On a late cloudy afternoon a rickety buggy rattled across a cracked dirt road. In its double harness two exhausted horses dragged themselves along, limping on their last legs. A hooded figure loosely held the reins, bored as someone who finally got isekai'd only to discover the "grand adventure" is mostly walking and running away form trouble.

  "Ugh I'm sick of this traveling crap, how far is the capital?"

  Hal rummaged through his bag, pulled out a map and crawled toward Vex. He unfolded it and raised an eyebrow.

  "You know, it would be easier to tell if you hadn't scribbled all over the map. And we just bought it."

  "You know when I was summoned here I expected mystical powers, fantastical beasts, RPG stuff, conquering towers by floor. All I got was some funky rocks instead of real magic. And where are the beasts?"

  Hal squinted slightly.

  "RPG stuff?"

  "Oh, whatever. You wouldn't get it."

  "Come on you have to tell me, you give such minimal information on your world, my notes are basically two pages!"

  "Don't bother me."

  "What if... I make you a cool artifact?"

  Vex turned his head slightly. He remembered his early days in Pangea, every town he had to run away from.

  "I want shoes that make you run faster."

  "I'm uncertain if I have chaos for that."

  "But you bought so much at the border! Fucking useless rocks..."

  Hal took out a string, laid it along the map, marked it, measured it with a ruler and did some calculations in his head.

  "I estimate we'll reach the capital in three days."

  Vex exhaled.

  "I'm sick of this, take the reins."

  They swapped places.

  Inside the buggy was as bad as the outside- multiple holes in its tarp let the chill seep in. The party had exited the eternal summer zone just a day ago and the drop in temperature was impossible to ignore.

  Amelie slept in the back, finally back in her robes, now upgraded. Vex had told her to modify them in preparation for harsh weather, when in reality even the sight of them brought him unpleasant memories. On his request she had patched the holes, added a fur collar, embroidered "FF" on one sleeve and a star on her chest. After the modifications her robes looked like a funky military uniform.

  Alixa sat up from her lying position, watching every move Vex made with careful eyes.

  "Did you come here to stink up the room, 'Captain'?"

  On Vex's plain coat sat three embroidered stars, right on his chest. His sleeve had "FF" on the side, just like Amelie's.

  "Missed you too, fiancee."

  ?????

  A day earlier.

  The gang walked through a market in a border town. Hal and Amelie split off to check their own interests, leaving Alixa and Vex alone. As they walked, feeling the awkwardness, Vex spoke up.

  "So~, what did you get up to after leaving the castle?"

  Alixa stopped and turned to him.

  "I'm not talking to you about anything but business. I'm only helping you to get back my political power."

  "Fine. Fine. So let's talk business. Why Wavel?"

  "Scouts from AFO reported a critical situation there. Reports mentioned weird lights coming from the capital's famous tower, unusual guard cruelty and lack of food. We can use this critical state to overthrow its tyrant. And it neighbors Aldrich, so that helps me."

  "Yeah yeah whatever, what's AFO?"

  "Look this stall sells maps."

  They proceeded to buy a map and kept walking. Vex asked again.

  "So what's AFO?"

  "None of your business."

  Vex grinned.

  "You know you shouldn't keep secrets from your fiance."

  THUD

  Vex regained consciousness laying on the brick road, sharp pain slashing through his nose. Alixa stood with her fist extended. She dropped her hand, a second later her anger vanished, her eyes popped wide and her cheeks inflated. As a princess Alixa had been trained not to laugh in public- it was seen as unroyal behavior. She detested people who laughed out loud, but this time she couldn't hold it. She burst. The sight of Vex's nose bent into a zigzag made her feel truly happy for the first time since her banishment. Vex tried to speak, the sound came out like he was pinching his nose.

  "How am I the great emperor supposed to shop like this now?"

  This only made Alixa laugh harder. She held her belly as it started to ache.

  "Ok that's enough. We'll figure out your nose situation once we meet the others. We have a lot of shopping left to do."

  They went to buy clothes and rations. When the group met back up a random passerby stopped. He looked back and forth between Vex and Amelie.

  "No way. You're those guys. What do they call you..."

  Vex stepped up.

  "What guys?"

  "Ah I remember. Fortune's Favoured, you're that party, aren't you?"

  "First time I'm hearing about this."

  The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  "That's you, a black-haired idiot wearing a star on his neck, a shrimp-sized girl wearing star robes ten sizes too big for her and a nerd with round glasses wearing a bumpy cape!"

