Sabrina tightly squeezed on her girlfriend’s hand, shaking her knee anxiously. “This is a terrible idea,” she compined.

  Before coming down to Joan’s Diner to meet her dad, the couple had to tackle the oddly complicated task of getting dressed. Both of them had undergone radical changes in their clothes sizes in the st week, and the outfits that fit them were overtly sexualized. Thus, both dressed in yers, with baggy hoodies on top. Beyond that, they made sure to arrive first and sit down to keep their rge and attention-grabbing rears out of sight. As far as Jade’s chest? Maybe Sabrina would bme impnts.

  The chiming of bells announced the arrival of Sabrina’s father. Jade waved him over, while Sabrina kept her head down. Her whole life had quickly become impossible to expin, especially to her dad.

  “Funky cold Medina!” Jade greeted enthusiastically. She motioned to rise for a hug, but an insistent tug from Sabrina reminded her to stay down.

  Bill broke into an amused smile, widening his salt-and-pepper mustache. “Hi Jade, nice to see you. Sabrina, you’re looking well. Almost… did you get work done?”

  Sabrina blushed and her jaw dropped. “No! I didn’t have any work done,” she grumbled.

  “Whoa! Sorry for asking, I didn’t realize it was a touchy subject,” Bill said with the wariness of a man stepping back from a ndmine.

  Jade did the heavy lifting for keeping the small talk going as Bill settled in and coffee came out to the table. The two of them had always gotten along quite well, ever since Jade and Sabrina’s high school days. It saved Sabrina the trouble of having to introduce her partner to her dad, but was also what got her into this situation.

  “So,” Bill came out with it, “what’s the big news?”

  What was Sabrina supposed to tell him? ‘Oh, don’t worry. I was dead, but I’m fine now because I was reincarnated as a shapeshifting demon? That was ludicrous.

  Jade swooped in to the rescue. “Bill, the truth is,” she started. With the drawn-out tone and enthusiasm of Oprah, she finished, “we’re daaating!”

  Bill put his hand on his chest, sighing his relief. “Whew! Thank god. Girls, that’s fantastic news, but your tone on the phone nearly gave me a heart attack!”

  Sabrina felt more at ease. Sabrina could live with this save. It was true— they were dating, and that was big news. So, she wasn’t technically lying to the man who raised her all by himself and gave her everything. “I’m sorry about that. Jade is very… theatrical.”

  “I put that one together a while ago,” Bill joked. “Congratutions. I kind of always hoped you two would end up together.”

  “Me too,” Jade said back without missing a beat. “Took her long enough, right? Now I just need to talk her into making you a grandkid with me.”

  Sabrina gred at Jade while Bill fumbled for a response to the crude joke. “I don’t think that’s… oh well, I’ll leave you to figure that one out. Well, thank you for asking me down there to tell me in person.”

  “Because I am a gentleman,” Jade interjected.

  “Right. While I’m down here, though, I’m afraid I have some news of my own.”

  Sabrina straightened out, interested. Had her dad finally found a dy of his own? Would she have a stepmom?

  “I’ll just come out with it… I have Hodgkin’s lymphoma,” he announced.

  Sabrina went pale. “Cancer?” she asked sheepishly.

  “Oh, Bill,” Jade said in a concerned tone.

  “Don’t worry,” Bill insisted. “They say it’s one of the most treatable cancers you can get, and I’m otherwise in good health. I’m starting chemo this week. I promise you, Sabrina— I’m not going anywhere.”

  Sabrina teared up. Just the idea that there was any risk he might not beat it, or that he’d need to go through chemo to do it seemed unjust. She’d just cheated death yesterday. Hell, even her first level or two of Lust added decades to her life.

  Then it hit her. She had the solution right here. Leveling up made someone more than human. Then again, the idea made her so squeamish. Was she really about to give her dad sexual upgrades? Ick.

  But… she had to. Cancer or no, holding back due to her own distaste would significantly shorten her father’s life. Determined, she pulled a heart-shaped jelly from her inventory.

  Bill gave a surprised look. “Whoa! Did you learn slight-of-hand?”

  >Distaste for lewdness detected. Transmute this person’s jellies to their wholesome variants? (Y/N)

  Wholesome variant? Sabrina was almost offended that she was never offered this. Then again, it seemed likely that she consented psychically before ever picking up a jelly.

  >Y.

  Sabrina extended her arm, prompting her dad to hold out his hand, confused. Sabrina dropped the jelly, and Bill began asking, “What’s…” from there, he trailed off as he unintentionally popped it.

  >[Heart] has reached lvl 1!

  >No css. (1/6) Aspects unlocked. Unlock (6/6) to gain a css.

  >In the absence of a css, your points have been allocated automatically.

  >New Perk: Empathetic. Increased awareness and consideration of the feelings of others.

  >New cultivation path: experiencing nature. Complete challenges to gain rewards.

  >New affinity: bird photography.

  Dumbfounded, Bill gave a curious, “Huh.”

  “Dad,” Sabrina said with a conviction that she’d cked throughout this conversation. “I have something to tell you.”

  …

  When Sabrina got home, she was practically vibrating with a newfound sense of purpose. She found Alice, Sloan, and Blossom, who seemed to be breeding slimes. Odd, but Sabrina brushed past it. “Guys! House meeting!” she announced.

  “Technically this is an apartment meeting,” Alice pedantically informed Sabrina as she came out to the living room.

  “Team meeting,” Sabrina said, too determined to get caught up bickering.

