In the months that I've been in therapy, I've realized something: I'm mentally insane. Things that I do that I thought were normal, aren't. Things that I laugh and joke about, aren't supposed to be funny. Things I complain about are useless to complain about. And more so things that I like are abnormal and creepy, and things that I ate are normal things that most people have no opinion on or like. I talk to myself and get responses that I don't have control over, but I don't have schizophrenia, I just know myself too well. I listen to creep music to make myself feel better, which apparently is weird and creepy. I also tend to let my intrusive thoughts dictate my life without a care in the world. I do everything without caring. My motto is "Go with the flow, because I just don't give a fuck anymore, so why not?" A shitty motto, I admit, but it's what I live by. I'm very creepy when I want people to leave me alone, and I'm a huge bitch. But I don't care. I've been told that I'm a walking red flag, to which I reply, "Red flags don't walk, dumbass!" with a shitty eye roll and look of disgust and a middle finger in the air that follows, receiving a middle finger, an insult, and an eye roll in return. I even tried to kill myself on multiple occasions, though the scars are easy to cover up. So, yeah, I am fucked up. More than normal. I'm fucking twisted.

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