  "I'm not a black-haired idiot, I'm Star Lord Emperor Vortex, the Unyielding."

  "Yeah, I remember hearing about the black-haired idiot calling himself some dumb crap. Don't you know ? You're famous! Or more like infamous. Especially in Culra and Olpore."

  "Well everything works out for a perfect guy like me, but why do they call us that?"

  "Cuz of your dumb luck. Songs about your impossible gambling wins, killer catches, nobles' embarrassments are shared. You spread chaos everywhere and the only thing saving your little asses is a shit ton of luck."

  "Like I said, everything works out for a perfect guy like me. I'll give you some inspiration. Tell the troubadours a banished princess just joined our party."

  Alixa shouted.

  "Don't make me punch you again."

  ?????

  A day of road was left. Vex held the reins. The landscape gradually turned gray. All vegetation was dead, impenetrable clouds blocked the sun.

  "What the hell is happening..."

  Amelie poked her head out.

  "Lord, these plants aren't speaking, as if they're dead... The stars aren't promising any good."

  Hal spoke from the back of the buggy.

  "Let's not make conclusions. I don't see how such a wide area can be so barren. In historical books Wavel is described as 'golden fields surrounding a tower', so let's drive further."

  As they drove further, nothing changed. Alixa panicked.

  "I told you to bring more food. What if there isn't any at the capital?"

  "Relax princess, we'll figure something out."

  Everyone's stomach rumbled in unison.

  "I as a captain have to uphold my duty to take care of my troops so don't worry."

  As the buggy got closer on a winding road, a massive hill obstructed their view, then slid aside. It revealed a dirty castle in the distance sitting on top of a rocky hill, crowned by a tall tower. Out of the tower a green light spike shot toward the sky, breaking up clouds in its radius. Outside the castle were more dead fields and a bunch of farm buildings and houses. Hal took a closer look with a spyglass.

  Vex asked as if he wasn't the leader of his dysfunctional group.

  "So what's the plan?"

  Alixa and Hal tried to answer at the same time, interrupting each other. Hal tried again.

  "We don't know the situation, let's just enter the castle and look around before doing anything. Vex, use your hood to hide your black hair, I'm not sure if FF's infamy has traveled here, but it's better to be safe."

  Alixa looked a little annoyed.

  They reached the gates. Everyone was extremely hungry, the only thing stopping them from food were tall brick walls and a closed gate. Two identical-looking fully suited guards stood in front of it. Their white armor trimmed with golden lines gave them a royal look. As the party approached the guards stood still, unnaturally still.

  Vex hopped off dramatically, hiding half his face with the hood.

  “I am the gale sent from the shadows to conquer your world, star lord emperor Vortex the UNYIELDING! Step aside for your new master."

  Guards answered in a monotone chorus.

  "State purpose. No entry without seal or tribute."

  Amelie whispered loudly.

  "They all sound like the same spirit wearing many bodies! So mysterious!"

  Confidence didn't work. Vex tried charm.

  "Come on, fellas. Let us in and I’ll make it worth your while."

  The guards nodded 'no' in unison. Vex needed to get back at them. After turning the buggy around to go back he "accidentally" backed up too far, rolling over a guard's foot. The guard didn't even flinch. Vex laughed nervously.

  "Really dedicated to the silent treatment, huh?"

  Hal noted in his book.

  "Lack of reaction to pain suggests complete manipulation set on protecting the castle, without care for themselves."

  The group decided to look at the situation outside the castle.

  ?????

  They dropped Hal near the main road. He camouflaged himself and observed the guards' behavior with his spyglass.

  In the middle of the slums was an open area with high traffic. Starving peasants in rags roamed it, nearby stood a granary. Vex whispered to Alixa.

  "You ready?"

  "Why does it have to be me?"

  "Because you're the smartest."

  "I'm not as stupid as your friends to believe your praise."

  "Fine. Then it's because... uh... our curse. You won't get lost!"

  "Ech... see you in hell."

  Alixa ran off. Seconds later Vex started his speech, Amelie backing him from behind.

  "Hear ye! Hear ye! Good folk, share your tales with travelers of destiny. We traveled from afar to hear you!"

  A crowd gathered, eyeing the group skeptically. Some were afraid to speak, some too desensitized to care.

  "We humble travelers just want to hear your tales, we don't ask much."

  A bitter old woman stepped up.

  "Tales? What tales do you wanna hear boy? New taxes took our grain, our land is dead. Guards flipped one day and took our sons. And we can't even leave, patrols hunt runners now. I suspect they'll hunt you too if you try to escape."