  “This is serious,” Jade said, letting her friends know that quips weren’t needed. Sabrina was showing some manic energy that was a tad worrying, but she was happy to see her so passionate. “The floor is yours.”

  Sabrina paced back and forth, trying to get her thoughts straight. “Okay so basically I have an idea — a proposal! Being… let’s save the world!”

  Alice and Sloan both narrowed their eyebrows. Alice asked, “From?”

  “All of it!” Sabrina answered. “Let me start from the beginning. We went out to that awkward breakfast with my dad, and we told him we’re dating to cover for the fact I died. But then he told us he had cancer, so I cured it!” Seeing the incredulous looks, she crified, “I gave him jellies.”

  “Gross,” Sloan commented.

  “Not gross! It turns out you can turn the jellies into their wholesome variants. He didn’t get any perverted powers at all.”

  “Oh my god…” Alice said, thinking over the implications.

  “So that got me thinking,” Sabrina continued, frantic. “We’re hoarding this! If we can cure cancer, then everyone we don’t cure is basically murder! And what about other diseases? Especially when we add in alchemy and all that jazz— what’s the limit? Can we cure AIDS, like for good? Then I got thinking beyond that. Magical powers, plus a built-in system for getting cold and silver that’s immune to the IRS, whatever that means… we could get rid of poverty. People— no, neighborhoods, could not only do their own policing, but have a way to fight back against police. We’d level the pying field between the sexes, in terms of strength. That’s gotta do something to curtail abusive retionships. The working css would have the power to rise up against the owning css. Plus, I mean… I’m not gonna get too specific about what it could mean for certain global conflicts, but… I don’t know, am I making any sense?”

  “Kinda… whatever it is, count me in. Sounds hardcore,” Sloan said, giving her confused vote of confidence.

  “I could think of a few people who I’ve been wanting to share magical HRT with,” Alice said. “Plus it’s funny to imagine bigots shitting their pants when every queer person we come across gets super powers. I’m guessing we’re doing that?”

  “One hundred percent, we’re doing that,” Sabrina said.

  “How do we start?” Alice asked.

  Sabrina had an enthusiastic answer prepared for that question. “The first step is recruiting more lesbians.”

  Sloan scoffed, looking offended. “Are you kidding? You got mad at me and told me to stop doing that!”

  Sabrina brought her palm to her face while Alice and Jade ughed. “Okay first of all, you’re just going to keep getting your heart broken if you keep making yourself into an experiment for bi-curious girls! Second, you know that’s not what I mean. The dungeoneer clearly has a clear preference for lesbians… and Jade… so I don’t want to lose Her good will. Plus, it’s just… our space, you know?”

  There were meaningful nods of agreement around the room. Sabrina moved forward to the next step. “With more divers, we can ramp up our output of jellies, magic items, potions, and whatever else we can use to help people. That can only go so far, though. All people have a right to self-determination. Plus, let’s be real, magic vibrators and lingerie isn’t going to solve a lot of society’s ills. So, for the next step, we need to track down more dungeons. That way, we can kickstart a decentralized, self-sustaining magic distribution system.”

  The girls traded idle musings on how to even begin their search for other dungeons. Then it occurred to them: why not ask someone native to a dungeon. Thus, all eyes drifted upward, at the fluffy orange cat watching over the room. The cat was nonchantly licking her back leg. Red then dismissed her gmour, demonstrating surprising flexibility as she continued licking her leg in imp form.

  “May I help you?” Red asked, full of sass.

  “Do you know anything about other dungeons?” Jade asked. “For instance, where to find them?”

  “Tsk tsk tsk…” Red teased. “Is that all I am to you? A human encyclopedia?”

  “You’re not human,” Sabrina said, returning the attitude. “And no, I believe the job you signed up for was our pocket pussy.”

  “Then why isn’t your dick in me?”

  Sabrina shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s in my nightstand. You’re welcome to it.”

  “Wow,” Red scoffed. “You come to me for help, and then you tell me to go fuck myself?”

  Sabrina rolled her eyes, and asked, “Do you know anything about the other dungeons, or not?”

  Red dropped the fa?ade, and answered, “No. Sorry, can’t help ya. I’ve only ever been to the one dungeon, and so did the… you know.”

  “The woman you killed,” Sabrina filled in the bnk. “What about Blossom? She killed someone, too.”

  “The what? She did what?” Sloan asked.

  A shimmering green figure emerged from Sloan’s bedroom. Blossom’s confident, yet gentle voice joined the discussion. “It’s true. I’m not proud of it, but it a pivotal part of my story. I took a human life and absorbed a portion of her memories in the process. It was a horrible act, and I would never do it again, but I am who I am because of Florence.”

  Without moving her legs, Blossom skated along the floor and out to the living room. “Florence had been to another dungeon, interestingly enough. However, I only inherited broken fshes of that memory, and none of the information about the location of its entrance went to me. What I can tell you is that it did not have the sexual overtones of our dungeon, and that it had dragons.”

  That gave Sabrina an idea, and her eyes went wide. “Dragons! We do know of someone from another dungeon!”

  Red picked up the baton. “Oneira’s wife, Eurydice! I met her once, she’s incredible.”

  “Ye… her name is Eurydice? That seems… how old is she? Is she named after… or…? Whatever. It doesn’t matter. Yes! We need to speak to her.”

  Red snorted a ugh, and said, “Good luck with that. Her and Oneira are basically minor deities. Even with what Oneira did for you, it’s unlikely you’ll ever see her again.”

  “We’ll figure something out,” Sabrina said confidently. “Deities have kind of a thing for me.”

  With that, the group went about making preparations to save the world.