unequipped the daggers and re-equipped them for another throw.

  The bad news? His health bar still hovered around 20,000 HP.

  Twenty perfectly aimed throws just to drop him, I thought.

  Yeah, this is going to suck.

  I wound back to throw again, but the jokester leaped high into the air.

  “Crush time!” he screamed, slamming his gigantic hammer into the ground.

  The chamber erupted. Stone and dust filled the air, and pain tore through me.

  [-4265 HP]

  I staggered and turned toward Nefa. She was down on one knee, breathing hard, sweat glistening under the red light.

  “Hurry, Lamont,” she panted. “I can’t keep this up all day!”

  “Shit, shit,” I hissed, gripping my weapons tighter as Sparks zipped past.

  “Slugthrower!” Cashius shouted. “Gunfire will work, trust me.”

  I switched weapons and fired a deafening round of slugs into the beast’s face.

  Nothing at first, just a massive hand swatting away pellets as they bounced off its rubbery skin.

  But the second shot, timed just as he dropped his guard, hit right on the mark.

  [-5378]

  “Holy shit,” I shouted.

  That blast took a tremendous amount of health from him. And honestly, that was all the motivation I needed to keep unloading into the foul creature.

  Each shot boomed through the dungeon, the recoil kicking against my shoulder as Sparks illuminated the chaos with her frantic light.

  By the time my last shell hit, his health bar was almost gone.

  But now that he was on the brink, his jumps came faster, each one slamming down with brutal force.

  Every impact registered as a critical hit that would’ve killed all three of us if not for the support potions Sparks kept tossing our way.

  We were out.

  The last potion was gone.

  It’s now or never, I thought.

  I steadied the shotgun at my waist, cocked it, and waited for Nefa to make her move.

  She hurled her scythe one last time just as the bastard launched himself skyward, red hammer raised high.

  “Quick!” I shouted.

  Nefa grabbed my arm and, using that legendary strength of hers, threw me at him.

  I soared through the air on the wings of friendship, desperation, and sheer dumb luck.

  The creature’s eyes went wide with terror as I leveled the shotgun and pulled the trigger.

  [Disastrous Kill]

  Gold and glowing orbs floated toward us.

  Then, with a loud clunk, a massive chest hit the ground, scattering glitter across the floor.

  [Platinum Chest]

  Nefa collapsed on her back. Cashius trudged over, rubbing his shoulders. Sparks pumped her tiny fist in victory, glowing like a firework.

  “Good job, boy,” Cashius said, patting my back. “I thought we were done for, but somehow, you pulled it off.”

  “I had no other choice. And for the record, it was all of us that pulled that victory off. Congratulate yourself as well.”

  The chest was glowing and blinking along the edges, waiting for me to open it and claim my prize.

  Nefa crawled from the floor to my side, smiling and grinning. For a moment, I forgot about her saying that Cashius and I were simple-minded.

  Maybe she did too.

  Cashius had already retrieved his cigar from his inside pocket and was puffing on his stogie, that usual smirk plastered over his face.

  “Before you open it,” Nefa said, “I think I should apologize for my outburst back at camp. My father had made me so mad, I lashed out at the people I was sent to protect, my tribe included.” She straightened with pride. “Respect wasn’t shared at that moment, and I hope you’ll give me a chance to earn it back.” Her hand went to her chest.

  I was stunned, because I had already forgiven her, partly because, even though she didn’t want to be here, she still did her duty.

  So I mimicked her pose, throwing my hand over my chest and standing stiffly.

  A smile broke across her face, and before I could react, she threw her arms around me and kissed me on the mouth… in front of Sparks and Cashius.

  If I were lighter, my cheeks would’ve turned red. But since I’m dark-skinned, my ears just burned hot.

  “Thanks, I guess,” I said, glancing at Cashius, who only blew out a white cloud of smoke and started down the corridor leading even deeper underground.

  “Kids and their rotten emotions are gonna get all of us killed.”