  Another woman screamed hysterically.

  "King Adam and that cursed Wizard Anto sit on the throne now. Good men disappear. We don't run. We stay. Because dying out there with a scrap of freedom tastes the same as rotting here."

  Vex thought out loud.

  "Wizard?"

  A small girl tugged Vex’s cloak, staring at his hood.

  "Are you a shadow wizard mister? Please help us!"

  Before Vex could even think of something he heard Amelie behind him.

  "My Lord is the greatest knight the stars ever sent! He fell from the heavens just for me – and now he’ll save everyone!"

  The little girl tugged again.

  "Mister star wizard. Please blow up that tower... that's where they take everything."

  Vex glanced at the massive spire looming over him. He thought.

  "Holy... it's massive. Damn it. If only I had a weapon... yes a cannon. No, a cannon sword. Wait, no, a cannon spear sword dagger. I could take it down with ease."

  Vex struck a dramatic pose. Nearly everyone was focused on him.

  "I am the gale sent from the shadows to conquer your world, star lord emperor Vortex the UNYIELDING! Your cries stir my imperial heart!"

  Vex looked at their buggy parked near the slums granary. Alixa was signaling.

  "Thank you, good folk, for your pleas, it fills me with determination."

  As they left, the crowd murmured- half hopeful, half skeptical.

  As they drove off, Vex teased Alixa.

  "How was the sack lifting, was it hard for your princess figure to lift those sacks?"

  "Sacks? There was only one... half-full. I feel filthy. Stealing from these wretches? They have nothing! I despise peasants, but this is low even for you."

  "Low? It's efficient. Do it or starve with them."

  Amelie looked at the sack.

  "It doesn't look half-full. You left most of it for the people, you really are nice Alixa, stars always say 'sharing is caring'."

  "Obviously I only took a little. Enough for us to get by for tomorrow. Ech... I don't feel like this filth will ever wash off."

  ?????

  Evening came, the party set up a camp hidden away by rocks. Hal dropped four plates and a pair of shoes on the ground. Everyone's attention was on him.

  "I've studied those creepy guards' behavior. I start to suspect they are inhuman, or somehow controlled."

  Amelie blurted.

  "It must be that wizard guy they mentioned."

  "They have a wizard?"

  Hal was intrigued, but got back to the plan quickly.

  "Anyway, that's beside the point. We'll worry about it later. The guards patrol every 180 seconds leaving a large gap to go over the wall."

  Vex shouted.

  "I ain't climbing!"

  "Yip yip yip. I wasn't done talking. Those walls are unclimbable anyway. I created these artifacts, they will launch us over the wall. Next you're going to say 'we're gonna splat like pancakes'."

  Vex was silent. After a slight pause he simply said.

  "No."

  "Ech, I always wanted to try that trick. Anyway we'll use artifacts to break our fall. The ones we used while escaping Gils' mansion. Problem is I have only three and we'll need one for testing. So we'll fall in pairs."

  "Testing?"

  "Yeah, anyone up for it?"

  Amelie got excited.

  "Me! I wanna fly with the stars."

  Vex wanted to object but the idea of doing it himself made him abstain.

  Hal prepared the plate and handed Amelie her safe-landing artifact. She stepped on.

  "Preparing to launch. Chaos is gathering energy at a sufficient rate."

  The platform's sides started glowing green brighter and brighter.

  Amelie got a little worried.

  "The stars say ‘splat’ very lou-"

  ZOOM

  Amelie zipped in a completely different trajectory. She flipped mid-air and started falling head-down. As she held tightly onto her robes they ballooned and slowed her fall like a parachute, landing upside down in a tree. Branches caught on layers of fabric and stopped her. She was stuck in a tree upside down, her panties displayed high like a proud flag.

  Vex snickered.

  "Cute pattern… shame about the lack of scenery."

  Vex helped her get down, feeling slight guilt for letting her do the experiment. Amelie, still dizzy, asked.

  "I was so close to the stars, I feel like I could see them in my head, not just the sky! Did the spirits show you a vision too, My Lord?"

  "Yeah, a vision of disappointment."

  Hal rushed to his tool bag and recalibrated every plate.

  "Good thing we tested."

  Morning came. Everyone hid in bushes near a spot Hal had scoped out. As soon as guards left, they rushed to set up their artifacts. They stood in pairs: Vex and Alixa, Hal and Amelie. Prepared for launch. Four "heroes" standing before an ominous tower as the sun rose, ready for the unknown that waited on the other side.